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60 Funny Love Quotes And Sayings For Her

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We could all use a little more wisdom when it comes to love. With so many people falling in and out of love every day, you have to wonder what it is that they keep getting wrong. Could it be that they’re lacking the wisdom to choose the right guy? Do they not know how to maintain a good relationship? Or maybe they dive headfirst into a relationship without knowing what to expect?

funny love qoutes

If you’re looking for real, practical advice on love then this might be the place to go. Below, we’ve compiled a whole selection of quotes about love that give you real, solid advice on what it’s like to fall in love, to fall out of love, to get married, and to regret ever being married at all.

The quotes below were gathered from numerous sources – both men and women – and we have reason to believe that they really know what they’re talking about!

1. A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.

2. A kiss without a mustache is like an egg without salt.

3. A person in love partly becomes a poet, a composer and the corniest person in the room.

4. A sprinkle of jealousy in a relationship is healthy. It’s good to know that someone is scared of losing you.



5. A woman can fake an orgasm to keep the relationship, while a man can fake the entire relationship.

6. According to Newton’s Law of love, love can neither be created nor destroyed. However, it can create a girlfriend who can destroy wallets.

7. All the voices in my head are replaced with your voice, the faces in every billboard yours and the songs on the radio all about you.

8. An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

9. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

10. Even if it means following you around and carrying your shopping bags, I don’t mind, as long as I’m with you.

11. Falling for you was like falling down the stairs. I was in complete control at first, then, without warning I was spinning, tumbling, and had no idea why or how. Then, before I even knew what happened, I lay at the bottom; shocked, stunned, and so oddly aware that I still ended up exactly where I was trying to go.

12. For a woman, the first kiss is the start of everything. For a man though, the first kiss is the end of everything.



13. Girl express their feelings through tears, while boys express their feelings through beers.

14. Girls cry their eyes out until they are dry, while boys drink their beers until their mugs are all dried up.

15. Grow old with me. Let’s count each other’s wrinkles as the years pass by. Let’s see who losses all of the teeth and who will need the help of the walking stick first.

hilarious love quotes and sayings

16. Heartbreak is one great way to lose a lot of your unwanted weight. You won’t eat for days, you’ll pour your energy on making your ex regret ever leaving you, and thus, you’ll spend all your time at the gym.

17. Hot and cute guys make your heart skip a beat, cool and charming guys make you go crazy, but funny and witty guys are the ones who will make you fall in love.

18. I love you like how potbellied policemen are obsessed with donuts and how chubby kids love ice cream.

19. I need to find a cure from the virus caused by your lips and your eyes that brings weakness on my knees.

20. I want to be the reason when you look down on your phone, you’ll have this goofy smile in your face and jump up and down like a silly little girl, and then fall down a manhole.

21. I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.

22. If a hug represented how much I loved you, I would hold you in my arms forever.

23. If I give you a part of my pizza or my chocolate, then that means I like you so much.

24. If someone says you are lovely, cute or pretty, always remember that love is blind.

25. Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.

26. Love is a type of forgetfulness where a girl only remembers one bastard and forgets all the other boys around her.

27. Love with old men is as the sun upon the snow, it dazzles more than it warms.

28. Loving someone who does not love you means waiting for a shark to fly or a spider to have gills.

29. Make you sure you tell your partner how much you love him every day for you’ll never know when you’ll find somebody better.

30. Marriage does not only require you to deal with expenses and the toilet seat, you also have to deal with feelings and the last resort, the lawyers.

31. Marriage doubles your electric and grocery bills, the size of your tummy for 9 months and the energy you need to do the house cleaning.

32. Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning a handspring or eating with chopsticks; it looks easy until you’re the one doing it.

33. Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry out the trash.

34. Marriages never have a guarantee. If you want 100% assurance, better go live with a car battery.

35. Marry someone of your own age. So when your beauty fades, so does his eyesight.

36. Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else.

37. My head and my heart will never cease their endless war. When my head says ‘I don’t care, my heart says ‘I do care’. When my head says ‘I’m not thinking about her, my heart says ‘of course you do.’

38. My heart only skips a bit for two reasons: one, when I am facing a difficult enemy in a game and two, when you say my name.

39. My mind works great wonder 365 days a year, 7 days a week and 24 hours a day…until I met you.

40. My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.

41. Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.

42. Promise yourself not to be a woman who needs a man to live, but a woman a man needs.

43. Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings.

44. Staying in love for more than 5 years is almost impossible. Staying in love with the same person for the rest of your life is a miracle.

45. Stop waiting for your prince in a white horse. Go and find him. The poor bastard might be lost or stuck in an island or something.

funny sayings about love

46. This is as close as I can get to describing it – a hot pancake with butter melting on top and a steaming cup of coffee as soon as I open my eyes. That’s how wonderful it is to wake up knowing you are mine and I am yours.

47. To a person in love, even a stormy and rainy day feels like a good sunny day, and the ugliest, the prettiest in his eyes.

48. True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.

49. What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.

50. What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.

51. When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.

52. Will you lend me a kiss? I promise to give it back.

53. Women hope men will change after marriage, but they don’t; men hope women won’t change, but they do.

54. Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.

55. Women need a reason to have sex, while a man only needs a place to do the deed.

56. You add meaning to my life and yet, you subtract some cash from my wallet.

57. You know that you’ve been in a relationship long enough when it takes only 15 minutes for you to get ready and when you consider pizza and beer as your Saturday Date Night.

58. Your dad calls you a princess and yet, you don’t need to act like a spoiled little brat around the man who truly loves you.

59. Forget the butterflies; I feel the whole damn zoo when I’m with you.

60. Never laugh at your partner’s choices because you’re one of them!

We hope this list hasn’t put you off falling in love in its entirety. Most of these quotes are just exaggerations, after all. But then again, when you read between the lines, you might see that there’s a bit of truth to every cynical saying you can find on this list!

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