The country genre is filled with lyrical geniuses like Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, and George Strait. But among those heartfelt songs about life in the country, missing their hometown, and falling for that gorgeous Southern Belle are songs made to make you laugh out loud.
Below, we’ve compiled some of the best funny country songs you’ll ever hear. Get ready to have your sides in stitches because some these songs really tell it as it is!
1. Freddy B – She Only Bitches when She Breathes
It’s a story all too many married folk know so well. Everything was fine and dandy before you got married and then BAM! She completely changes once you tie the knot. In this 2011 hit, Freddie B hates how all his now-wife’s pre-wedding promises have remained unfulfilled. She’s now the complete opposite of who he wants in a wife, so much so that all he can do is reminisce about their past romantic days.
Funny country lines: She only bitches when she breathes
Rollin in the hay upsets her allergies
Wont wear no sexy lengerie
Since she ate that wedding cake
Only thing she blows is my money and dreams
2. Confederate Railroad – Trashy Women
We’ve all heard the songs about guys and the gals of their dreams. They want the sweet Southern Belle, the debutant, the proper lady. But the guys over at Confederate Railroad are just simple, honest folk who like their beer cold and their women trashy!
Funny country lines: Yeah, and I like my women just a little on the trashy side
When they wear their clothes too tight and their hair is dyed
Too much lipstick and, ah, too much rouge
Gets me excited, leaves me feeling confused
And I like my women just a little on the trashy side
3. Paul Overstreet – I Think She Only Loves Me for My Willie
With a title like that, you can’t expect this to be a serious song, can you? This pun-tastic song isn’t about what you think, though. Instead, it’s referring to a guy who thinks his girl only likes him for how well he can sing Willie Nelson’ Whiskey River.
Funny country lines: But I think she only loves me for my Willie
Something about my Willie turns her on
It’s not all that extraordinary really
But it’s better than my Haggard and my Jones
4. Loretta Lynn and Conway Twitty – You’re the Reason Our Kids are Ugly
If you want to laugh until your sides hurt, this is the song you should be listening to. This 1978 song is all about a couple who have come to terms with being stuck together forever. They throw some major shade at each other for all the bad things that have been happening, the most telling of which is having ugly kids. But then again, they’re okay with it all because despite all the miseries they’ve been through, the love is still there.
Funny country lines: And you’re the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin’
Ah, but looks ain’t everythin’ and money ain’t everythin’
But I love you just the same
5. Laura Bell Bundy – You Can’t Pray the Gay Away
Back in the day, praying for a loved one to stop being gay would have been a common practice. But in this modern age, we all know that you can’t pray away what someone really is! So quit it with trying to change who you or anyone else is and just accept them!
Funny country lines: You can’t pray the gay away
No matter what your preachers say
There’s no fighting DNA
You can’t pray the gay away
6. Rodney Carrington – Dancing with a Man
Speaking of genders, while you may be accepting of people being attracted to the same sex, you may not be the one to indulge in the same practices. In this song by Rodney Carrington, two Texas cowboys find themselves getting drunk and dancing with a very suspicious looking lady.
Funny country lines: I think I’m dancing with a man
She’s got callouses on her hands
She’s got a voice deeper than mine
She gets a stiffy when we grind
I think I’m dancing with a man
7. Buck Owens – Who’s Gonna Mow Your Grass
While you have songs in other genres with guys crooning about their ladies missing their sweet kisses and thoughtful words, Buck Owens lays it down like it is. In this song, a husband asks his wife a bunch of practical questions to keep her from breaking up with him, and one of those questions is who would mow the grass when he’s gone.
Funny country lines: Who’s gonna bring you your breakfast in bed who’s gonna whisper goodnight
Who’s gonna keep you warm as toast on those cold winter nights
And who’s gonna be your puppy dog when I’m a thing of the past
Hey who’s gonna mow your grass
8. Jaron and The Long Road to Love – I Pray for You
How sweet that he’s praying for the woman who left him, right? Well not really. Especially when you realize what he’s actually praying for!
