Whether your birthday is rolling around or you want to help someone else celebrate their birthday, these birthday puns and jokes can help. We have compiled a list of the best birthday puns that you can modify or use as they are written.
1. Birthdays always make me feel so warm and fuzzy. It’s all the candles.
2. While I love having birthdays, I think that having too many will kill you. That’s certainly true.
3. Little Johnny decided to stand on his head for his birthday because he heard that they were going to serve upside-down cake. That sounds so cute.
4. What do cats eat on their birthday? Mice cream cake.
5. What did one candle tell the other? I hate birthdays because they really burn me up.
6. Why did the birthday cake go to see the psychologist? He was feeling rather crumby.
7. Why do you always get a warm feeling on your birthday? People won’t stop toasting you.
8. Why was the little girl given soap for her birthday? It was a soap-prize party.
9. I found out why I was getting heartburn from eating my birthday cake. The doctor said that it was because of the candles.
10. When is a golf ball like a birthday cake? When you slice it.
11. When should a birthday cake be like a hard rock? When it is marble cake.
12. What type of cake should a coffee snob get? Choco-latte.
13. What type of cake do they give you on your birthday in heaven? Angel food cake.
14. What do dancers say when someone has a birthday? Tappy birthday!
15. People who have the most birthdays will live the longest. That’s rather obvious.
16. Why couldn’t the caveman send a birthday card? The stamp kept falling off of the rock.
17. They say that the love affair between the cream and sugar was the icing on the cake this year. Icing is delicious.
18. Why wouldn’t the teddy bear eat his birthday cake? He was just too stuffed.
19. What is the best way to remember a wife’s birthday? Forget that it happened once.
20. What did the computer tell the woman on her birthday? You need an upgrade.
21. How do clams enjoy their birthdays? They like to shell-abrate.
22. What do you give a 900-pound ape on his birthday? Anything he wants.
23. Why do people put candles on the top of the birthday cake? Because it’s too hard to put it on the bottom.
24. What did everyone hear the pirate shouting at his 80th birthday party? Aye, matey! (I’m eighty.)
25. How can you tell when you are getting old? When the orthopedist starts sending you birthday cards.
26. Why did the bad husband buy his wife playing cards on her birthday? She said she wanted anything with diamonds in it.
27. They say that the only thing that goes up on your birthday is your age. Ouch.
28. What is the one good thing about having a lot of birthdays? You’ll be released first in a hostage situation.
29. What did the bald man say after he was given a comb on his birthday? I’ll never part with it.
30. What did the Chinese scholar tell his good friend on the friend’s birthday? You are Yung No Mo.
31. What is the simplest way to see how old an elephant is on his birthday? Just check his driver’s license.
32. Why should you make friends with babies? Because then you’ll get free cake once each year for a lifetime.
33. The best thing about buying a birthday cake all the time is they never check to see if someone is actually having a birthday. This is less a birthday pun than an amazing fact of life.
34. What should you get an elf on his birthday? You can never go wrong with buying them a shortcake.
35. What did Jenny say on her cat’s birthday every year? She would sing Happy Purr Day.
36. What did Tommy say when he was asked when his birthday was? He said every year.
37. What did the angry wife say after buying a chair as her husband’s birthday present? She just hoped it was the right voltage.
38. What are the two times of year when the alcoholic still drinks? When it is his birthday and when it is not.
39. A birth certificate is like an apology letter from the condom factory. Hopefully, not.
40. What is the only thing you are sure to get on your birthday every year? A year older.
41. What happened after the woman asked for a divorce for her birthday? Her husband said he didn’t want to spend so much money.
42. What did the birthday cake tell the ice cream? She told him how cool he was.
43. What is the easiest way to track your age? Don’t change it each year.
44. What happens after the monster lights the candles on his birthday cake? The fire department arrives.
45. What does the basketball player do before he blows out his birthday candles? He makes a swish.
46. The unhappy wife didn’t want to know why her husband didn’t get her a present. He said that she wanted to be surprised.
47. People may come and go, but birthdays accrue over time. That is certainly true!
48. Why did little Tina hit the birthday cake with her hammer? Someone told her it was a pound cake.
49. What did the elephant want for his birthday? A trunk full of gifts.
50. What does up, but never comes down? Your age.
51. How doers Moby Dick celebrate his birthday?He has a whale of a time with his friends.
52. What did the big candle tell the little birthday candle? “You’re just too young to go out.”
53. It was the sculpting teacher’s birthday, so everyone chipped in. This is a cute birthday pun.
54. Why did the little girl put a bunch of candles on the toilet? He wanted a birthday potty.
55. When is the only time you get to have your cake and eat it, too? When no one shows up for your party.
56. You know when you are getting old when you go to an antique auction and two people bid on you. That would certainly be proof.
57. Where do you buy a birthday present for your cat at? In a cat-alogue.
58. Where do snowmen put their candles? On their birthday flakes.
59. Did you know there were no famous men and women born on my birthday? It was just babies.
60. What do you tell your goldfish on his birthday? Have a truly fin-tastic day!
61. What did the Chinese parents name their son after he was born two weeks early? Sudden Lee.
62. How do pickles celebrate the moment? They really relish each second.
63. What do you buy a hunter for his birthday? A birthday pheasant.