If a woman has asked you to be her cuddle buddy, you probably said yes thinking that maybe there’s a chance to get to know her and maybe have casual sex. Or maybe you just really want to be able to connect with someone else on a non-sexual level – we all have different needs. But before you agree to be someone’s cuddle buddy, you need to know the rules. Yes, the rules. Who thought being a cuddle buddy could be so complicated. But it’s not complicated, these rules are in place to protect the both of you. So, here are the 13 rules every guy should know before they become a cuddle buddy.
Cuddle buddy isn’t a code word for sex
If you’re going into this thinking that she offered this to you because she wants to have sex with you, you’re wrong. Sure, some women do that. However, if she really only wants a cuddle buddy, she’s going to tell you. If you get a little handsy, she’ll also put you back into your place or just end it all together. So, if you’re thinking cuddle buddy is a code word for sex, think again. You may want to look for friends with benefits instead.
Be honest with yourself
You need to be honest with yourself and your reasoning for why you’re doing this. If you’re doing this as a way to get to her, it’s not the best and may backfire. If you’re doing this because you want a non-sexual intimate moment, then that’s totally fine and encouraged! So, before you go into this, really look at why you want this and if it’s the right move for you. If it’s not, then don’t do it.
Understand she isn’t your girlfriend
She isn’t your girlfriend. You don’t have any claim on her. If you like her, ask her out. However, if not and you see her out with another guy/girl, don’t become jealous. You two have a strict cuddle buddy agreement that you agreed to, so if anything, you wanted this. Now if something inside you changes, you need to tell them. But until then, you need to understand and accept that she isn’t yours.
Cuddle sessions only. Having sleepovers is not a good idea. You want to keep your cuddle buddy only for cuddle sessions. Having sleepovers only makes the situation more grey than black and white. So, you need to make this rule very clear ahead of time and they need to understand why it’s a rule. Now if there’s a snow storm or some unusual circumstance, then you can make an exception, but don’t be known for always bending the rules.
Keep your hands to yourself
If your hands are wandering, you’re no longer a cuddle buddy. You need to be respectful and keep your hands in appropriate areas. Having them on their butt or crotch area isn’t a good idea. Keep your hands above the covers and you’ll be fine. If your hands are starting to wander then you need to see if this is the right cuddle buddy for you.
If your ex asked you to be her cuddle buddy, say no
Having you ex as your cuddle buddy isn’t a good idea. You two were sexually intimate with each other, so going to a non-sexual activity isn’t going to work. You two will have sex. If that’s what you want, don’t ask them to be your cuddle buddy, it’s not going to end well. So, pick someone else who you haven’t had sex with and aren’t planning to. If your ex is asking you to be their cuddle buddy, you need to really look at why they’re asking you.
Don’t do this just because you like her
If you’re cuddling with this person because you like her, this isn’t going to end well for you. If they asked you to be their cuddle buddy, they probably don’t see you as someone they want to be with sexually. In that case, you need to know how you feel and not do it simply because it’s them. You can find someone else to cuddle with and not feel horrible during it. Cuddling is supposed to make you feel good, not bad.
If you’re starting to feel more, tell her
You need to be completely honest with this person. Cuddling may not be sexual, however, it’s extremely intimate, so developing feelings is entirely possible. If this happens, you need to express your feelings to them. Can you imagine cuddling someone you like week after week and keeping that information from them? It’s torture. Don’t torture yourself, just be honest.
Know when you pull the plug
If you’re starting to develop feelings for this person or vice versa, you need to know when to call it quits. You need to be mindful of not only your feelings but their feelings as well. If they’re starting to like you, but you don’t feel the same, holding them in your arms isn’t doing anyone any good. So, you have to be mature about the situation and know when to end things.
Don’t do anything date-like
Don’t ask this person out for a movie or dinner. This isn’t a cuddle buddy relationship then. This is moving into choppy waters. If they’re your cuddle buddy, keep them as such. If you enjoy spending time with them, then you need to tell them how you feel so that you also know how they feel. You like them, don’t waste your time, tell them. But in the mean, keep dinner dates and movies for someone else. If she asked you to be a cuddle buddy, you’re already removed as a dating option in her eyes.
You don’t need to text her outside of cuddle buddy hours
Now if you two were friends prior, of course, you’ll talk to each other. But if you only know this person for cuddling, then you’re under no obligation to call or text them outside of arranging a cuddle session. If you’re finding yourself talking to them all the time about non-cuddling related topics, well then you probably like them. But, don’t feel obliged to have to make small talk with them outside of cuddling.
You can date other people
If you have a cuddle buddy this doesn’t mean anything. This is a non-sexual relationship you have with someone. So, you’re free to date people. If you start to casually date someone, you simply need to tell your cuddle buddy the update and end the relationship. You can always go back to your cuddle buddy, there are not sexual ties, so it’s not taboo. Now, if you’re not wanting to date other people because of your cuddle buddy, you need to do a check with your feelings.
If you have sex, talk about it
We’re only human and after some time, maybe you two have sex. It could happen, let’s not rule it out. So, if this does happen, you’re going to have to talk about it. What’s going to happen next? This is no longer a platonic cuddle buddy relationship. Once sex is involved, it changes everything. Are you two going to continue to have sex or end the relationship altogether? Because once you have sex, going back to strictly cuddling isn’t going to happen.
Now that you know what the rules are for cuddle buddy relationships, follow them. You may not think you’ll need these rules, but with time, you’ll realize how important rules are with these type of relationships. If your feelings change, you have to either end the relationship or tell that person how you feel. Cuddle buddy relationships only work if you’re honest with yourself and what you need. So, follow your gut instinct and enjoy having a cuddle buddy.