Funny country lines: I pray your brakes go out runnin’ down a hill
I pray and flower pot falls from a window sill
And knocks you in the head like I’d like to
I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls
I pray you’re flyin’ high when your engine stalls
I pray all your dreams never come true
Just know wherever you are honey, I pray for you
9. Dan Hicks – How Can I Miss You if You Won’t Go Away
How do you deal with unwanted attention? Dan Hicks has done almost everything he can to make his admirer just bugger off. But she just won’t leave him alone. And so he asks her, how can I miss you if you won’t go away?!
Funny country lines: I’ve talked to your mother and I’ve talked to your dad
They say they’ve tried but it’s all in vain
I’ve begged and I’ve pleaded, I even got mad
Now we must face it, you give me a pain
How can I miss you when you won’t go away?
Keep telling you day after day
But you won’t listen, you always stay and stay
How can I miss you when you won’t go away?
10. Patsy Cline – I Love You, Honey
How sweet! Why is this song on the list at all? Well, Patsy shows us that you can love someone for who they are. But you can also love them for what they own what they can give you.
Funny country lines: I love you honey, I love your money
I love your automobile
I love you baby, I don’t mean maybe
You’re the sweetest thing on wheels
I love your kisses, I wouldn’t miss it
No matter how I feel
I love you honey, I love your money
Most of all I love your automobile
11. Brad Paisley – I’m Gonna Miss Her
Here’s another misleading title. It’s sweet when a guy misses their lady, but that kind of depends on the circumstances. In this song, Brad was made to choose between fishing and his lady, and his response is that he’ll miss her when she goes away.
Funny country lines: Well I’m gonna miss her
When I get home
But right now I’m on this lake shore
And I’m sittin’ in the sun
I’m sure it’ll hit me
When I walk through that door tonight
That I’m gonna miss her
Oh, lookie there, I’ve got a bite
12. Billy Currington – Like My Dog
You know it’s not a healthy relationship when you wish your lady was more like your dog who unconditionally loves you. In this song, Billy Currington tells his wife about how much his dog loves him and how he wishes his wife could be just like his furry companion.
Funny country lines: He never tells me that he’s sick of this house
He never says why don’t you get off that couch?
He don’t cost me nothin’ when he wants to go out
I want you to love me like my dog
13. Neal Mc Coy – Billy’s Got His Beer Goggles On
In this song, Neal sings about his pal Billy, who has just been dumped by his girlfriend. And so they go to the local bar to get smashed. And while Billy has his beer goggles on, he ends up dancing with a suspicious looking lady. No, she’s not a man as in the case of Rodney Carrington. Instead, he’s dancing with someone you’ll only dance with if you’re black-out drunk!
Funny country lines: He’s on the dance floor yelling “Freebird”
Singing off pitch but he knows every word
Grabs him a girl and he holds on tight
He’s chasing everything in sight
He’ll fall apart when he gets home
But right now his worries are gone
Life looks good, good, good
Billy’s got his beer goggles on
14. David Frizzel – I’m Gonna Hire a Wino to Decorate Our Home
If you live with a constant drunk, might as well hire someone who can decorate the home according to his tastes, right? In this song, a wife laments how his husband is always drunk, and so she wants to hire a fellow wino to decorate their home to make it look like the bar since that’s what her husband wants anyway.
Funny country lines: She said: “I’m gonna’ hire a wino to decorate our home,
“So you’ll feel more at ease here, and you won’t have to roam.
“We’ll take out the dining room table, and put a bar along that wall.
“And a neon sign, to point the way, to our bathroom down the hall.”
15. Johnny Cash – A Boy Named Sue
Last but not the least is probably the most popular comedic country song that even people who don’t listen to country music would know about. The beauty of this song is a combination of its tune, its lyrics, and the masterful way Johnny Cash performs it. In this song, Johnny Sings as a boy named Sue who hates his father for giving his such an awful name. He goes through life being a tough guy to compensate for his feminine name until one day, he comes face to face with the man who’s responsible for giving him this godawful name.
Funny country lines: I got all choked up and I threw down my gun
Called him my Pa, and he called me his son
And I come away with a different point of view
And I think about him, now and then
Every time I try and every time I win
And if I ever have a son, I think I’m gonna name him…
Bill or George! Anything but Sue! I still hate that name!
Which of these hilarious country songs struck a chord with you? Share your favorites with us in the comments below!