When it comes to having a new man in your life, there’s always the pressing fear of messing it up. You never want to do something that would make him want to throw in the towel and see someone new. One thing that girls have a hard time with is being really clingy. They don’t try to be, it’s just something that happens in a new relationship.
You’re so happy with your new beau that you want to see him all the time and see what he’s up to. The problem is, you come off as clingy very often. There are ways around this, of course. If you’re in a new relationship – and even an old relationship – and you’re worried about losing them, you want to avoid being clingy. Here are all the signs of a clingy girlfriend and how you can avoid it.
How You Become a Clingy Girlfriend
Before we venture in to the signs that you’re clingy and how to avoid it, we should first address why some girlfriends are clingier than others and how you can become clingy when you never used to be.
- You’re insecure.
Insecurity has a LOT to do with being a clingy girlfriend. When you don’t feel good about yourself or the relationship, you’ll need constant reassurance and that will come across as really clingy to a man. If you’re not sure if you’re insecure, think back to a time your boyfriend was interacting with another woman. Were you mad? Then you’re insecure.
- They stop showing their affection.
Another way you become clingy is if your man stops giving you affection. This happens a lot further along in the relationship after the initial honeymoon phase is over. When your boyfriend isn’t showing their affection as much, you become desperate for it and you get clingy.
- You feel distant from them.
There are different things in our lives that can make us feel distant from the ones we love. If you’re busy with work and life and aren’t able to spend as much time as you’d like with your boyfriend, it can make you become a clingy girlfriend just to feel that connection again.
- They’ve violated your trust.
If your boyfriend did something that made you not trust them as much – like lie to you – it can make you become clingy. You fear he’ll do something like that again so instead of communicating these concerns, you become clingy and desperate for his response and reassurance. This is a deeper issue that has to be dealt with ASAP.
- Someone else has made you worried.
People talk and gossip and sometimes you’ll hear something that’ll make you concerned about your relationship. You could even read something online about how if your man isn’t doing a certain thing it means he doesn’t love you. So you overreact and become clingy as a means to hold onto your relationship when in reality, you’re not losing it.
Signs You’re a Clingy Girlfriend
If you’re not sure if your behavior falls under the “clingy” category, these will help. Here are all the signs that you’re being a really clingy girlfriend and you should be worried about upsetting your man. Learning of these can help you determine how to avoid it.
- You’re always the first to text.
This isn’t always an issue – especially if your boyfriend isn’t really the texting type. However, if you find that you’re always the first to text all day every day, it could be a sign you’re a clingy girlfriend. If you’re texting him first it means he’s usually busy and unable to talk that much. Therefore, your texts can be seen as annoying.
- You get upset when he doesn’t reply right away.
If you text him and he doesn’t reply within five minutes and you start getting angry and panicky, it’s a sign you’re a clingy girlfriend. Girlfriends who aren’t clingy don’t care how long it takes their boyfriend to respond – unless it’s something urgent. They understand that they’re busy sometimes and can’t always be on their phones.
- You want to go everywhere he goes.
Basically, you act like more of his puppy dog than like a girlfriend. You want to go wherever he goes and you even get upset when he tells you that you can’t. This is really clingy behavior and proves that you can’t just let him have his own life. If you notice you’re doing this, you need to correct it immediately.
- You never let him have “guy time”.
I hate to break it to you, ladies, but your guys need to have time to hang out with their friends – away from you. That’s right. They can have guy time without you being there and in fact, they need it. They can’t constantly be with you and in the presence of a girl all the time. So give them their time.
- You feel as though your life is empty without him right there.
I’m not talking about you liking having him in your life. That’s completely normal. But if you feel like they are your entire life and you can’t stand when they’re not around, you may have a problem. A guy should never be your whole life. If he is, you may be a clingy girlfriend.
- You lie in order to get his attention.
Only you will be able to determine if this one is a true sign. Do you lie all the time in order to get his attention? Do you tell him that you’re upset when really you’re not just so he will talk to you? If you do this, it’s a sign you’re a clingy girlfriend and you should really stop doing this. You will have his attention naturally. There’s not need to lie in order to get it.
- You won’t let him have female friends.
Are you the type of girlfriend who forbids your man to have any female friends? If so, you’re probably a clingy girlfriend. This also relates to you being very insecure. You shouldn’t feel the need to forbid your man from being friends with anyone. If you are doing this, you’re clingy, insecure, and you have issues with trust in your relationship.
