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170 Fish Puns

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Something is certainly fishy about these fish puns and jokes. Whether you just need fish puns for your favorite meme or just love fishing-related jokes, the following ideas will get you started. Fish puns are fairly easy to make, so you can also use this list to inspire your own puns.

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Fish Puns

1. Two starlings are sitting on a perch. One bird turns to the other and says, “Can you smell fish?”

2. Why wouldn’t the crab share all of her toys? She was too shellfish!

3. Why are fish always so smart? They always live in schools!

4. How do fish make phone calls? With a shell-phone!

5. Why did the fish start to blush? Because the sea-weed.

6. Why did the bluefish blue? Because the blowfish didn’t.

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7. What did the guppy say when she ran into a concrete wall? Oh, dam!

8. What is the best way to talk with a catfish? Drop it a line!

9. What do you get when you breed a trout with an abbot? You get a monkfish!

10. What is the laziest fish in the entire world? The kipper.

11. Why is it so easy to weight a fish? Because it always has its own scales.

12. Why do fish like to eat worms all the time? Because they are totally hooked on them.

13. How can you tune a fish? You can tuna fish using its scales.

14. Where does a fish store all of its money? In the river bank.



15. What is the difference between a piano and a fish? You can’t tuna fish.

16. Why did the fish start to blush? Because he saw the boat’s bottom.

17. What type of fish can do operations? A sturgeon.

18. What is the King of Russia’s favorite fish to eat? Tsardines.

19. What did the fish tell her boyfriend? Your plaice or mine?

20. Why did the fish live at the bottom of the ocean? She dropped out of school.

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21. What type of fish is the most famous serial killer? Jack the Kipper.

22. What is an eel’s favorite dance? He likes to do the conger.

23. What did the fish say when her boyfriend broke up with her? I’m out of this plaice!

24. How do avoid an infection from biting piranhas? Don’t bite them.

25. What does a fish wear on its shoulders to stay warm at night? A shoal!

26. What has a tail, scales, sharp teeth and a trunk? A pike heading out on a vacation.

27. Lady: Is this river any good for fish? Fisherman: It must be because I can’t make any of them leave it.

28. What was the fisherman always so stingy? Because his work made him sell-fish.

29. I only fish on days that end in “Y”. I think that most fishermen will agree with this fish pun.

30. What fish travels up river at 100 miles per hour? A motor pike!

31. What do you call it when a fish has no eye? A fsh.

32. Which fish are the fastest ones in the entire river? A motorpike and side-carp.

33. What do you call a man who has a large flatfish on the top of his head? Ray.

34. Where do fish go to borrow money? They go to the prawn broker!

35. Why did the fish have his knees broken? He owed money to the loan shark.

36. Did you hear about the big fight at the seafood restaurant? Four fish were battered.

37. Where do little fish go each day? They go to plaiceschool.

38. Where do fish take their baths? In the river basin.

39. Which fish go to heaven after they die? Angelfish.

40. What side of the fish contains the most scales? The outside.

funny fish puns

41. What is the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a scum-sucking, bottom-dwelling scavenger and the other is just a fish.

42. What kind of fish is known for writing books? Salmon Rushdie.

43. What type of money do fishmongers make? Net profits.

44. How do you keep a fish from smelling? Chop off its nose.

45. What swims in the ocean, has a machine gun and always makes offers that you can never refuse? The Codfather.

46. Where did Noah store all of his fish? In a multi-story carp ark.

47. Who does the fish turn to when his piano stops working? The piano tuna.

48. What television show do fish like to watch? Name That Tuna.

49. What type of fish do you need when the weather freezes? Skate.

50. What type of music is best to hear while fishing? Anything catchy!

51. What is the best name for a fish? Bob.

52. What happens when you mix a gym sock with a fishing lure? Hook, line and sinker!

53. Why couldn’t Noah fish when he was on the ark? Because he only had two worms.

54. What is the fastest fish in the ocean? The one who got away.

55. Why can’t you fish from outer space? Because you can only use earthworms.

56. What type of fish will never shut up? A big-mouthed bass.

57. Why did Robin and Batman stop fishing together? Robin kept eating all of the worms.

58. How do fish go from hole to hole when they play golf? With a golf carp.

59. Where does a goldfish go on holiday? Around the globe.

60. When a monastery got into trouble, it has to sell fish and chips to make money. A customer knocked on the door and a monk opened it. The customer said, “Are you guys the fish friars?” The monk answered, “No, I’m the chip monk.” This is longer than most of the other fish puns, but it is certainly one of my favorite fish jokes on this list.

