The dreaded friend zone is that place where you like a girl, but she has pretty much outright treats you like a friend. It’s a tough situation to be in because on the one hand you like her company so you hang around her; but on the other hand, you know that she doesn’t like you back.
Most men simply accept being in the friend zone and just move on. However, if you’re convinced that this girl is the woman of your dreams, you may want to try out these tips to get yourself out of the friend zone and into the potential-boyfriend zone.
Tell her you like her. It’s as easy as that. Most of the time a woman treats you like a friend simply because she has no idea that you’re attracted to her. She doesn’t want to assume that you like her, so the safe option would be to treat you just like she would any other guy she’s friends with.
So when you do muster up the courage to tell you have the hots for her, keep it straight and simple. Don’t go for grand gestures that might intimidate her. Instead, pick the right time and place. For instance, you might want to go to one of your favorite hangouts. And when the timing feels right, just tell her that you think she’s awesome, and that you like her.
Ask her out. This is a step up from the previous step. Once you’ve expressed your feelings towards her, and she doesn’t seem averse to the idea, it’s time to ask her out. Don’t aim for a romantic dinner date. Instead, keep it casual so she feels comfortable. Keep in mind that you’re transitioning from the friend zone to the potential-boyfriend zone, so you want to tread carefully.
Don’t be too available. If a girl knows you’d wait on her hand and foot, she might learn to take you for granted. And if she does, it can be easy to firmly seal your place in the friend zone because she sees you as the friend she can always count on.
Instead, get her to miss you a little bit. Go for a day without being the one to message her first. When she wants to hang out, only agree if you genuinely have no other plans. When she starts to miss you just a little bit, it might make her realize how valuable you are in her life… Perhaps as more than just a friend.
Let her see that other women may be attracted to you. It’s human nature to desire something or someone even more when you know that other people do too. In this case, don’t try to hide the fact that you have other female friends who might also be attracted to you. You can display this by entertaining comments on your Facebook posts or by liking photos of girls you’re friends with on Instagram.
Keep in mind that you’re not looking to make her jealous. You’re simply trying to make her see that there are other women out there that may find you attractive. If she knows this, she may start to wonder if there’s more to you than the friend she sees.
Enjoy the company of other people. Men who bemoan being in the friend zone tend to hang around the girl they like way too much. This is a huge deterrent because she might think that you’re a loser with nothing else going on in your life.
As in the tip about not being too available, it’s always a good idea to have other plans. Not only will this help her miss you a little more, but it will also help you become a more well-rounded person who has interesting things going on in your life.
Drop some hints about wanting a girlfriend. This needs to be handled very carefully because what you may consider a hint might seem too outright to her. Gently ease the topic into a conversation you’re having with her, and don’t shift the topic too abruptly.
For instance, you might be talking about a TV show where there’s a hint of romance in it. You might say that the leading lady seems like good girlfriend material, but you also want a girlfriend with some other traits. These “other traits” should be ones that the woman you like has.
Flirt with her. As with any interaction with her, keep your cool and keep things a little casual. You want her to feel comfortable around you, and flirting too aggressively might make her think you’re a creep. Start the flirting off with some compliments – tell her that she looks nice today or that you like how she did her hair. Once she’s comfortable with this, take it up a notch by saying something sweet like, “Hey, don’t stay up too late. I know you hate feeling tired in the morning.”
Be a little touchy if she’s comfortable with it. You can tell by a woman’s body language that she’s comfortable with you. For example, if you’re sitting side by side, she might lean her head on your shoulder. If she does this, slowly ease your arm behind her shoulder and see if she’s okay with that. If she doesn’t move away or brush you off, keep at it.
Remember, she has to show her openness to being touched. If she’s sitting across the table from you with no indication of wanting to be closer, don’t suddenly take her hand or try to play footsies under the table!
Go out for drinks. They say a drunk mind speaks a sober heart. If you’re the type of friends who like to drink together, go out for a couple of drinks and see where it goes. You don’t want either of you to be wasted, but you both want to be uninhibited enough to be able to say what you want to say. This might also be a good time to mention that you like her.
Keep in mind that drunkenness might whisk you both off into the bedroom. On one hand, that’s good news because you’re out of the friend zone. But on the other hand, she might see you only as a casual dalliance and nothing more. So take this tip with a grain of salt!
Accept the situation. Sadly, getting out of the friend zone takes two people. All the tips above are useless if she’s adamant about only being your friend. In this case, there’s nothing else you can do but accept it.
However, don’t lose hope. If you’re a truly good friend to her, she might someday see that you’re the one she’s been looking for all along. Just don’t get your hopes up. And if you know in your heart that you can’t accept only being friends with her, then it might be time to slowly keep your distance so you don’t end up hurting yourself.
When you’re stuck in the friend zone, it feels like being in battle against a woman’s feelings. But if you play your cards right and get her to see you as more than a friend, you might just be lucky enough to get her to become attracted to you.