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147 Cat Puns


Cat puns are always so much fun. While your basic cat is a serial killer in the making, there is something is unbelievably adorable about them. If you love your cat, then check out these cat puns and jokes. These go beyond the basic purr-fect meme and give you a fun way to show your love for your kitty. cat humor

Cat Puns and Jokes

1. What is a cat’s favorite song? Kelly Clarkson’s “A Mewment Like This.”

2. Why are cats so aloof? They have a lot of cat-titude.

3. Why do cats love catnip? They think that it is just claw-some.

4. Why are cats so lazy? They are the queens of pro-cat-stination.

5. Why are cats so musical? They are the best meow-sicians.

6. What do you do when a cat burglar breaks in? Call the paw-lease.

7. Why did the dog fall in love with a cat? He thought she was meow-nificent.

8. Why are cats great salesmen? They possess the power of purr-suasion.

9. Why was the cat so happy? She had a paw-sitive outlook on live.

10. What’s a kitten’s favorite day of the week? Cat-urday.

11. What is a cat’s favorite painting? A paw-trait.

12. What type of furniture does a cat get from Ikea? An assembly kit.

13. What do cats love to read? Cat-alogues.

14. What type of cats war makeup? Glamour-pusses.

15. Who brings catnip on December 25th? Santa Claws!

16. What type of cat gets whatever it wants? A purr-suasive kitty.

17. What is the term for a pile of kitties? A meow-tain.

18. What do you call a flying kitten? Im-paws-sible.

19. Do you want to read a bad cat joke? Just kitten.

20. Why couldn’t the cat stop licking itself? It was purr-verted.

21. What kind of kitten gets caught by the cops? The purr-petrator.

22. What happens when you mix a tiger and a kangaroo? A striped jumper!

23. What kind of car do cats like to drive? A Furrari.

24. What colors do cats like? Purr-ple.

25. What type of food do you give an invisible kitty? Evaporated milk.

26. Why do cats love playing video games? They always have nine lives!

27. What do you get when you mix a watchdog and a leopard? A scared mailman!

28. What did the cat say after a long night of gambling? I’m paw.

29. What happens when you mix an alley cat with a chick? A peeping tom.

30. What looks like half a kitten? The other half.

Cat Puns

31. How are sergeants and tigers the same? They both wear stripes!

32. Did you hear the story about the cat who ate a ball of yard? She ended up having a litter of mittens.

33. What happens when you mix a tiger with a snowman? You get frostbite.

34. What do you call a cat that can do tricks? A magic kit.

35. Why was the cat sleeping next to the computer? She wanted to keep an eye on the mouse.

36. What did the alien say to the kitty? Take me to your litter!

37. What vegetable do cats love to eat? As-purr-agus.

38. What do you get when you mix vinegar with a cat? A real sour-puss.

39. What do you call a cat with eight legs that loves to swim? An octo-puss.

40. What time is it when 10 kitties chase a rat? Ten after one.

41. What do cats sleep in? Paw-jamas.

42. Ten cats were in a boat, and one jumped in the water. How many were left? None because they were copycats.

43. What happens when a cat wins the dog show? A true cat-astrophy.

44. Why did everyone invite the desert lion over at Christmas? Because of his sandy claws.

45. What type of pudding do French cat’s love? Chocolate mousse.

46. What kind of cat loves the media? A press kit.

47. Why did the cat volunteer with the Red Cross? She wanted to become a first-aid kit.

48. What did the cat say after he lost his catnip? You’ve got to be kitten me.

49. What happens when you mix a tiger with a sheep? A striped sweater.

50. Did you know that cats designed the pyramids of Giza? They drew it out on paw-pyrus.

51. How did the lion say hello to the gazelles? Pleased to eat you.

52. Why couldn’t the old cat see? It suffered from cat-aracts.

53. What did the kitten do to decorate its home? It put in car-pet.

54. What do you call a cat with 100 legs? A cat-erpillar.

55. What is the unluckiest type of cat? A cat-astrophe.

56. Why couldn’t the cat watch her movie? It turned out that she had it on paws.

57. What is the only thing smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.

58. What do you call an old tomcat? A Grand-paw.

59. What do you call a kitty in a van? A car-pet.

60. How do you price cat food? Normally, purr can.

funny cat puns

61. Why did the tomcat hide from the cougar? He heard that she was on the prowl.

62. What is a kitten’s favorite song? Three Blind Mice.

63. All it takes to understand rejection in a relationship is a cat.

64. Why can a leopard never hide for long? He’s always spotted.

65. What is the difference between a comma and a cat? One is a pause at the end of a clause, and the other has claws at the end of its paws.

66. What does a kitten eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies.

67. Why did the cat flee from the tree? It was afraid of its bark.

68. What type of kitty lives in an igloo? An eski-meow.

69. What type of cat loves to go bowling? An alley cat.

70. What does a cat eat for dessert? A mice cream cone.

71. Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought it was a cheetah.