61. Why do fish always swim in schools? Because they can’t walk.

62. What type of instrument do fish love to play? A bass drum.

63. Where do fishermen go to get their hair cut? The bobber shop.

64. Why did the restaurant sell bad fish? Long time no sea.

65. What did the romantic fisherman want? A gillfriend.

66. Why do fish hate playing basketball? Because they are afraid of the net.

67. Why did the vegan decide to go deep-sea fishing? Just for the halibut.

68. What did the fish say after he paid his bail? I am off the hook!

69. What is the difference between a fish and a piano? You might tune a piano, but you can never tuna fish.

70. What do you call a fish in heels? SoFISHticated.

71. What do sea monsters like to eat for dinner? Fish and ships.

72. What happens when you mix a fish and a banker? A loan shark!

73. What did the blind man say after he walked by the fish market? Hello, ladies!

74. What do you call a fish that needs help singing? Autotuna.

75. Why did Jane go to the river after the bullies teased her? To fish for compliments.

76. What does the pope like to eat during Lent? Holy mackerel.

77. What do you use to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.

78. How do you take a shellfish to a hospital? You use a clambulance.

79. What is the best way to try catching a fish? Have someone throw one at you.

80. What did the magician say to the fishmonger? Pick a cod, any cod.

81. Cod I borrow you for a few minutes? Use this if you work at a fish market.

82. Who is responsible for cleaning the bottom of the sea? The mer-maids.

83. What did the fish tell her boss? I will dolphin-itely get these reports to you today.

84. Why did the octopus go across the road? She wanted to get to the other tide.

85. What did the fish say at the end of the interview? Let minnow when you want me to start.

86. Did you hear the story about the goldfish who filed for bankruptcy? He turned into a bronze fish.

87. Why do fish always lose criminal cases? Because the judges always find them gill-ty.

88. Why are fish so lucky? Because they take advantage of every oppor-tuna-ity.

89. What happens when you mix salmon and nutella together? You get salmonella.

90. Why was the Japanese fish so bashful around his crush? He was feeling koi.

91. Who do fish pray to? Cod Almighty.

92. How do fish walk? On their sole.

93. Why do fishermen tell such fantastical stories? They like a whale of a tail.

94. Why was the dolphin feeling so disgruntled? He couldn’t find his porpoise.

95. Why won’t fish take responsibility? Because they think it is salmon else’s fault.

96. Why don’t fish listen? They have herring problems.

97. Why do fish always give their best effort? They really put their heart and sole into things.

98. What is the fish’s favorite sitcom? Tuna Half Men.

99. What did the fish say when his relationship was floundering? Halibut we talk about it?

100. Why are fish great coders? They know how to trawl through the data.

101. Why did they throw the clams out? They were past their shell-by-date.

102. Why are cods terrible journalists? They always spread hake news.

103. What do you call a fish that likes to chase mice? A catfish.

104. What is the name of a fish that loves to chase casts? A dogfish.

105. Who is a fish’s favorite actress? Marlin Dietrich.

106. Where do all of the fish live? In Finland.

107. What does the rasta fish love? Sea weed.

108. Why did man give his banker an octopus? He wanted to pay the sick squid he owed him.

109. What is the world’s most expensive fish? The goldfish.

110. What is a fish’s favorite reggae band? Bob Marley and the Whalers.

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111. Who did the goldfish vote for? Barracuda Obama.