- You always want to hangout with him while he’s with friends.
If you argue that you do let your man have “guy time” but you’re right there with him, it’s not the same. When you have to be with your man all the time – even when he’s just hanging with the guys – you’re clingy. You need to let him have that space so he can just be a guy without worrying about you.
- You send multiple unanswered texts a day.
Really, girl? If you’re sending a bunch of texts and never getting a response, that’s basically the definition of clingy. For starters, your man might be busy and doing something important and you’re just blowing up his phone. Secondly, what do you possibly have to talk to him about that’s so urgent you can’t wait until he has time to respond? This is very clingy behavior.
- You call over and over again until he picks up.
Just like with texts going unanswered, you’re just as clingy – probably more so – if you keep calling until you get an answer. Unless it’s an emergency and you need to get in touch with him ASAP, there’s no need to call and call and call. He’ll get back to you when he can. Stop being so clingy.
How to Avoid Being a Clingy Girlfriend
Being a clingy girlfriend is one of the worst things you can do. Everyone needs their space to breathe and live their life. If you’re always in touch with your boyfriend, you never give him the chance you miss you. Here’s how you can avoid being a clingy girlfriend so you can have a healthy relationship.
- Solve any issues you two have.
Most likely, if you’re clingy, then there are issues you and your boyfriend have to sort out. Insecurity issues, trust issues, and even more. Therefor, if you want to stop being clingy or avoid becoming that way altogether, you have to work on solving those issues so they’re not problems anymore.
- Work on your confidence.
Insecurity is a huge thing that makes girls feel clingy. You have to get rid of it and become confident in yourself if you want to avoid being that annoying girlfriend. In order to do that, you can go to the gym more, practice self love, and just talk to your friends about how you’re not liking who you are. They’ll be sure to help you feel great.
- Communicate how you feel.
You can’t have a healthy relationship without effective communication. And being a clingy girlfriend is not being in a healthy relationship. So if you want to avoid being that way, you have to talk to your man. Tell him when you need more attention and when you feel like he’s not being affectionate. When he knows these things, he can help fix them so you’re not clingy.
- Have your own life away from him.
This is the most important thing you can do to not be a clingy girlfriend. You need to have your own life. You need to have your own friends. This will not only allow you to understand his need for space, but you’ll be too busy doing your own thing to even notice that you haven’t texted him in hours.
- Remember that being clingy can ruin your relationship.
It’s hard to think about your relationship being over – especially when you care for someone so deeply. But sometimes that can help you avoid being that annoying clingy girlfriend is if you remember that being that way can actually ruin the relationship.
- Give him the space he needs.
Give your man some space. Let him have a day to himself. When you distance yourself from him, it allows him to miss you. You may even find that he becomes more affectionate and caring when you spend time apart. It may be tempting to text him when you’re giving him space, but just wait for him to contact you first sometimes.
- Vent your frustrations with your friends – not him.
Yes, you boyfriend is there to help you with your problems and give you advice, but not for every little thing you’re going through. Don’t forget about your girlfriends during times like these. If you’re always needing him for help, it can often times feel like too much for him to handle and he’ll feel like you’re being clingy.
- Don’t overreact when he can’t get to his phone.
In order to avoid being and seeming like a really clingy girlfriend, stop yourself from overreacting when he doesn’t respond to your calls or texts. There are tons of reasons why it might take him a while to get back to you and if you freak out too soon, it can seem really annoying to him. He doesn’t want a girlfriend who jumps to conclusions when he gets busy.
- Let him miss you.
This is crucial for a healthy relationship. You have to allow him to recognize your absence. He has to miss you from time to time. When you give him space so he can actually miss you, you’re giving him opportunities to be affectionate and caring toward you – something you need in order to avoid being clingy.
- Remember that you two have separate lives that come together – not conjoined lives.
Your lives are separate and you’re choosing to bring them together. Just because you’re a couple doesn’t mean your life is now conjoined and they have to tell you about every little thing and where they are or what they’re doing at all times. Remembering this can help you avoid being clingy.
Being a clingy girlfriend is something a lot of women don’t realize they’re being. Luckily, we have these signs you’re being clingy along with tips on how to avoid it. Now stop being a clingy girlfriend and start being an amazing one.