When you are dating a guy, you want to spend as much time with him as possible. Unfortunately, your dreams are not always the same as your boyfriends. When the guy you’ve been dating says, “We’re moving too fast and need to take a step back,” how do you proceed with him? Is it a sign that your relationship is over for good or is there still hope for your future romance?
In many cases, the best option is to just listen to him. Let him initiate most of the phone calls, texts and dates for a few weeks so that he does not feel like you are pressuring him to see you or to commit. This will also give you a chance to see how interested he actually is. If his, “we’re moving too fast and need to take a step back,” was code for a break up, he will not reach out to you at all. If he does call, text or see you during that time, then he genuinely meant that he just wanted to take things slower.
This is also a time when you should consider the “exclusive or not” talk. If he wants to take a step back from the relationship and date around, then it is only fair that you can do so as well. Be careful though. If he just wants space, he might expect you to remain exclusive. You need to make sure that both of you are or are not exclusive so that you do not misjudge what you can and cannot do. If he thinks you are both exclusive and just taking space, then dating someone else will be viewed as cheating.
Why Does This Happen?
There are many reasons why a guy might say that you are moving too fast and need to take a step back. The most obvious, and common, reason is that he thinks you are moving too fast. Early on tin the relationship, people often become entirely infatuated with their date. They want to spend every moment with each other. This is fine for a while, but over time, you stop seeing your friends or enjoying your favorite hobbies.
Sooner or later, your guy may realize that he just needs time to himself. He has jumped into the relationship too fast, and he wants to make sure that he still has time to hang out with his friends or family members. If this is the reason why he wants some space, don’t panic. He just needs time to be himself.
He Is Afraid of Commitment
Another common reason why a guy wants to take a step back is fear. If things are getting hot and heavy too fast, then he may be afraid of where the relationship is going. He might not have considered a commitment before, so now he is suddenly confronted with that possibility. It is only natural to be a bit scared. A commitment could change his entire life, and he is smart not to take it too lightly. He wants to make sure that you are the right one and that he is truly ready for a commitment before he wastes your time.
He Wants to Play the Field
Some guys and gals are players that just want to play the field. Good guys will just tell you that they want a sexual, casual fling. Unfortunately, some guys are afraid of telling you what they want because of how you would react. When things start to get too serious, he tries to cool the relationship down by telling you that he needs space.
He Isn’t Interested
If he is afraid of actually breaking up with you, he might say things like, “we’re moving too fast, need to take a step back,” as a hint. He is afraid of just saying how he feels, so he is trying to gradually unwind the relationship.
How Should You Proceed?
How you proceed depends on the reason. If he just wants to have time for himself or time to think about whether he wants a commitment, give him that space. He wants to make sure that he is making the right decision and living a balanced life. If you give him the space and he chooses to have the relationship, he will be in a much better place as a partner.
If he is trying to cool off the relationship or hint that he wants to move on, then you have to cut your losses. He might be trying to hint that he is done with the relationship, so you should take the hint and move on. Make sure that you are certain about this before you proceed though because you might not get a second chance to date him if all he really wanted was space.