Renown as man’s best friend, the dog remains one of the most popular pets in the world. If you want to show your pooch a little love, we have compiled a list of dog puns to get you started with. These range from jokes to play on words. You can also use this list to inspire your own dog puns and jokes!
1. What kind of clothes does a pet puppy wear? A petticoat, of course!
2. What happens when a dog swallows a ball? You get ballshit.
3. Why should you be cautious when it is raining cats and dogs? If you don’t watch out, you could step in a poodle.
4. What did the dog tell the flea? Stop bugging me!
5. My dog’s so smart. I asked him what was on top of the house, and he said, “Roof, roof!”
6. What do you get when you breed an Australian dog and a Beatle? Dingo Starr!
7. When does a dog say “Meow”? When it is trying to learn a new language!
8. What do you call a dog without legs? It won’t matter because he can’t come anyway.
9. They said my dog was fat, but he’s not. He’s just a little husky.
10. What is the one kind of dog that you can eat? A hot dog!
11. Why type of dog likes baths? A shampoodle!
12. Did you hear the one about a dog who kept talking like a horse? I heard it was a real dog and pony show.
13. What do you call a dog who does magic? A labracadabrador.
14. What type of dog loves to use the toilet? A poo-dle!
15. Why did the poor puppy chase his tail? He just wanted to make ends meet!
16. What did the cowboy tell the cougar who ate his dog? Well, doggone!
17. What type of dog does Dracula have? A bloodhound.
18. What do you call a puppy who was left outside in the cold? A pup-sicle!
19. Why can’t a dog use the television remote? Because he’ll keep hitting the paws button.
20. What do you get when you breed a cocker spaniel, poodle and rooster together? A cocker-poodle-doo!
21. How do you know if your dog is dumb? He chases parked cars.
22. What type of dog will chase after anything red? A bulldog!
23. What did the kitten say to the puppy? Check meow-t!
24. What do you get when you mix a puppy and a matador? A cocker Spaniard!
25. What type of sale did the pet store run this week? Buy one dog, get one flea!
26. What type of dog has surround sound? A sub-woofer.
27. Where will you find a dog without legs? Exactly where you left him.
28. What do you get if you mix a cheetah and a dog? A pet that can chase cars and catch them!
29. What time is it when 10 puppies chase one kitten? 10 after 1.
30. What do you feed a dog for breakfast? Pooched eggs.
31. What is a dog’s favorite pastime? Collecting fleas.
32. Where do dogs go if their tails fall off? A re-tail store.
33. What do you call a puppy that likes licking electrical sockets? Sparky.
34. What sport do dogs love? Formula 1 Drooling.
35. I can’t figure out what is going on with my dog. I really want to shed some light on the issue.
36. Why is a do like a smartphone? They have Collar ID.
37. What is the name of the world’s best dog detective? Sherlock Bones.
38. What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? A true cat-tastrophy.
39. What did the skeleton tell the puppy at dinner? Bone Appetit.
40. What do you call a puppy during the wintertime? A chili dog.
41. What did the dog tell the sandpaper? Ruff, ruff!
42. Why did the Dalmatian see the eye doctor? He couldn’t stop seeing spots.
43. What do you have to do when a dog chews up your dictionary? You have to take the words right out of his mouth.
44. How do fleas go from place to place? They go itch-hiking.
45. Why do puppies run in a circle? Because it is too hard to run in squares.
46. What is a puppy’s favorite Pink Floyd album? The Bark Side of the Moon.
47. What happens when you take a large dog on a walk? A Great Dane out.
48. Have you heard the book about raising puppies? It’s a great pup-up book.
49. Why did the dog try to bury himself in the front yard? He heard you can’t grow a tree without any bark.
50. Why did the dog sleep under the van? Because he needed to wake up oily.
51. What is the only thing more shocking than a talking dog? A spelling bee.
52. What happens when a dog only eats garlic? His bark is worse than his bite!
53. What type of pizza do dogs love to eat? Puperoni.
54. What do you get when you breed a lion and a dog? A scared mailman!
55. What do you get when you breed a shih tzu and a bulldog? Bullshit.
56. What do you call the quickest dog in the world? A Labraghini.
57. What can you do if your puppy is lost in the forest? Lean your ear against a tree and hear the bark.
58. Where do dogs like to sleep? Within the barking lot.
59. Why are cats scared of trees? Because of the bark.
60. What do you call a dog when he has a fever? A hot dog.
61. Why type of dog has a Rolex? A watch dog.
62. Why did the snow man name his puppy Frost? Because Frost bites.
63. If you are going camping with a dog, you better bring along a pup tent.
64. My puppy had to see the dentist because his canines were hurting. I hope his Lab reports are okay.
65. What do you call a frozen dog on a rabbit? A chili dog on a bun.
66. What did the dog tell the tree? Bark.
67. Why are dogs never smooth talkers? Because they always say “Ruff, ruff.”
68. Why did the dog like to stay in the shade? He didn’t want to become a hot dog.
69. Before the next Jeopardy game, I have to bone up on trivia. If I win, I’ll watch out for the puparazzi.
70. What type of dog knows how to tell time? A watch dog.
