This date has been on both your schedules for a week now, and it’s finally that fateful day. You woke up feeling excited, and you texted her telling her how you look forward to seeing her today. You both have your hopes up and then…
Your boss asks you to work late.
You’ve come down with the flu.
You suddenly remembered an important errand you had to do.
Great, now you have to cancel. What can you do to tell her that you can’t make it to your date without making her think you don’t want to see her at all?
Is there any way you can just move your date to a later time?
A slightly late date is better than no date at all. If you’ve run into a slight blip at the office or you’re being held back by traffic, it’s better to just ask her if she wouldn’t mind meeting up a little later. If she’s up for it, she’s definitely a keeper. But if she’s not, then she may be the one to do the cancelling. And since you weren’t technically the one who bailed on her, you won’t seem like too much of a bad guy.
Keep in mind that whatever happens, make sure you do show up later – maybe with a better excuse but definitely on time. And if she seems a little annoyed to be meeting with you a little later than expected, make sure you bring a gift like flowers, some chocolate, or maybe a cute little trinket. Remember, you kind of wasted her time by rescheduling, so the least you could do is make it up to her.
Tell her immediately. The minute you know that you can’t make it to your date, tell her at once. You don’t need to come up with an excuse or to come up with the right words to use to explain your reason, just tell her as soon as you can. In the 10 minutes you’re hemming and hawing about exactly what to say so she won’t get mad at you, she might already be grabbing an Uber on her way to your date venue. Let her know as soon as you know you can make it, and then come up with how to explain your reason afterwards.
Apologize. No matter how good your reason for cancelling may be, you still hassled her by getting her hopes up. It doesn’t matter if she doesn’t seem all too interested in seeing you anyway, she still set aside time on her schedule to get ready and to meet you. And if that goes up in smoke, there’s no doubt she’d be annoyed. After you’ve told her why you need to cancel, apologize to her and promise her you’ll do what you can to make it up to her.
Tell her why you can’t make it. There has to be a good reason you can’t make it to your date, so let her know that too. After all, she probably spent the last couple of days thinking about this day, so she deserves an explanation for why you can’t be there with her. No matter how seemingly shallow your reason might be, just give her a good one – one that you too would accept if she were to cancel a date on you.
When telling her why you can’t make it, keep in mind how your cancellation might make her feel. She might think you never had any intentions of going out on a date with her. She might feel like you’re not even interested in her. She might think you’re an absolute jerk for telling her that your date is cancelled right when she has already booked her ride. So when you tell her why you can’t make it, consider how it would make her feel.
If it just so happens that you’re not in the mood to go out that day, don’t come up with an elaborate tale about how a tree fell on your car and your wallet got snatched by some punks at the train station. Give her a simple reason that’s simple and genuine. You can say something like “I’m sorry, I really can’t make it today because I need to do something important.” Hey, resting at home is important too! If she’s cool, she won’t press the issue. However, don’t stop at that because that’s just the first step to your last-minute cancel.
Offer to reschedule. This one goes without saying, but you have to be the one to offer to reschedule. You’ve already cancelled this date, so you should be the one to come up with the time, place, and activity for your next date. If you really want to get back in her good graces, make sure your next date venue is something she would love like that new restaurant she’s been eyeing or a gig featuring one of her favorite bands. Remember that this next date is all about her.
Make it up to her. After you’ve rescheduled your cancelled date, do a little something extra to make it up to her. Give her a bunch of flowers, write her a fun and cute apology song, or take her on a whirlwind evening date that she’s sure to enjoy. If you’re not sure about how you can make it up to her, you can always ask. She might not tell you outright what you can do to make it up to her, but you can at least glean what she would enjoy based on your conversation.
If at all possible, it’s best to cancel your date a couple of hours before you’re supposed to meet up. But there are simply some circumstances we can’t avoid. In cases like that, it’s best to know exactly how to go about cancelling a date at the last minute. The bottom line is to tell her at one, apologize, and promise to make it up to her. Who knows, you might end up having more fun at your rescheduled date!