Talking to your girlfriend can be pretty rough sometimes. On some occasions, she’s really talkative and you can luckily just sit back and relax filling in the conversation with “yeah” and “uh-huh,” but other times you have to introduce a few new topics in order to get her to open up to you.
You want to make sure that the girl you’re with is the one you want to be with so you need to know as much about her as you can and getting her to share little bits of herself is exactly how you do so. When those lulls in conversation arise, here are a few topics that you can broach to get her sharing.
1. Tell her why you started dating her; what characteristics of hers drew you to her
No, it can’t be her body, it needs to be something a little deeper. Tell her that you loved her laugh or her smile, that you enjoyed listening to her intellect, or that you appreciated her values she displayed. She’ll be dying to tell you what she liked about you and, before you know it, you’ll be happily reminiscing.
2. Talk about your work day
There is always some kind of drama going on at work and telling her about it will make her feel included, help her understand what your work consists of, and make her feel like you want to share you experiences with her whether they are good or bad. When she returns the favor, you’ll learn more about her.
3. Discuss your hobbies and ask her about hers
Does she play softball on the weekends, or enjoy comic cons? You won’t know unless you ask her what she does with her free time. Telling her about your hobbies will also give her an idea of how you spend time without her.
Tell her about your favorite vacation destinations and where you’d like to go again. Ask her about her favorites and you just might end up with a planned vacation. Planning trips ahead of time will give you both something to look forward to as well as focusing that excitement on being together away from the daily grind.
5. Tell her some funny stories from your childhood
Most stories about childhood are funny to people who only know you as an adult so this is bound to get her laughing. She’ll return the favor by filling you in on some adolescent adventures and you’ll learn a lot more about each other’s upbringing.
6. Talk about your favorite foods or restaurants
The two of you may end up having similar taste and enjoying the same place. Then, you can have your next date night preplanned with no pressure on you to impress. Who knows, she could be able to cook your favorite dish like a culinary genius!
7. Discuss your favorite movies and TV shows
This could also help you plan a date night and could leave you both excited to speak after one of your favorite episodes if you share the love of a certain show. Who else would she call when Abraham died? After finally finding happiness?
8. Tell her where you plan to be in five years and what that means to you
Ask her about her future plans as well. This will help you understand each other’s goals and dreams so that you always know what drives her. This would also be a good time to stick some feelers out there about any plans to marry or not.
Friends are a huge part of anyone’s life so it’s important that you ask her about her friends and tell her about yours. This will help you get a better feel for who she is when you aren’t around too. If she hangs out with three women who married for money, that’s something you’ll want to know as soon as possible.
10. Talk about your proudest moments and ask her about hers
It could be anything from when you got those training wheels off to getting a big promotion at work. It’s the little things that make up the biggest parts of a woman’s character, so her proudest moments will tell you a lot about her.
Family can be a tricky subject, especially if you have some odd ducks in yours, so discussing it here and there will help prepare her for whatever is coming. Keeping her up to date on family members will also help discussion with them go more smoothly for her. This is also a good time to find out if her family is a group of people you want to be around forever.
12. Most happy moments
Something as simple as asking her when she feels her happiest can open up a floodgate of information. If she tells you that getting revenge on someone who did her wrong makes her the happiest, then you may want to keep an eye on that. If she tells you that looking at the sunset between the ears of a horse makes her happiest, then you know that she loves freedom, horses, and sunsets. It also gives you a good idea of what to ask her about later.
Consider it like playing a game. Each of you tells a secret in turn until you run out of things you want to share. You can find out some amazing information from a person’s secrets and some of that information is need-to-know. Sharing your secrets will also make her feel like you’re trustworthy and take her seriously.
14. Likes and dislikes are very important to know in the person you are dating
You don’t want to keep buying her roses if she hates them. Telling her some of your likes and dislike as well as asking her about hers can help you learn a lot about her and her personality. Just try naming random things out loud and have her say like or dislike. Then, it’s her turn. This conversation can also get pretty naughty, pretty fast.
15. Offer to help her with something
Even if it’s as simple as going to her place and helping with the dishes, doing it together can help the intimacy between you grow as well as allow you to be around her more. This is a good practice to upkeep because it will make her feel more appreciated and special. Make sure that you are not the only one in the relationship going out of your way though or you may have a problem.
16. Personal opinions are also a great window to her soul
Tell her about some of your and ask about hers in return. Just be careful here and start out in shallow waters. You don’t want to dive right into politics or you may end up sinking. Keep it light by asking her how she feels about celebrities or causes before you dig too deep.
17. Discuss your first date and what about it stood out to you
Set a date to try and repeat it and see what all changes. You can even make a game out of it and have, yet another, date night preplanned. Reliving your first date can also help foster intimacy as well as reconnect you to why you enjoy being around each other so much.
18. Weekend plans
Talking about what you’re planning on doing this weekend will allow her to have some input and make her feel included. Better yet, plan something together and spend the week talking about it so that the excitement builds before the weekend. By the time it comes, you’ll both be so excited you can hardly stand it.
Compliment her by pointing out something that she did lately that you loved. If you saw her help an elderly lady get out of her car, tell her you loved seeing the respect she displayed. And that it made you respect her more. You can even pick out a piece of her personality and complement it.
Tell her that you love how she can joke about herself and not get bent out of shape about being teased. Women love to hear about the things they are doing right because it builds their self-confidence and lets them know that you’re paying attention to them.
20. Discuss your health
If you have diabetes, asthma, or a peanut allergy, that it something she needs to know in case it is ever an emergency. Having fought through an illness can also help her to understand your character and vice-versa. Be sure to ask her about her health as well so that you can return the favor.
Telling each other what your favorite places to be touched are can not only help you out in bed, but can get both of you pretty worked up. Sharing information like your fantasies and favorite positions can help grow the intimacy between you. Plus, you just might get your wish. You never know, you might even share the exact same fantasy and get to enjoy it together.
22. Bedroom problems can create havoc in a relationship
The longer you ignore them, the worse they get and ignoring them can bite you in the rear. If you aren’t feeling it lately, or notice that she isn’t, bring it up and ask her what you can do to change it. Most of the time, bedroom problems are only symptoms of something else and are in no way related to your performance. The only way to solve the riddle of what caused the problems is to sit down together and discuss it.