71. Where does a Mastiff sit in the movie theater? Anywhere he wants to.
72. The pup’s girlfriend calls every hour to check in. She keeps him on a short leash.
73. Why won’t a dog stand up for himself? He always rolls over.
74. Why are dogs terrible dancers? Because they have to dance with two left feet!
75. What does a dog like to eat for dessert? Pup-cakes!
76. What does a dog get after he completes obedience school? She gets her pet-degree.
77. Why did the puppy cross the road? To go to the barking lot.
78. What is a dog’s best career field? Bark-eology.
79. What did the starving Dalmation say after eating his food? That really hit the spot!
80. What type of dog breed loves to laugh at jokes? A Chi-ha-ha!
81. What did one flea tell the other flea? Do you want to walk or hop a dog?
82. Why do poodles love kayaking? They are good at the doggie paddle.
83. Why did the bad dog tell the cop? You’re barking up the wrong tree.
84. What did the angry mom say when the puppy pooped in her shoes? I gotta throw the doggie out the window!
85. Why was the dog making a pros and cons list? He was con-fused!
86. Why do you get if you mix a telephone with a gold-colored dog? A golden receiver.
87. How did the Scottish dog feel when he saw a ghost? Terrier-fied!
88. What do you get if you breed a hyena and a Rottweiller? I don’t know, but I’d laugh at all its jokes!
89. What do you do when the mailmen apologizes for breaking your things? Call off the dogs.
90. What type of dog likes to wear contact lenses? A cock-eyed spaniel..
91. When the little Japanese dog bit a guy, the owner scared the shitzu out of him.
92. Who is the best dog composer of all time? Johann Sebastian Bark.
93. A three-legged dog walked into a bar. He says,”I’m looking for the fella who shot my paw.”
94. What happens when you mix a racing dog with a bumblebee? A Greyhound Buzz.
95. What happens when you mix a calculator and a puppy? A friend you can count on.
96. What happens when you mix a sheepdog and a rose? A collie-flower.
97. Which comedian do dogs love? Growlcho Marx.
98. Why didn’t the dog talk to his foot? Because you’re not supposed to talk back to your paw.
99. What happened when the dog swallowed the firefly? It barked from de-light.
100. What is a black Eskimo dog called? A dusky husky.
101. What happened when the dog bought tickets to the flea circus? He stole the show.
102. A girl was walking her dog when an officer stopped her for the dog’s license. She told him her dog was just seven, so he couldn’t drive.
103. Why did the dog have to cross the street two times? He wanted to fetch a boomerang.
104. When I went to the zoo, there was just one animal. It was a shitzu.
105. Honey, you are like a cute puppy at an animal shelter because I want to take you home.
106. What do you call a big dog that likes to meditate? An aware wolf.
107. How are dogs and marine biologists similar? One tags a whale and the other wags a tail.
108. What instrument do dogs play? A trombone.
109. Why do blind people go sky diving? Because it scares the dog.
110. Why do storytellers and puppies have in common? They both have tails!
111. What do you call a dog that works inside? A pet project.
112. What happens when the dog chases the cat onto a geyser? It rains cats and dogs.
113. What is a puppy’s favorite food? Anything on your plate!
114. What type of puppy can leap higher than a tree? Any dog because trees can’t jump.
115. What type of dog do you eat? A sausage dog!
116. Why did the puppy bring toilet paper to the birthday party? He was a party pooper.
117. What happens when you breed a dog and a frog? A croaker spaniel.
118. What kind of dog loves to live in the city? A New Yorkie.
119. Why did the dog keep sweating? She was a hot dog.
120. Where should you never take your dog shopping? A flea market!
121. What kind of dog is super quiet? A hush puppy.
122. Why did the puppy quit his job? It was a dog eat dog world.
123. Why would the magician only hire puppies? Because you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.
124. Why did the mailman carry a phone? He wanted to call off the dogs.
125. Why did the dog buy sandpaper? He was a bit ruff around the edges.
126. Why did the large dog give up his new hobby? It was a mastiff waste of time.
127. Why did the puppy take the easy way out? He liked the path of leashed resistance.
128. Why did the dog share his dinner? It was the leashed he could do.
129. What did the puppy say after losing the race? I’m last, but not leashed.
130. Why do bloodhounds make terrible boyfriends? They keep hounding you.
131. What does one puppy say to the other? What’s up, dog?
132. What do you call a big dog in a wool sweater? A wolf in sheep’s clothing.
133. Why was the dog a dictator? He believed mutt makes right.
134. Why do dogs make terrible priests? They’re too dogmatic.
135. Why did the charity keep getting dogs? People heard that they wanted monthly dalmatians.
136. Why did the small dog tell bad jokes? Because his puns were so corgi.
137. Why did the puppy fall in love with the terrier? He thought she was very fetching.
138. Why was was the dog hired to manage a factory? Because he could get it pup and running in no time.
139. Why did the pug have no friends? Because he was a square pug in a round hole.
140. Where did the sheepdog live? On the border of Collie-fornia.