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Funny Online Dating Profile Examples


Are you trying to keep your online dating profile lighthearted, upbeat and have people LOLing in real life when they read them? We can help you with that. Take a look at some of these funny online dating profile examples below to get started.

Example #1:  Funny

About me: My name is Jenna and I’m 24 years old. I never pictured myself as the online dating type, but at this point in my life I thought ‘Screw it, why the f#$% not!” I’m a very busy person so I don’t have a lot of time to go out and meet people. So here I am.

I work as a Vets assistant so I must warn you I do have to put thermometers up butts sometimes. But that’s a plus for you, because if you ever get sick I can take your temp very easily! 😉

I am not a huge fan of cooking, but I sure as hell do love to eat! Eating is one of my favorite hobbies of all time. I can do it all day, every day. So I’m looking for someone who can feed me and eat with me constantly. However, I must say I make some pretty delicious toaster strudels upon request. I’m also really great at boiling water.

I have 2 dogs, they are like my children! I love them with all of my heart. You must love dogs to be with me. Don’t bother messaging me if you don’t approve. I will not, under any circumstance, get rid of them. Yes, I am crazy dog lady and I choose dogs over men any day.

My interests: Kicking ass and taking names. Hiking, but only the short kind. Reading magazines while my boo cooks for me. I’ll clean up after. I’m a great singer, but my sister always tells me I sound the best when no one else is around.

My dislikes: People who chew too loudly. Men who don’t cook. People who smell bad.

Example #2:  Honest

About Me: I’m 36. I have been a runaway bride twice now. I’m just not cut out for this ‘until death do us part thing’. How about we do ‘until we both get on each others nerves, stop sleeping together and are plotting our escapes.’ That may sound bad, but how many people do you know that are happily married? I don’t know very many that are happily married. I am definitely a believer in being faithful to one another and I love the thought of sharing a home. As long as you’re not bossy or rude, we will get along just fine. Just don’t ask me to marry you. Okay? Okay.

We can live our lives happily without that stressful commitment. I’m definitely not a commitment phobe. I just don’t believe in a silly piece of paper. So if you think you are a perfect match for me go ahead and send me a message. I’m still single and ready to mingle.

Example #3: Hilarious

About Me: 32 and still alone. I’m a tiny lady in a big city. I love reality t.v, not going on walks and a donut that is so good it is almost spiritual. I have a Reese Witherspoon personality, Nicki Minaj body and the eyes of Frank Sinatra. Looking for a Channing Tatum to my whoever the girl from Step Up 1 was. Swipe right if you like a high powered firecracker of a woman who only recently learned how to use a Tivo. Swipe right also if you can teach me how to better use my Tivo.

Example #4: Sarcastic

About Me: *Please read with a tinge of sarcasm, thanks*

I’m Josh. I am that intelligent, caring, kind guy that your parents always told you to go for. You friends will absolutely adore me and your ex-boyfriends will moderately show distaste for me. I’m like Adam Levine, but without all the tattoos, the womanizing and the millions of bucks. Ok, actually no, I’m more like the Dalai Lama, with Obama swag and a Morgan Freeman persona. I love spending times at Bat Mitzvahs and Quinceaneras on the weekends. Yup, I’m very culturally diverse like that. I love writing, reading, cooking, pianos, exploring the wilderness, jumping jacks and eating cereal. I’ve been to Budapest, Paris, Japan, South Korea, Africa and Florida (basically a foreign country).

Send me a message if you are interested in doing any of the stuff I listed above.

Example #5: Nerdy Funny

I’m just a girl with a masters degree that is virtually useless. I am definitely old fashioned about dating, but by no means a prude. Don’t get me wrong. I’m a gymnast so I bend like wet spaghetti in the sack. I share my apartment with my cat, Joker, who I share all of my secrets with. So be careful of what you tell me. Joker knows all. There’s nothing hotter than a guy who loves spending time on crosswords. Get it… down? I also enjoy puns very much.

My favorite movie is Homeward Bound, but I don’t usually admit it.

My favorite things to do consist of crosswords, pun and games (wink!) and traveling.

I’m looking for a down to earth guy who loves to stay in and relax with a good cup of joe.

Example #6: Uptight With Humor

About Me: Jerry, 29, dislikes animals.

I am definitely not very down to earth. If you ignore me I might show up at your house unexpectedly to check in. I have a great fear of heights, so don’t worry about my climbing up any fire escapes. I love tea, coffee and anything else with caffeine in it. It’s the only thing that keeps me going throughout the day. I have a consistent urge to do everything properly all of the time. I don’t have time for mistakes. So if you swipe right, don’t make me regret it.

Example #7: Jokingly Funny

Amanda J.

