Art is a way that people have expressed their creativity, ideas and events for thousands and thousands of years. Ancient cavemen drew images of their greatest hunts and people in caves with pigments. Over the years, art has been used to define societies, express emotions and design amazing architectural structures. With such a focus on art, it is unsurprising that people would want some art puns and jokes as well. These art puns are a fun way to joke with your favorite artists and painters. You can also use this list to inspire your own art puns and jokes.
1. Why can you never trust an artist? Because they are a bit sketchy, a little shady and will always try to frame you.
2. Why did the artist have to go to the bathroom right away? Because when you gotta Van Gogh, you gotta Van Gogh.
3. Which barnyard animal is also one of the world’s most famous painters? Vincent Van Goat.
4. What was the most artistic Harry Potter character? Monet Myrtle.
5. How many visitors to the art museum does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it and the other to say, “My toddler could have done that!”
6. How did one artist say hello to another artist? Yellow!
7. Why couldn’t the artist go to the bathroom? He was consti-painted.
8. Why was the painter upset when his doctor bought all of his paintings? The doctor thought the paintings would go up in value after his death.
9. Why did the girl want to date an artist? She heard that they do it with longer strokes.
10. Who do you call a pig who can paint like a great artist? Pablo PIGcaso.
11. Why didn’t the artist replace his kitchen sink? Because he said that if it’s not baroque, don’t fix it.
12. If you photograph your pimples, is zit art?
13. How many artists do you need to change a single light bulb? Ten. One artist changes it, and the others tell him how great it looks.
14. I told the artist that his painting was completely terrible. But I’m not sure if he got the picture.
15. Pablo Picasso was hard at work when a burglar arrived in his studio. The burglar got away, but Picasso said that he could draw what the man looked like. Because of his drawing, the police arrested the minster of labor, a monk, a kitchen sink and the Eiffel Tower.
16. How many modern artists would it take to change a light bulb? Four. One tosses bulbs against the wall to shatter them. Another one glues the light bulb to a cat. The other piles hundreds of them in a heap and paints them blue. The last one puts the bulb in to fill the room with light as the critics watch in awe.
17. If Van Gogh were alive today, what would you call his autobiography? The Starry of My Life.
18. What was the artist’s favorite swimming stroke? The brushstroke.
19. Did you hear about the really great artist? They say he could really draw a crowd.
20. What did blue say to orange? I never say no to a complement.
21. How many surrealists do you need to change a light bulb? Two. One to fill the bathtub with machine tools and one to hold a giraffe. Two. One to change the light bulb and the other to toss cups of water from the window. Monkey.
22. What did one paint say to another when they got in an argument? Don’t use that tone with me.
23. Did you see the display of still-life art? It was not at all moving.
24. Why did Van Gogh become a painter? Because he just didn’t have an ear for music
25. What did Michelangelo tell the ceiling? Don’t worry because I’ve got you covered.
26. What do you call it when someone is hanging on the wall? Art.
27. What does an artist call his sketch pad? A house.
28. What did one painter tell the old wall? Give me one more crack and I’ll plaster you.
29. Did you hear about the artist’s really mess house? He said it was “a work in progress.”
30. What did the artist tell his greatest nemesis? I challenge you to a doodle!
31. Did you hear about the painter who works in jail? They say he had a brush with the law.
32. What painting is terrible at ever being happy? The Moaning Lisa.
33. What do you call a mixed media artist who doesn’t have a girlfriend? Homeless.
34. Why did the bald man decide to paint a bunch of rabbits on his head? He thought that they could look like hares from a distance.
35. What do you call the guy who draws pictures of criminal suspects? A con artist.
36. Where does a cow hang his best paintings? In a moo-seum, of course.
37. How did Salvador Dali like to start his mornings? With a bowl of Surreal and milk.
38. Did you hear about the one guy who stole all of those paintings? He tried to brush off the charges, and I really think he was framed.
39. Why was the museum curator so good at judging paintings and sculptures? He was talented at art official intelligence.
40. What do you call a painting by a cat of herself? A self paw-trait.
41. Why can’t you peer pressure an artist? Because they really know how to draw the line.
42. What song does a painter sing when he is in truly dire straits? Monet for Nothing.
43. What was the name of the roundest knight at King Arthur’s Round Table? Sir Cumference.
44. Did you hear about the painter who just died? They say he had too many strokes.
45. Did you hear what the burglars say after they tried to rob the museum and their car ran out of gas? They said that they didn’t have the Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.
46. Did you hear about the new blonde paint? They say that it isn’t bright, but spreads easy.
47. Why did the cops arrest a painting? Because it was framed.
48. Why does everyone paint Easter Eggs? Because it is a lot easier than wallpapering them.
49. Why can’t a tattoo artist be faithful? Because he always has designs on his clients.
50. Why was the painter buttering his toast with just his fingers? He wanted to feel the texture.
51. What do you call it when an artist dreams in color? A pigment of their imagination.
52. Why did the artist get into a heated argument with the gallery curator? He just wasn’t in the right frame of mind.
53. Why do artistic wives love when football season rolls around? Because it is the only time their husbands sit on the couch long enough to be painted.
54. What does a pirate steal when he has the time? Arrrrrrt.
55. What is the biggest difference between a painter and an electrician? An electrician has to washes his hands after he goes to the bathroom, but a painter washes his hands before.
56. What would the theme song be if they made a movie called Louvre Actually? They’d use Celine Dion’s My Art Will Go On.
57. Why did the painter love to paint? Because he was just drawn to art.
58. What do you call a cowboy who is also an artist? Someone who can draw fast.
59. Why are artists always colorful people? Because they know how to draw on their emotions.
60. What do you saw when someone is kicked out of cartoon art school? They are in suspended animation.
61. Why did the leech apply for a job in an art gallery? Because he was good at drawing blood.
62. Why don’t artists join the military? Because they keep drawing enemy fire.
63. They say that the cardio system is the work of artery, but it is really just vein.
64, They say that she only paints night scenes. Other artists really pale by comparison.
65. Why did the girl decide to become an art dealer? Because she wanted more Monet.
66. What happened when the artist tried to draw a cube? He suffered from a mental block.
67. Why was the artist dying? He had painted himself into a corner.
68. How did the man become the head of the artist’s union? He started by canvassing artfully.
69. What was the art teacher so bad? She could only draw blank faces.
70. Why couldn’t the writer caption a piece of art? He couldn’t picture the meaning of it.
71. Where will you find an FBI sketch artist? In the bureau drawer.
72. What do you call an artist without a palette? Someone who makes paintings without taste.
73. Why did you fall in love with the Paris art museum? It was just Louvre at first site.
74. Why did the portrait artist take a side job as a census taker? Because he was great at canvassing people.
75. Why do old artists never die? They just withdraw.
76. Why are artists so temperamental? They have to get into the right frame of mind.
77. Why do old artists never die? They just put things in perspective.
78. Why did the origami artist win her court case? She was great at doing the paperwork.
79. What is a definition of art theft? The haul of frames.