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Do Guys Mean What They Say When They Are Drunk?

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You went out to a party with your friends. While you were there, you ran into a guy from your college class. You had flirted with him a bit at school, but you never thought that he was actually interested in you. As soon as you see him at the party, you realize that he is completely drunk. He tells you how pretty you are or that he has a secret crush on you. Now, you want to know, “Do guys mean what they say when they are drunk?” While it is not the case 100 percent of the time, they generally do.

There is an old saying, “In vino veritas.” Basically, it means that in wine, there is truth. When you are drunk, you actually tend to tell the truth. Alcohol lowers your inhibitions, so it makes you more likely to behave badly or say awful things because the normal barriers in your mind are not there anymore. The same inhibitions mean that you are more likely to tell the truth. Your cognitive control is gone, so it is hard for you to saw anything other than the truth.

Alcohol has been found to dim the alarm signal in the mind that alerts you when you are making a mistake. It essentially reduces your self-control so that you say things that you never would normally. While this may mean that a guy might say something hurtful to his girlfriend, it also means that he might just lose enough of his inhibitions to tell his crush how he feels.

Research Shows: In Alcohol, There Is Truth

In one research study, alcoholic beverages were given to a third of a group. Another third received no alcohol, an the last third received a placebo drink. Afterward, the participants did a computer challenge that was deliberately made to cause errors. As you might expect, the people who drank alcohol were less alarmed. Even the placebo group had slightly less weaker alarm response than normal. All three of the groups were self-aware of their mistakes, but it was only the alcohol group that really did not care.

Basically, alcohol makes it so that you care less about your mistakes or whether what you are doing is right or wrong. This might be why guys tend to text a lot when they are drunk. Drunk dialing is a chance for them to confess their emotions or to feel more confident in talking to someone else. There is a reason alcohol is called “liquid courage.” Whether we like it or not, alcohol makes us feel confident and empowered enough to do stupid things.

When you are drunk, your inhibitions are down and your reaction time slows down. This means that your mouth is talking before your reaction time and inhibitions can catch up. You say what is on your mind before you even realize that it was a mistake. And when you are drunk enough, you won’t even care if what you said was a mistake or not.



So, Does He Mean What He Says?

While he might to mean exactly what he says while he is drunk, it is most likely based on the truth. If he confessed how attractive you are or that he has feelings for you, then he probably does. He might not want to make you a girlfriend, but you can safely assume that he is attracted to you on some level.

Unfortunately, the same logic works if your boyfriend said something awful to you while he was drunk. He might not have meant it 100 percent, but there is a kernel of truth to what he said. If he said he wants to break up with you, then the emotion is most likely genuine. Once he has sobered up, he might think of a logical reason why he wants to stay or be afraid to actually break up with you. The underlying feeling is still there though, so you should listen to it and act on it. You don’t have to break up with him, but you definitely want to take some steps to fix the relationship before it is too late.

When someone is drunk, the connections between the ventral striatium and the prefrontal cortex are affected. This is why people do impulsive thinks when they drink and make bad decisions. This leads drunk people to do stupid things like take off their clothes or saying things that they shouldn’t.

Unfortunately, alcohol can also make you moodier than normal. The kernels of truth in your drunk statements might be based on fact, but the emotion behind them could be entirely because of the alcohol. When a guy tells you something when he is drunk, listen to him. The emotion might be from drinking and the exaggerations are certainly fueled by alcohol, but the underlying feeling is true.

4 COMMENTS

  1. I’ve been talking tonthis guy for over 7 months and while he’s sober im.just a friend and he doenst want a relationship he only wants to be intimate. Well he recently told me while he was completely wasted that he loves me and that he only wanted me for himself. I don’t know what to do

    • He may be interested in developing a relationship with you. He may only be interested in developing a physical relationship with you. Take this time to determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Maria!

  2. So…when the guy talking to makes it a specific point to text me when he’s drinking I should pay attention and not brush it off? I’ve been talking to him for awhile now. A LOT of that where I only saw him once a week. I’ve been texting with him almost daily. But when he’s out with his friends drinking or even at the bar he texts me. So I’m not imagining that this means something in some kind of positive light?

    • It is certainly possible that he is interested in developing a relationship with you. His alcohol consumption may make him feel more comfortable reaching out to you. Take this time to determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Lara!

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