About Me: I am the biggest hermit that you will ever meet in your life. I live alone in an abandoned building. All of my walls are painted black with markings on them. I like to chant by myself late at night in the candlelight. Sometimes I do this whilst rocking back and forth. I love making people miserable. It’s my favorite thing to do.

Example #8: Down To Earth and Real

About Me: I’m easy going, a little bit lazy, but very competitive. I’m a tiny bit sensitive but I get over anything pretty quickly. I am so good at cooking that I should be on Masterchef. Okay, maybe not that good, but pretty damn close. I make a killer grilled cheese. I like riding my bike more than I like driving my car. I take time when I do things, so if you like to rush don’t bother matching up with me. I believe in having a free spirit and keeping things simple.

I’m definitely a ‘take no shit from anyone’ type of person. I do things by my own book and in my own time.

What I’m Looking For: Someone who isn’t crazy. That is the number one thing. A kind, caring soul who can be open minded about the things they do in life. Must like to read. I like people who have goals in life. So if you can’t plan for the next five years you know where the ‘next button’ is.

Example #9: Quaint

Me: You can find me in my office getting paid to play on my phone most days. When I am not at work I’m at home trying different hobbies. Which I usually fail at, but hey at least I try.

My favorite meal of the day is breakfast. I mean, who doesn’t love breakfast? Evil people, that’s who. I’m a meat eater to the death. You’ll have to pry a steak from my cold, dead hands.

I don’t mind watching cartoons, but I can’t stand documentaries. So don’t try to educate me that way.

On our first date I’ll take you to Paris to eat escargot and drink wine on the Eiffel tower. Just kidding, we’ll probably go see a movie or visit the bar downtown. Feel free to message me if you find anything in common with me. And if you don’t mind never going to Paris. I’m not very rich, sorry.

Example #10: Sincere, Yet Funny

About Me: Jesse, 25.

I know how to use their, they’re and there properly. I’m cooler than the other side of the pillow. Or at least that is what my mom tends to tell me. I’m quirky, competitive and quiet most of the time. I like to push myself to the max. I also like to push others (in a non-violent-pushes-to-the-ground-type-of-way). I’m always looking to explore new places. I also support local community things.

Dealbreakers for me: I don’t want to date someone who already has kids. Sorry, but I want my own kids, not someone else’s. I’m 99.99% sure about this one.

I don’t like smokers. So either be trying to quit or don’t smoke at all. Ya’ll smell nasty.

Example #11: Short and Simple

Yoga enthusiast. Financial manager. I love kids, animals and anything with a pulse. Except snakes. F##$ snakes. No, really, don’t ever even mention snakes.

I like chocolate more than vanilla. This applies to flavors and men. But I enjoy tasting both, if you know what I mean.

What am I searching for? A man who can hold his own, but doesn’t ever try to tell me what to do. Unless, of course, it’s in the bedroom. That’s a whole different story. Must have a job. I’m tired of dating bums. Sorrynotsorry.

Hit ‘message’ if you think we’d vibe.

Example #12:  List Like

Hey there, I’m James! I would love for you to get to know me a little better before deciding if we are a match or not. So let me tell you a little bit about me.

  • My favorite thing to wear is my softest set of pajamas.
  • I absolutely hate onions. Don’t even bring those nasty things near me. Ever.
  • Babies are alright, but I don’t want any just yet. They puke too much.
  • My favorite band is Linkin Park. R.I.P Chester.
  • I grew up in a small town, but I definitely don’t have small town ideals.
  • My favorite place that I have visited was somewhere up in the mountains.
  • The rain is my friend and the sun is the devil.
  • I have a Netflix addiction to the max.
  • I don’t like video games. They are a waste of time.
  • The perfect girl for me will love travelling.
  • I can’t imagine myself with someone who has no sense of humor.
  • I LOVE  LOVE LOVE comic books!
  • I collect coins, but I don’t usually show that until the third date.

Example #13: Sweet As Pie

Hi my name is Arlo. I’m definitely here to sweep the right girl off of her feet if I am given the chance. Online dating isn’t usually my thing, but I lost a bet so here I am. I’m sure you are dying to get to know me better, so here are a few vital details about me:

My biggest passion in life is directing. I should mention I’m a movie director. Not for anything major. Although one can hope, right? I also volunteer at my local pet shelter on the weekends. I just love furbabies.

My favorite food would have to be tacos. I make some bomb, authentic tacos. So all you have to do is ask and BAM! There’ll be tacos any day the of the week.

I love to spoil my date. I believe everyone deserves to be spoiled every now and again.

What I can’t live without:

  • Pets.
  • Music. Especially rock music.
  • My guitar, yes I play the guitar.
  • My Xbox One. I like video games.
  • Banans. They are literally my favorite thing to eat besides tacos.

Random Facts About Me:

  • I never learned how to swim.
  • My favorite fast food restaurant is Arbys.
  • I hate trucks.


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