There’s nothing more difficult than trying to get a grasp on what growing up is all about. It’s one of the most trying, not to mention utterly terrifying, things that you can do in life. Unfortunately, it doesn’t get much easier as you age, but there are ways to get through it. Sometimes we struggle to find what we need to pull us through our everyday lives and that’s totally okay. It’s okay to need help and reach out for it. There are going to be times, especially when we are in our teens, that it feels as if life is pulling us in several different directions. Of course, this can make it feel like we are going to be torn apart at any minute.
As boys, you are often taught to ‘man up’ and ‘deal with it’ without showing any emotion. Even though you truly want to. You will feel the need to keep a poker face and not process the things that are going on around you. Of course, this doesn’t always ring true for every young boy, but it is more common than not.
So what does this mean for you, as a teenager, as a boy? What are you supposed to do when you face your downfalls day after day? Well, step one: Take a deep breath. Because it’s important to remember that no matter what is happening around you, it’s all going to be just fine.
Nothing is forever. Not today, not tomorrow and certainly not always.
When life puts us through things that we feel we can’t handle we must try to remember there are people out in the world that understand what we are going through. Although it doesn’t always feel like it. When you are young you often feel alone in the world. Teenagers are chalked full of hormones that they don’t fully understand yet. Which can make it hard to feel like anyone understands you. But, that is simply not true. You are never alone.
The toughest part about being a teenager? When we face trials and tribulations, we might not feel like we are properly ready to face whatever is thrown our way. Whether it’s friends, school, our parents, etc. Whatever it is, just remember, you are ready to face it. You can do this.
Here is some advice for teenage boys that we have gathered to help you become even stronger and push through whatever is standing in your way.
Advice For Young Boys
It’s okay to have emotions: The absolute number one thing to remember, no matter what anyone on this planet tells you, is that it is okay to break down and be emotional. You are not any less of a ‘man’ for doing so. Human emotion is human emotion. Not women’s emotion. Emotion is unisex. It is meant for anyone and everyone. Leaving emotion unattended will result in you letting it build up dangerously within you. This can lead to a major blowout one day. You don’t want something like that to happen, because it will definitely be far from pretty.
Asking for help is alright too: You don’t have to face everything that you do in life alone. Reaching out to someone for a hand or even a shoulder to lean on is perfectly acceptable. When you are young and when you are old. There will be times where you need someone that you can count on. Don’t try to be macho and push everyone away when you are hurting! You will get nowhere in life doing that.
Love your body: You only get one body, so it is very important to treat it right. You might think this is a silly, motherly thing to say, but any guy who is older will tell you that they wish they had been better to themselves physically when they are young. You won’t be 15, 16, 17 forever! Your body will start rapidly changing before you even realize it. You will regret all the times you said screw it to healthy eating and exercise as you age.
But remember that your body is yours: People don’t talk about how young boys develop eating disorders just as frequently as girls do. Remember that although you want to take care of your body, it’s your body and you are entitled to do with it what you please. Don’t let other people’s opinions of how you look ever matter. Every individual is handsome and perfect in their own way. No one should be able to tell you otherwise.
Be open minded: It’s easy to brush things off because you are terrified or weirded out by them. But don’t do that. Keep an open mind in everything that you do in life. You will thank yourself later down the line for doing the things that scared you, because in the end they will be so worthwhile! Remember you might never get a second chance to do something that you once had the chance to do!
Have the hobbies you want: Even if other people don’t think they are ‘cool’ or ‘worth the time’. What matters is how you feel when you do something. Does it make you feel good to do this certain hobby? Then do it. Someday you will be grateful that you stuck with the things you loved. You might even snag a huge money making career from doing one of them. Life is just funny that way.
Have a real idea of what a man is: A man isn’t what you see in media. They aren’t always tough, buff and ready to rumble. No, real men are proud to be intelligent. They are caring, generous, compassionate and kind. Be good to others. Being good to others is what defines you. How you see other people and how you treat them are two separate things. Always output the good vibes and hold in the negative ones. Helping others is a skill that you will need later on down the line. Although in high school it’s much too easy to turn the other cheek and pretend that no one needs your help. Don’t do that. ‘Man up’ and be good to everyone you encounter. These aren’t just things that make a good man. No, this is what makes a good person.
Trust your instincts: This is important for girls and boys alike. Don’t let yourself succumb to peer pressure or be told what to do by those you surround yourself with. You are your own person and you make your own decisions. Even if you are still considered a child. Always listen to what your gut is telling you. It is the compass that will forever guide you in the right direction.
Lust and love are not the same thing: It might feel that way, because, well, you know hormones are insane! However, they are two separate things. Will you get to experience one before the other or both at the same time? Who knows! But what we do know is that someday you will be able to tell the difference between the two. It’s important to try and define that difference as soon as possible to prevent yourself from getting heartbroken over and over again. Find a girl who wants to be emotionally intimate with you just as much as she wants to be physically intimate with you.
It’s okay to be heartbroken and, yes, even cry: Like we mentioned before, young boys are often taught that crying makes them weak. That is not true. Crying is a natural part of being human. It’s one of the only ways that we know how to actually vent sadness without being destructive. So it’s important to harness the power and benefit of a good cry. It’s what will ultimately make you a stronger person. Girls will come and go. They will break your heart. You will have to deal with that heartbreak in one way or another. So remind yourself when that time comes that it is totally natural to let those tears flow.
Love isn’t everything: Having a girlfriend might feel like the only thing that matters right now, but it’s not. There is so much more to life than love and lust. You might feel pressured to settle down right out of high school, but slow your roll buddy. Go out and experience the world before you’re stuck in one place, with one person for the rest of your life. Try to make an effort to see past the borders of your hometown. There is so many amazing things that the world has to offer.
High school is temporary: We know that those four years can feel like an eternity, but it will come to an end someday. You might even miss it once it’s gone. That’s just a part of growing up. Your grades will be a dull part of your memory, the people you went to school with will become distant acquaintances. So don’t worry too much about how you appear in high school, because someday, in all honesty, it will not matter at all anymore… One day anyways.
Pick your friends carefully: Don’t hang out with people just because they are ‘popular’ or ‘cool’. No, instead, open yourself up to everyone around you. You’d be surprised at how many actually cool and interesting people you meet by doing so. Getting in with the wrong crowds can lead to poor decision making skills and choices that you might never live down. Be true to who you are. Don’t push people away when you don’t want to just because someone else told you to. You will eventually come to regret doing that. Some friendships can’t be mended. Sometimes a burnt bridge cannot be rebuilt. Remember that.
Believe in yourself: There will be times that you feel like no one is there to cheer you on, but that is why it’s important to be your own best friend in the long run. Be there for yourself so that when no one else is there, you don’t feel so lonely. You will find a person to love you again, but until then just try to love yourself.