72. Nature might abhor a vacuum, but a cat hates it more.

73. How do cats make peace after a fight? They like to hiss and make up.

74. What does a cat shout when you step on its tail? Me-OW!

75. Do you know why cats are smarter than dogs? You wouldn’t see 10 cats pulling a sled in the snow.

76. Why won’t cats play poker together? There are just too many cheetahs.

77. Does anyone find it ironic that they make cat food out of every type of meat except mice?

78. What does a cat pack for vacation? Everything but the kitten sink.

79. Why did the tomcat break up with the Persian cat? He thought she wasn’t up to scratch.

80. Why did the cat sleep for hours? It wasn’t feline well today.

81. Why did the cat keep meowing? He didn’t want to be furgotten.

82. What do you call a herd of cats? Cattle.

83. What is a cat’s favorite drink? Southern Com-fur-t.

84. Why wouldn’t the kitten go to school? It heard curiosity killed the cat.

85. Why did the cat stop eating meat? She wanted to be a pure bread.

86. How do cats prepare for war? They build cat-apults.

87. Why does it take cats so long to decide on anything? Because they’ve barely scratched the surface.

88. Why did the tomcat end the relationship? He had hurt felines.

89. Why was the kitten an amazing politician? He like to tail it like it is.

90. Where do kitten models go? To the catwalk.

cat jokes

91. Why are cats so patient? They believe that only time will tail.

92. Why was the cat wary of the new dog? He had a sinking feline about him.

93. What did the banker say to the cat? Have you paid your annual fleas?

94. Why did the cat keep smiling all of the time? He didn’t want to become just an ar-cat-type.

95. Why do cats make great dates? They never kiss and tail.

96. Why are cats amazing architects? They never cat corners.

97. What is a cat’s favorite state? Connecti-cat.

98. Where does a cat buy its shoes? On the mar-cat-place.

99. Why does no one take cats seriously? Because they are always kitten.

100. How many cats can fly? None. It is simply not paw-siblle.

101. How did the cat feel after his bath? A bit worse fur wear.

102. What does a cat love to wear? A petticoat.

103. What did cat go to jail for his catnip? He was guilty of paw-session of narcotics.

104. Why wouldn’t the kitten by clothes on clearance? She was a pawsh cat.

105. Why would no one play with the kitten? She was too com-pet-itive.

106. Why do cats have long relationships? They really believe in Fur better or fur worse.

107. Why didn’t the tomcat have any options? He was neuter-al.

108. What did the cat take on her vacation? Just her pass-paw-t.

109. How do cats go grocery shopping? With coupawns.

110. Why did the kitten invest in the stock market? He thought it was a good op-purr-tunity.

111. Why did the kitten turn herself into the police? She was tired of playing cat and mouse.

112. Why was the cat given a raise? She was quite a purr-fectionist.

113. When will the cat return home? Any minute meow.

114. How do they sell cat food at the store? Buy one, get one furry.

114. What does the cat like to watch on television? Kibbly TV.

115. Why was the cat happy? She felt as furry as a bird.

116. Tabby or not tabby, that is the question.

117. Why are cats great economists? They believe that there is no such thing as a furry lunch and love furry enterprise systems.

118. Why do cats hate technology? They think that it is too mew fangled.

119. Cats hate riding in cars because it makes them too light-headed and kitty.

120. Why do cats never laugh at jokes and sarcasm? They take everything too litter-ally.

funny cat riddles

121. Why don’t you ever see kittens traveling in packs? They’re too catty to

122. Did you hear about the cat who went up in the hot air balloon? He barely lived to tell the tail.

123. What does a cat study in school? Hiss-tory.

124. What type of religion does a cat believe in? All of them. They can be Chri-hiss-tians, Cat-holics, Am-fish, Meow-mons or Budd-fish-t.

125. Why won’t psychologists treat cats? They’re just too hiss-terical.

126. Why did the cat go to rehab? It had a catnip problem.

127. Why did the cat catch mice? It was his breed and butter.

128. How did the cat like his cocktails? Shaken and on mice.

129. Why did the kitten start shaving? He started to grow long whiskers.

130. Why should you be careful when its raining cats and dogs? You could step in a poodle.

131. Why was the cat in the turtle cage at the zoo? He heard that he was a tortoiseshell.

132. What is a cat’s favorite book? Of Mice and Men.

133. Why did the police officer give the cat a fine? He caught him littering.

134. Why do cats have nine lives? Because they keep clawing their way back.

135. What does a cat do all day? Nothing—he’s a cat.

136. Why are cats terrible on vacation? They pack the whole kit and caboodle.

137. Where do cats go when they are in trouble? Claw enforcement.

138. Why was the cat so grumpy? He was just in a bad mewd.

139. Where is one place the cat can sit, but you can’t? Your lap. Just kitten—the real answer is basically anywhere the cat wants to sit, you can’t sit.

140. How many cats can you fit into an empty box? Only one. After that, the box isn’t empty anymore.

141. What do kittens read before bedtime? The Cat in the Hat.

142. What is the tomcat’s favorite Shakespeare play? The Taming of the Shrew.

143. How did the cat say good-bye? Cat-cha later!

144. What is the black cat’s favorite time of day? The witching hour.

145. Who is the ruler of all cats? The Lion King.

146. Why do cats hate dogs? They think that dogs are barking mad.

147. Why did the cat go to the casino? She was feline lucky.


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