Every solid relationship should be based on honesty. But that doesn’t mean that you should start out asking every question that pops into your head. There are some questions you shouldn’t ask early on into a relationship and others you would probably be better off avoiding altogether.
The problem is that sometimes it isn’t clear which questions will cause the most trouble. Fortunately, we’re here to help out. We’ve got a list of 15 questions you should avoid. Relationships can be a minefield, and we’re putting down flags so you can watch your step.
#1. Is it that time of the month?
If a woman wants to talk about her period she will bring it up, she doesn’t need you bringing up the topic. It’s not something a woman wants to think about anymore than she already has to.
Also, never ask this question if you think it’s the reason why she’s mad. Nine times out of ten when men think their girl is mad because of PMS she’s actually upset at something he did.
#2. How much money do you make?
Unless you’re getting ready to get married or start combining your finances, it’s best to keep money matters private. It used to be that gold-diggers were all women, but now women who work for a living have to worry about men who will mooch off of them.
If you start asking about her money, then she might think you’re one of these jerks. Don’t do it.
#3. Have you thought about losing weight?
Never mention a girl’s weight. It’s just something you don’t do. We live in a world where we are constantly surrounded by images of impossibly thin models. And I mean impossibly thin, it’s amazing how Photoshop can transform a person’s body.
In this sort of atmosphere many women and men have body issues, and asking questions about your girlfriend’s weight could awaken these sorts of issues. And don’t argue that you’re just worried about her health!
Even if she has health issues it’s scientifically proven that if people feel that others are judging them they actually have a hard time taking steps to address their issues. It’s your job to build her up, not tear her down.
#4. Is this part of your body real?
We all know some women who look a little less natural in certain areas. Plastic surgery is more popular today than ever before, but that doesn’t mean that it’s a polite subject of conversation. Guys, there are two options. Maybe it’s not what mother nature gave her but it’s on her body, and that’s what matters.
On the other hand, there’s a good chance it’s real, and now she’s embarrassed and is probably mad at you. This is a lose-lose situation, keep the questions to yourself. If she wants to talk about any changes she’s made to her body she can bring the topic up.
#5. Does size matter?
It’s no secret that men can be self-conscious when it comes to certain measurements. Sometimes they feel like they can alleviate their worries by bringing them up with their girlfriend. The problem is that sometimes girlfriends are a bit too honest.
You have what you have, what matters is what you do with it. Stick to making her as happy as you can and don’t bring up things you can’t change.
#6. Down for something kinky?
OK, if you’ve been dating for a while you might be able to bring certain things up. But you have to be careful, especially if you’re just starting out. You don’t want to give her the idea that you are some sort of freak that thinks about one thing and one thing only.
If you have something you are really interested in you might be able to hint at it if she sends the conversation in a sexual direction but in most cases, it’s best to keep your lips zipped.
#7. How many men have there been in your life?
You don’t want to know. This is another question that cannot lead to anything good. Women feel pressured to give low numbers. This leads some women to lie because they feel like they have no choice, and you don’t want to put a girl in a situation where she feels like she can’t be honest.
Plus, no matter how small the number is it’s just going to make you think about your girlfriend and other men. That’s no fun, so keep this question to yourself. Even if she asks how many girls you’ve been with don’t return the favor, just enjoy your bliss.
#8. Do I satisfy you more than your ex?
Don’t make her compare you to her ex. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses; there is always going to be something her ex did better than you. The more exes she has, the more ways she can find you lacking.
This isn’t a game that leads to any good outcomes for you. She must prefer you over them, or she’d be with them and not you, just be satisfied with that and enjoy things as they re.
#9. Want to go Dutch?
Also known as splitting the bill. Let’s be frank here, there’s no such thing as gender equality in the dating world. Equality in the workplace is great, and there are lots of areas where equality would be nice in the dating arena, but you have to play the cards you’re dealt. Women tend to expect men to at least offer and pay.
Even if a girl wants to pay for her food, she might still think you’re cheap if you ask her to pay. Yeah, it sucks. But that’s the way of the world; there are all sorts of things women can rightly complain about so don’t even bother raising your concerns with a woman. If you want to keep your cash stay home and play video games.
#10. What should I call you?
Once you learn a girl’s name, memorize it like your life depends on it. Nothing can derail a date quite like forgetting her name. Women want men who see them as human beings, not just pieces of meat.
You might be the biggest gentleman, but if you forget her name, she’ll think you don’t respect her. If you must try and write her name down somewhere, just make sure she doesn’t see it.
#11. Do I need to use protection?
If the question needs to be answered, then the answer is yes. If a woman is on the pill or using some other type of contraception, she will talk about it with you. Don’t try and pressure her into something she isn’t comfortable with. If something goes wrong, she’s going to be the one with the bigger burden.
#12. What are you so mad about?
If she isn’t telling you what’s bothering her, then you’re probably the problem. Asking her this type of question will just make her madder. If she’s giving you the cold shoulder, it’s time to put on your thinking hat and try and reason out what she’s mad about.
Still, you might not be able to come up with the right answer. Then it’s time to get on your knees and ask for forgiveness. There’s no winning a fight with a woman, us men just aren’t equipped for the type of emotional combat they’re capable of.
#13. Do you love me?
If she’s not willing to say she loves you, then you’re not going to help things out by trying to put pressure on her. If you’ve told her how you feel and she hasn’t said the same words back then you either need to move on or stick it out.
There is no shortcut to love, and you certainly can’t get there by asking a question like this. Only ask this question if you’re deciding whether or not it’s time to end the relationship.
#14. Why are you dressed like that?
You can ask about her clothes if you are honestly interested in her fashion philosophy but watch your tone. Grown women get to dress however they want. Unless your girlfriend has specifically asked you for style advice, then it’s best to swallow all judgmental comments.
Women grow up with plenty of family members, authority figures, and strangers trying to police how they dress. They don’t need a boyfriend who is going to tell them what they can and can’t wear.
#15. Why don’t you smile?
If a woman isn’t smiling, she probably has her reasons. Women have every right to walk around with a frown if they want to. If you really want to cheer her up then do something to make her life better. Don’t act like she owes you a smile even if you’ve been together for years.
This may seem like a harmless comment but when women keep hearing people telling them to smile they feel like they aren’t being given the right to express their true feelings. Your girlfriend should be able to be herself around you. Be her refuge in an all-too-critical world.