You see your friend marrying someone who they don’t necessarily love, but this person is financially stable. You may have seen really old men with a young woman attached to their arm, calling them baby. Well, there’s a name for this, it’s called hypergamy. This practice occurs in both men and women and isn’t associated with sexual orientation or preferences. Basically, this practice is open for anyone to use. Hypergamy is when a person marries another individual of a higher social status than their own. So, for example, if you don’t have much money to your name, however, marry someone who is quite wealthy, this is called hypergamy. Now, if you reverse the role and marry someone who is of a lower social status than you, it’s called hypogamy. Though it’s not as much of a common practice anymore, hypergamy has been around throughout history and has been practised in India, America, Europe, China, ancient Greece and the Ottoman Empire. Like I said, there was a time where everyone was doing it. We’re going to focus on female hypergamy and get to the truth of it.
Historically, this wasn’t based on being a “gold digger”
Nowadays, when we see a young woman with an old man, we automatically call them a gold digger, seeing them as someone who is only with that person for financial gain. However, hypergamy throughout history was biologically based. When trying to find a mate, women are looking for a man that will be a provider for them and their child. This isn’t necessarily conscious, it’s bred in us to find the best match not only for strong offspring but to increase the chance of survival.
As equality increase, hypergamy decreases
Equality between the sexes has come along way if you compare it to centuries ago. In many kingdoms and states, a woman had no one else to rely on other than a man. When they were married off to their husbands, that was their sole provider. Globally, women were not providers but rather caregivers. However, now that the equality between men and women are increasing, women are able to work and be dependant on themselves rather than a man. Thus, it’s less likely now for a woman to strive to be with a man due to their financial success. Women are now about to succeed in society without the hand of a man, thus, they don’t need you to be of a higher class.
If society practices equality, then why is hypergamy still around?
Good question. Well, this is assuming that there is complete, 100% equality within society, which isn’t true. I did say that equality is increasing in modern day society and it is, however, we’re still not at the level where men and women are on the same playing field. Thus, until then, there will be women from lower socio-economic statues that are trying to get out of their economic situation. Now they have a couple ways to get themselves out of their living standard. They can work and try to push themselves up the socio-economic ladder that way, and/or they can marry someone of a higher socio-economic status, thus, getting themselves out of their current living situation. As long as poverty and disadvantaged communities exist, hypergamy will exist.
Women are not only looking at the bank account
Many people assume that women who are married to older, more financially secure men are only concerned about the amount of money in their bank account. This isn’t true. Attraction cannot be built on how much money someone has. Of course, it obviously doesn’t hurt when you find out someone you’re dating is financially secure, however, that isn’t the only selling feature. Attraction is much more complex than that. If you think women only care about money, well, it’s like saying men only care about what size your boobs are. See what I mean? What women are actually looking for is a man who’s confident, ambitious, and charismatic. Though he may have wealth, what women really see is a man who strives for the best, that’s where the turn-on lies.
Don’t have the wealth? Don’t worry
Many guys, obviously, want an attractive and beautiful girlfriend, however, don’t think they’re capable because they don’t have the money to back themselves. Listen, it’s really not about the money. What are you doing to make yourself be desirable to women? If you’re sitting at home on your couch after the fourth day of not showering, well, that could be the answer as to why you’re not really doing well in the dating world. The problem is with many men is that they assume women only want money – that’s not the case. Most women are unable to be in a relationship, a functioning relationship, with someone they’re not physically attracted to. So, let’s look beyond the money. What do women really look for in a potential man? They’re looking for men who are ambitious, confident, decisive and mentally strong. They’re all looking for attributes which they feel would provide them and their children security. This doesn’t have to mean financial security, but they want to know that if one day you lose everything, you’ll fight back.
How to elevate yourself
If you want to be one of those guys that get the girl of his dreams, then you need to play the part. No, you don’t need to change you who are and become an entirely different person. You just need to love yourself. It’s really that simple, self-love is everything. So, the only way to work on self-love is to focus on yourself. It sounds easy, but it’s not. You need to really look at who you are, your flaws and your good qualities. Your qualities, both good and bad, are who make you who you are. So, what do you need to do to be the best version of you?
Workout: This isn’t so that you can have a six-pack, this is so that you keep your body in good health and that you remove stress from your body. If you want the six-pack, then work for it, but you need to have one to get what you want.
Read: You need to exercise your mind. Read a book, an article, it doesn’t matter, it just has to be something that makes you think. We’re so attached to our phones that we forget what’s really important, our minds. Don’t get sucked into social media, pick up a book.
Go out: You need to go out with your friends. If you meet a girl, great, but you shouldn’t go with the expectation of meeting someone. What you need to do is go out to have a good time and socialize. You can chat with different and see what kind of girl you’re actually looking for in your life.
Cook for yourself: Many men don’t cook but this is wrong. There is something very emotionally satisfying about being able to cook well for yourself. It’s a sign of independence and inner strength. You’re not relying on a woman to cook you three meals a day, you’re showing yourself that you’re capable of taking care of yourself, which is a sign of confidence.
Don’t run away: If you see a woman who you think is out of your league, don’t back down. Who decided she was out of your league? You did. If you woman who’s looking for the best man, then you need to be that man. Be confident, be yourself, show her what she’s missing without you by her side.
Female hypergamy is alive and well. If you’re not a fan of this, if you feel that this is unfair for men and women, then you need to take a stand for equality of the genders. However, until things start to change within society, take some of these pointers of what women are really looking for and apply them to your life. Those some women are looking for a better life, it doesn’t always have to equate with money. You know the saying, money can’t buy you happiness.