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When Women Test Men

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If a woman is confident and mature, she will not test you in the relationship. Mind games and subtle tests are things that immature women do. Unfortunately, everyone matures at a different rate in life. Some women realize in girlhood that relationships should not be based on tests and manipulations. Other women spend an entire lifetime without realizing this subtle truth. When women test men, the man is left confused about what he is supposed to do, why this test is happening and what she wants. To learn more about what these tests mean and why they happen, read on.

What Does It Mean When Women Test Men?

how women test men

Sometimes, these tests are just a simple way to see if the guy is interested. She might leave you her number. You pass the test if you text or call her within the first couple of days. This basic, easy test is just to see if you are interested. Once you go on a date, she may have other, more subtle tests. Discussions about politics, religion or current events may be a subtle way for her to test you to see if you are really compatible with her.

The previous kinds of tests are simple to justify and understand. Obviously, two people need to find out if they are compatible before they start dating each other seriously. Once you are dating though, these tests should stop.

Unfortunately, this does not always happen. Some women have a habit of turning just about anything into a test. Did you text an hour later than normal? Did you forget to say “I love you” at the end of the phone call? Were you too busy working to take her on a romantic weekend? In the wrong relationships, all of these things can be turned into tests that you ultimately fail.

Why Do Women Test Men?

The root cause of this behavior is insecurity. As we mentioned, some tests like having a conversation are natural ways to find out if you are worth her time and energy. Once a relationship starts, these tests are entirely unnecessary. You are placed in a position where it feels like you have to jump through an endless string of hoops to have any hope of emerging from the other side.

For this last kind of test, the root cause is insecurity and a lack of confidence. If she has a low self-esteem, then she is using these tests to show that she is worthy of you and worthy of love. Each time you pass, it reaffirms her sense of self-worth. Since the same insecurities and lack of confidence still underlie her behavior, another test has to happen again. She basically needs to be continuously reaffirmed that she is an attractive, intelligent woman who is worthy of you.



In this type of situation, the best thing that you can do for yourself is leave her. If you want to have a happy, healthy relationship, you need to steer clear of women who are submissive, dependent and lacking in confidence. For a healthy relationship to start, you have to be equals and the tests have to go away. If she cannot be confident in herself and her relationship with you, then a future relationship is not possible.

Another reason why women test men is because of immaturity. When you are young, everything that you are told about the world comes from someone else. You learn that the earth is round, the sun will always rise in the morning and the United States has 50 states because someone told you that. When you do not have any real experience of your own, learning about the world and reality is hard.

What happens is that some women and girls do not have a lot of relationship experience of their own. Because they have not matured completely, their relationship advice comes from dating magazines and blogs. While some of the tips are surely helpful, there are others that offer terrible advice. Just about every woman who deliberately plays hard to get probably got that tip out of a useless dating magazine. She was told that this dating technique would work, but never learned through personal experience that a) it drives men away and b) builds a relationship foundation built on manipulation.

When someone is listening to poor dating articles or ill-informed friends, they may think that they have to test their partner to see if he loves her. These tests only make life unbearable for you, and they weaken the relationship. If the cause of these tests is immaturity, you have two main options. The easiest option is to break up with her and move on. If you don’t want to do this, your second option is to just talk to her honestly about how you feel. Tell her that you are not a mind reader, and these tests only make you less interested in the relationship. You want a confident, honest partner, and she needs to be that or you will leave. If the cause of these tests was just immaturity, then you will have taught her a valuable insight for her future, even if your relationship ultimately ends with her.

Not Everything Is a Test

Returning to the topic of bad dating advice, we have to mention some of the websites discussing how to pass the “tests” women give to men. On one of these sites, it posted a scenario where a man put his hand on a strange woman’s leg and she told him not to. In option one, the man listened. In option two, he put his hand on her other leg playfully. The terrible dating site said to do option two to pass the test.

We feel obliged to tell you that this is not a test. It is also not a good idea to continue touching someone who does not want to be touched. You could be kicked out of the bar, end up with mace in your eyes or even be put in jail on harassment. If a woman tells you that she does not want to be touched or is not interested in you, it is not some test. She is honestly trying to tell you to buzz off, and your time would be better spent hitting on a woman who is actually interested in you.

Some guys have the counter-argument that this technique worked for their friend. Honestly, it could work for a one night stand. It won’t work for long because she was not interested in you, attracted to you or open to a connection for some reason. If you plan on having sex with her more than once, don’t continue to hit on an uninterested woman. You could end up in jail, and it is just not respectful to hit on someone who has told you to go away. If it was—by some freak accident—a test, then this girl is most likely crazy and not a good person to be around. If she is not crazy, then you should still go away—she will come to you later on her own if it was just a test. And, as a general rule, you should never touch any one who is a stranger or recently introduced to you unless you are pretty certain that they are open to it. If they express that they do not like it, don’t do it. Harassment and rape charges hang around for a lifetime, and a one-night flight is not worth the risk.

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