For the most part, the problem of being in the friend zone is a problem more common to men. Men tend to get stuck in the friend zone because they like a girl, but she can only see him as a friend. With women, things tend to be just a tad simpler because when she finds someone she likes and likes her back, just a little flirtation can turn their relationship from friendly to something a little more.
However, women can also fall victim to the dreaded friend zone. After all, a lot of women balk at the idea of being upfront about their feelings for a guy. And because of this, the guy has no idea she’s into him, and therefore only treats her like a friend to be on the safe side.
So for all you ladies out there who are treated as a friend by your crush, here are a couple of tips to get him to see you as more than a friend.
Be as attractive as you can around him. Okay, just to be clear, we’re not saying you should change who you are just so he becomes attracted to you. We’re talking about making just a couple of tweaks to ensure that the guy you like starts to notice you.
In terms of appearance, you can simply change up your style just a little bit when you know he’ll be around. For example, you might want to wear those jeans that make your butt look fantastic. You might want to wear that cute flowy top that gets you lots of compliments. You might also want to wear just a little makeup to look more put together.
Aside from appearance, you also have to work on your attitude. Chances are he’ll be less attracted to you if you attach yourself to him every chance you get. Instead, work on improving yourself as a whole. Engage more people, learn new things, and broaden your mind to become a more confident and interesting person. This way, if things don’t work out between you and the guy you like, at least you know you came out of it a better person.
Be a tad mysterious. Men, for the most part, love the chase. They’re less likely to be attracted and stay attracted to you if you bare it all without a moment’s hesitation. So to give yourself an air of mystery, avoid being too available. So when you’re busy, don’t feel too bad about not being able to hang out. Likewise, don’t always be the one to ask him to hang out. Try to keep things at a 50/50 balance.
Show him you’re wanted. When you post that hot selfie on Instagram, don’t be worried about him seeing all these other guys telling you you’re cute and pretty. Relish it and allow him to see that other guys think you’re fine. But it’s not just other men that you want him to see enjoying your company. Let him see that you’ve also got a bunch of friends who genuinely like being around you. This might make him think that you’re actually pretty cool, and therefore attractive.
Get him alone. For a girl in the friend zone, it can be tough to get the guy you want alone without seeming too desperate. But by “alone” we mean being alone in a conversation. So the next time you hang out with your friend group, try to be seated next to the guy you like. This way when you see that he’s not talking to anyone, you can engage him in conversation.
This is where the whole “broadening your horizons” tip comes in. Since you may have already done your fair share of research into what he’s into, use those topics to put him at ease. Don’t pretend to know all about it. Instead, ask him questions and pay attention to his answers. Not only does this build rapport between you, but it also strokes his ego as most men like it when people ask about their interests.
Be a little flirty. Some men might not show any signs of liking you simply because they’re too shy to make that move. So if in case the guy you like is also attracted to you but is just shy, one way to break the barrier is to be the first one to flirt.
Start off with a conversation. Then insert a few compliments, and if possible, try to make him laugh. If you can see that he’s comfortable with you, you may want to start touching him. Be subtle at first, with a hand on his forearm when you want to make a point or a playful slap against the arm.
Show him your girlfriend material side. If he’s someone you’ve added on Facebook or Instagram, try to make a few posts that show off your girlfriend material side. For instance, you might post about doing a movie marathon of some movies that you both like. You can also show off your cooking skills by posting some #foodporn. If you know he likes dogs, post a photo of you playing with your pets.
Just keep in mind that all these posts should also reflect who you are as a person. You don’t want to post a bunch of stuff about Star Wars because you know he likes it, when in fact you can barely tell Han Solo and Obi Wan apart!
Don’t talk about sex. As much as you might want to hop into bed with him, talking about sex while you’re still firmly in the friend zone might end up making him think of you as nothing more than a one night stand. If being a one night stand or being a casual sex partner is a situation you prefer to being in the friend zone, then go for it. However, if what you want out of him is a relationship that’s not borne out of sex, avoid all talk of getting laid.
This also includes trying to be seductive. If you end up making him more attracted to your body than you as a person, you might end up on the casual sex route and nothing more.
Learn from the experience. If, despite doing all these things, he still can’t see you as more than a friend, the only logical thing to do is move on. You don’t want to waste your time trying to make him like you if he simply doesn’t.
But instead of seeing this as a failure, see it as a learning experience. You know you can’t make someone like you, but you’ve tried your best to be a better person for someone. When that someone won’t budge, that’s when you know how important it is to try and become a better person for no one else but yourself.
After landing in the friend zone, you might feel the world crashing down on you. But don’t lose hope because while he might treat you as a friend, he might only be doing so because he’s not acquainted with the side of you that’s girlfriend material. So cheer up, work on being a better version of yourself, and show him what you’ve got!