When you have a distant boyfriend, it can be hard to figure out what to do. At first, you may think that he is just not that into you. When friends say that he genuinely loves you., you are left confused. If he loves you, why doesn’t he call ever? Why does it seem like you are the only one who talks when you are together?
If you have ever asked yourself these questions, you are not alone. Many people have dealt with this problem before, but there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Every person is unique, and every couple has a different balance. There are a number of reasons why he could be distant lately. Your first goal is to figure out why he is so distant. Once you have a general idea about why he is so distant, your next step is to find a solution.
As we mentioned before, the first step is to figure out the why. You cannot fix the problem unless you know what is causing it. We will cover some of the most common reasons why your boyfriend might be distant.
The Reasons Why You Have a Distant Boyfriend
If you have only been together for a bit, then he is still not completely comfortable with you. He has fallen hard for you, but he is not sure what to do. A part of him may be afraid that he is too needy. By texting or calling you a lot, he may push you away by being too clingy.
Another fear-related problem is due to the relationship. He may be afraid of the commitment you want from the relationship. He could also feel afraid of what will happen to him. As he falls for you, his life and happiness become more wrapped up in yours. Because of this, he may be afraid of losing his independence and taking the next step in the relationship.
Everyone reacts to stress in different ways. Sources of stress can come from relationships, work, school, friendships or family. Whatever the cause, he may react to stress by shutting down. At the very least, he may be focusing on finding a solution to the problem. Some people also use a hobby like video games or drinking to distract themselves from the stress. Whatever his reaction or coping mechanism is, it may make him seem distant to you.
If you have been together for a while, then he knows how you react to things. Are you the type of person who makes friends face their problems? Do you help people find a solution? If so, he may be avoiding you because he knows that you will make him deal with the problem instead of confronting it.
This is a common reason if you just started dating. If he is naturally shy, his distance may be because he does not know how to act. Also, he may have gotten bad dating advice. He may be worried that texting or talking to you often will make him seem too interested or needy, so he is trying to hold off. If you date him for longer, then this behavior might change.
We saved the worst one for last. While this is not always the cause, some guys do become distant because they are cheating. With that said, not all guys are distant because of cheating, so don’t jump to conclusions just yet.
What Should You Do?
If your boyfriend always seems distant, there are a few things that you should and should not do. Unless you have a reason to suspect cheating, don’t waste your time on worrying. Don’t smother him or accelerate your attentions. If he is distant because of a problem, don’t try to solve it for him. Let him solve it himself.
Right now, you need to avoid taking things personally. Most likely, his distance is due to things like stress. If that is the case, there is nothing that you are doing or not doing that is causing the distance. Don’t play mind games with him because this could end the relationship. At the very least, he will quickly realize that you are manipulative and trust you less. Just give him the support he needs. If he wants to open up to you and talk about the problem, be there for him and listen.
In the meanwhile, make sure to give him the space he needs. If he is distant because he is afraid of the commitment, a bit of space and time may be all the time it takes. Love him and stay positive. If he is just under stress, your support can make all the difference. Having a calm, optimistic partner can make it a little easier to handle the tension at work or the problems with his family. If you get a chance, plan an evening together somewhere quiet so that he has a chance to open up and talk if that is what he wants to do.