Home Love & Relationship Do Guys Mean What They Say When They Are Drunk?

Do Guys Mean What They Say When They Are Drunk?

767
14
SHARE

You went out to a party with your friends. While you were there, you ran into a guy from your college class. You had flirted with him a bit at school, but you never thought that he was actually interested in you. As soon as you see him at the party, you realize that he is completely drunk. He tells you how pretty you are or that he has a secret crush on you. Now, you want to know, “Do guys mean what they say when they are drunk?” While it is not the case 100 percent of the time, they generally do.

There is an old saying, “In vino veritas.” Basically, it means that in wine, there is truth. When you are drunk, you actually tend to tell the truth. Alcohol lowers your inhibitions, so it makes you more likely to behave badly or say awful things because the normal barriers in your mind are not there anymore. The same inhibitions mean that you are more likely to tell the truth. Your cognitive control is gone, so it is hard for you to saw anything other than the truth.

Alcohol has been found to dim the alarm signal in the mind that alerts you when you are making a mistake. It essentially reduces your self-control so that you say things that you never would normally. While this may mean that a guy might say something hurtful to his girlfriend, it also means that he might just lose enough of his inhibitions to tell his crush how he feels.

Research Shows: In Alcohol, There Is Truth

In one research study, alcoholic beverages were given to a third of a group. Another third received no alcohol, an the last third received a placebo drink. Afterward, the participants did a computer challenge that was deliberately made to cause errors. As you might expect, the people who drank alcohol were less alarmed. Even the placebo group had slightly less weaker alarm response than normal. All three of the groups were self-aware of their mistakes, but it was only the alcohol group that really did not care.

Basically, alcohol makes it so that you care less about your mistakes or whether what you are doing is right or wrong. This might be why guys tend to text a lot when they are drunk. Drunk dialing is a chance for them to confess their emotions or to feel more confident in talking to someone else. There is a reason alcohol is called “liquid courage.” Whether we like it or not, alcohol makes us feel confident and empowered enough to do stupid things.

When you are drunk, your inhibitions are down and your reaction time slows down. This means that your mouth is talking before your reaction time and inhibitions can catch up. You say what is on your mind before you even realize that it was a mistake. And when you are drunk enough, you won’t even care if what you said was a mistake or not.



So, Does He Mean What He Says?

While he might to mean exactly what he says while he is drunk, it is most likely based on the truth. If he confessed how attractive you are or that he has feelings for you, then he probably does. He might not want to make you a girlfriend, but you can safely assume that he is attracted to you on some level.

Unfortunately, the same logic works if your boyfriend said something awful to you while he was drunk. He might not have meant it 100 percent, but there is a kernel of truth to what he said. If he said he wants to break up with you, then the emotion is most likely genuine. Once he has sobered up, he might think of a logical reason why he wants to stay or be afraid to actually break up with you. The underlying feeling is still there though, so you should listen to it and act on it. You don’t have to break up with him, but you definitely want to take some steps to fix the relationship before it is too late.

When someone is drunk, the connections between the ventral striatium and the prefrontal cortex are affected. This is why people do impulsive thinks when they drink and make bad decisions. This leads drunk people to do stupid things like take off their clothes or saying things that they shouldn’t.

Unfortunately, alcohol can also make you moodier than normal. The kernels of truth in your drunk statements might be based on fact, but the emotion behind them could be entirely because of the alcohol. When a guy tells you something when he is drunk, listen to him. The emotion might be from drinking and the exaggerations are certainly fueled by alcohol, but the underlying feeling is true.

14 COMMENTS

  1. I’ve been talking tonthis guy for over 7 months and while he’s sober im.just a friend and he doenst want a relationship he only wants to be intimate. Well he recently told me while he was completely wasted that he loves me and that he only wanted me for himself. I don’t know what to do

    • He may be interested in developing a relationship with you. He may only be interested in developing a physical relationship with you. Take this time to determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Maria!

  2. So…when the guy talking to makes it a specific point to text me when he’s drinking I should pay attention and not brush it off? I’ve been talking to him for awhile now. A LOT of that where I only saw him once a week. I’ve been texting with him almost daily. But when he’s out with his friends drinking or even at the bar he texts me. So I’m not imagining that this means something in some kind of positive light?

    • It is certainly possible that he is interested in developing a relationship with you. His alcohol consumption may make him feel more comfortable reaching out to you. Take this time to determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Lara!

  3. This guy i met we became friends and he offered to be my first kiss as a favour for a favour, i said sure knowing it wouldnt happen, then one night he and a few ppl were over at my house and we drank and we got a bit drunk and then we made out a few times and he said he he wouldnt mind being in a relationship with me and that he has feelings for me. But idk if he meant it cause he was drunkish and we have been having regular conversations but neither of us have brought up that night

    • He has shared his thoughts and feelings with you. He is interested in nourishing a relationship with you. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Lex!

  4. I have been talking to this guy for a while now we have spoken about being in a relationship (both sober) but we both agreed to put it on hold and wait for the right time as it would be a long distance thing…..but whenever i tell him i miss him he sort of just brushes it off and says something else he has said it once or twice before but was blunt i guess, anyway he went out last night and got completely wasted (he txtd me first as i’m the one always txting him in the first place) and told me he misses me twice. Im sort of confused as he won’t really say it sober but when he is drunk he will.

    • It is possible that he feels a strong emotional connection with you. It is possible that he is interested in developing a relationship with you. Determine what you think is viable and appropriate. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Tira!

  5. So I have liked this guy for a bit now. Sometimes, the guy can be rude to me but other times he’s actually quite nice. On a recent night out with him and other friends, he told them that he liked me but was scared because we work with each other. I then text him a few days after and he said that he doesn’t like me. People at work think me and the guy I like are a couple which doesn’t make things any easier.

    • He is likely confused or uncertain about his feelings. When he shared his feelings with your friends, he may have been hoping that you would share your interest in him as well. He may have said that he was not interested in developing a relationship with you to protect his emotions. If you want to develop a relationship with him, then speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Erin!

  6. This guy that I’ve been hanging out with for the past couple months gives me crazy mixed signals. We have spent almost 5 months with each other and he has me spend the night st his house every weekend, introduces me to friends, etc. I’ve had strong feelings for him for awhile but he tells me he adores me but he doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now. The other night we were just laying together and he looked at me and told me that he loves me. He was drunk though. But once he started to sober up I asked him when did you realize you loved me and he said it’s hard to explain but then today he told me Love is a strong and serious statement and he’s not in condition of being in Love right now.

    • He feels a strong emotional connection with you. He may be unable or unwilling to nourish a relationship with you. It is possible that he does not want to harm you through his alcohol abuse. His feelings may change over time. Determine what you want for your future, and speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Court!

  7. So I’ve been freinds with this guy for a year now off and on but sometimes when he’s drunk he calls me and repeatibely tells me he loves me this last time he called me he told me that the first time he saw me he knew I was the one and that he loved me and misses me asked me if I was looking for a bf and he was trying to drive 5 hours just to see me but in person when he’s sober he acts like he’s scared to death of me but comes to family dinner almost every Sunday I’m trying to figure out what he wants but he keeps giving me confused mixed signals so I don’t ever know how I react

    • He is interested in developing a relationship with you. He is likely extremely shy. He may be uncertain or confused about your feelings toward him. His alcohol use has caused him to reach out to you. Determine what you want for your future. Decide what you believe is appropriate regarding the behaviors of your future partner and your relationship. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Brooke!

LEAVE A REPLY