When you have relationship problems with your girlfriend, it affects your entire life. You feel upset at work and can’t stop thinking about the stress that you will encounter as soon as you get home. People start out their relationships with the best intentions. They want to make their partner happy and live a peaceful life, but problems always happen. Even when both partners want to get along, arguments and disagreements will always happen. While some problems will make your relationship stronger once you work through them, other problems can end up causing you unneeded tension.
While you are having relationships with your girlfriend, you do not just have to let them happen passively. You can constructively work through any problem together and find a solution. Your relationship is not based on an absence of problems. Instead, the strength of your relationship is determined by how you work through the problems that you do have as a couple.
Learning how to deal with relationship problems with your girlfriend is important. Some people assume that they should break up at the first sight of any problem. This is completely untrue. Every relationship encounters problems and arguments. If everyone gave up after the first problem, no one would ever have a long-term relationship or get married. While there are certainly some relationship problems with your girlfriend that necessitate a break up, other problems are easily fixed.
There are some situations where you know that working the problem out can help your relationship survive. These include:
1. You Don’t Have Enough Time Together
In the modern world, people are increasingly busy with work, school and family matters. Sometimes, it seems like you can barely schedule an hour alone with your girlfriend. Your life goes in waves. One week, you are unable to even find time to sleep. On the next week, you suddenly have days of free time. If you truly love your partner, then finding time is important. You can find a way to schedule quality time with your girlfriend if your relationship is important to you. Without quality time, your relationship will quickly start to suffer.
2. You Are Unable to Agree on Certain Issues
It is impossible for two people to agree on everything. For some reason, many couples seem to think that they have to agree on everything and have the same beliefs. If they can’t agree, the couple thinks that they are not compatible enough to stay together. Having different views does not mean that you have to end the relationship. Instead, you have to learn how to compromise, become open-minded about trying new things and be ready to agree to disagree.
Patching Up Relationship Problems With Your Girlfriend
When relationship problems with your girlfriend happen, you have to first decide if you are serious about the relationship. If you want the relationship to work out, then you have to find a way to do so. If you just hope that everything will magically be fixed if you just wait the situation out, you will be in for a depressing surprise. Problems are rarely fixed on their own. For your relationship problems to heal, you have to find a way to be proactive and start fixing the issues.
1. Figure Out What the Problem Really Is
This sounds simple, but it is not always easy to determine the real problem. For example, imagine that your girlfriend seems suspicious about where you are and what you are doing. At first, you may assume the problem is a lack of trust. While this might also be true, the problem might be that she never sees you and only sees Facebook pictures of you drinking with an ex-girlfriend. In this case, the problem is that you are deliberately doing things that would make her jealous and not spending enough time on her. Spend some time looking deep into the issue to figure out what the underlying problem really is.
2. Talk to Your Girlfriend
A relationship is about two people finding ways to make things work. Some relationships end because people are unable to talk about a problem together. The best relationships are based on open, honest communication. For your relationship to work, you need to sit down with your girlfriend and talk to her. Most likely, she already noticed the same problem and was afraid to bring it up. By talking to her, you can make sure that she is on the same page and you can find a solution as a couple.
You have to be careful about how you do this though. If you phrase the problem wrong, she can feel like you are accusing or blaming her. She would naturally become defensive and argumentative, which would only make the problem worse. Make sure to emphasize that you love her and just want to make your relationship even stronger. If you are at fault, make sure to voice this so that she realizes that the problem is about both of you and not just targeted at her.
3. Work on Your Relationship
Once you have found a solution, you have to put it into action. Each day, you have to be committed to making the changes that you talked about. Over the long run, relationships can also feel tedious or boring. To prevent this additional problem, find ways to spice things up. Take your girlfriend to a nice restaurant or plan a weekend getaway to show her just how much she means to you.
Working on Trust Issues
One of the most common problems in a relationship is trust. Having or losing trust can determine whether your relationship survives. If you are constantly jealous when she has a night out with the girls, it will push her away from you. Likewise, it isn’t fair if you are left at home alone while she is out drinking with her ex-boyfriend and a group of friends. While you probably should not determine who she can or cannot hang out with, it is important to act in a way that earns trust. You can’t make her trust you, but your actions can gradually help you earn her trust.
To build trust you need:
Remember the phrase that “actions speak louder than words?” This means that your actions over the long run determine who you are and the quality of your relationship. Your actions are proof that you are worthy of trust.
If she was cheated on in the past, it can take her time to heal. While her mind knows that you are different and trustworthy, her heart is still afraid that she will be hurt again. Even if she has never been cheated on, it can still take time for her to trust you completely. You have to be willing to wait as this trust builds if you want to earn it.
3. Both Partners
For trust to exist, both partners have to give it and earn it. If you don’t trust her, how can you expect her to trust you? Plus, many people who are jealous or suspicious of their partners are suspicious because they are the ones doing something wrong. Unless she has actually done something wrong, don’t accuse her of anything. Both partners have to extend trust for trust to exist in the relationship.