112. Why was the crab in so much trouble? He was stuck in a real kettle of fish.

113. Who is a cod’s favorite artist? Jackson Pollock.

114. Why was the shellfish in a bad mood? He was feeling crabby.

115. Why did the dad fish hate his daughter’s boyfriend? He thought the guy was just small fry.

116. What did the Codfather tell the embezzler? Watch out or you will be swimming with the fishes.

117. You should always remember to keep your friends close and your anemones closer. These are excellent words to live by in life.

118. What did the mom fish tell her daughter after a break up? There’s always more fish in the sea.

119. What did the fish tell his sweetheart? I am no fin compared to you.

120. What was Shakespeare fish’s favorite quote? The pen is mightier than the swordfish.

121. What did Dorothy fish say? There is no plaice like home.

122. What song do guppies sing? Roe, roe, roe your boat.

123. Why was Dory so stressed out? She couldn’t find Nemo.

124. What do deaf fish use? Herring aids.

125. Where do whales always sing> They have to harpoon on about something.

126. What is the world’s shyest fish? The koi.

127. Where do fish go to share their photos? Facebrook.

128. What did the Star Trek-loving eel say? Bream me up, Scotty.

129. They say I’m on the seafood diet. I see food and eat. Personally, I think that this is my favorite diet plan. It also happens to be one of the more common fish puns on this list.

130. Where do fish go to research information? Whale-kepedia.

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131. Why do you call a fish that drives a Tesla? An electric eel.

132. Where do you go to buy second-hand shrimp? The prawn shop.

133. How were the eels dancing? They were doing the conger.

134. Why was the fish so thoughtful? He wanted to mullet over.

135. Why was the barracuda so suspicious? He thought somefin fishy was going on.

136. Why do fish companies never work out? They always have to scale back.

137. Why did the fish break up? She kept herring bad rumors.

138. Why don’t fish go to war? They are always paci-fish-t.

139. What is a fish’s favorite fruit? Ava-COD-o.

140. What is a fish’s favorite movie? Across the Tunaverse.

141. Where did the fish professor go? To the a-cod-emy.

142. Why was the guppy feeling good? He was just reely happy.

143. What did the fish tell Elvis Presley? I’m your biggest fin!

144. Why did the clam get in a fight with the cod? He thought he was badmouthfin’ him.

145. Why did the fish start a charity? He was good at findraising.

146. Why wouldn’t the rainbow fish get a nose job? She thought it was too arti-fish-ial.

147. What do fish drink in the morning? Cafin.

148. Why are fish such great salespeople? Because they rock at door-to-dorsals.

149. What did the fish say when he walked into the bar? This place has really taken a dive.

150. What did the fish say when their daughter graduated from college? Our little gill grew up so fast!

fish jokes

151. Why was the pollock so popular? He had a bubbly personality.

152. Why did the office fish quit his job? He was tired of wading through paperwork.

153. Why was the fish a train conductor? He liked riding the railwaves.

154. What do fish take to work? A b-reef-case.

155. Why was the fish so upset? He thought it was all pollocks.

156. Why was the tuna great at gymnastics? He had amazing a-gill-ity.

157. Why was the octopus so envious? He was just feeling jelly.

158. Why did the starfish go to the hospital? He was having a real emergen-sea and was in shark.

159. Why did two fish walk into a bar? They were old chums.

160. Why couldn’t the salmon have a relationship? He was afraid of intima-sea.

161. Why are fish such good accounts? They are great at managing bassets.

162. What did the fish ask his friend at the bar? Shoal I get the next round?

163. What is a salmon’s favorite flower? The roe-se.

164. Why did the fish go to jail? He was gill-ty of bass-ault.

165. Why was the flatfish so fast? It was turbot-charged.

166. Why are tunas such great boyfriends? They are really roe-mantic.

167. Why was Aladdin never hungry? Each time he rubbed the lamp, he got three fishes.

168. Why are fish great scientists? They understand nuclear fishin’ technology.

169. Why do fish lose at chess? They only move the prawns.

170. What did the bass say after everyone left his party? Tanks for coming!

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