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He Never Initiates Anything


You thought that you were dating the guy. When you are together, all you do is laugh and the hours fly by. He is funny, cute and seems completely interested in you. When you go on a date, everything is perfect. The only problem is that he never initiates anything. Whether it is a text or a date, you are always the one who initiates everything. He responds when he has the time, but that is all you get from him. 

There are a number of reasons why he might not initiate anything. Before you jump to conclusions, you have to figure out the reason why he never initiates anything.

1. He Is Shy

When you like someone, you feel awkward and shy around them. Even if he is not normally shy, he can be shy when it comes to you. He might like you intensely, but he is afraid that he will scare you off if he texts you all the time. Even when he tries to ask you out, he doesn’t know what to say about it. If this is the reason why he never initiates anything, you just have to wait. Once he is more comfortable around you, he will find it much easier to show you how he really feels.

2. He Is Forgetful or Busy

While you remember every detail of your life and always show up on time, not everyone is the same way. He might not be trying to ignore you or play some type of mind game. He might just have other things on his mind. If he is busy at work or has other things to think about, it might have slipped his mind. It doesn’t mean that he is not interested in you. He just can’t find the time to do everything that he needs to do, and he sometimes forgets about things.

3. He Is Trying to Play Hard to Get

Playing hard to get is never a smart dating move because it tends to backfire. Obviously, it may have backfired in this case because you are starting to think that something is wrong because he never initiates. While it might have been a poor move on his part, it is possible that he is playing hard to get. Now, the only problem is if you want to date him. He is either manipulating you through mind games or too immature to just start a normal relationship. Either way, you might want to decide if he is really worth your time.

4. He Is Not Interested

When someone never initiates anything, you naturally start to wonder if he is interested in you or not. While there may be other reasons behind his behavior, this is certainly an option. He might just view you as a late night booty call or someone to just have some fun with. Or, he is thinking that the relationship was a bad idea and wants to end things. It is certainly possible that he is not interested if he never initiates things—and this is especially true if he rarely responds to your texts or does not seem excited about the idea of going on another date with you.

5. He Is Trying to Be a Gentleman

Another possibility is that he is trying to be the perfect gentleman. He doesn’t want to get you into bed or push you into a date because he wants you to be comfortable. He might have had friends or sisters who told him about a terrible boyfriend who pressured his girlfriend into things that she did not want to do. With this in mind, he is trying to avoid pressuring you into anything. Unfortunately for him, his gentlemanly behavior has made you wonder why he never initiates anything instead of just thinking that he wants to show his respect and affection for you.

6. It’s His Personality

When you are together, is it for a night of video games or Netflix? If he normally texts you and is generally attentive when you are together, then his lack of initiation for dates might be because of his personality. Some people like a night out on the town or going on adventures. Other people are home bodies who just like to relax at home with someone they love. There is nothing wrong with this, but it can make a relationship hard if you both have different interests and needs for the relationship.

What to Do Now

If he never initiates anything because he does not like you, then your best option is to move on. If his behavior is because of one of the other reasons on the list, then you should talk to him about it. The best relationships are based on open communication, honesty and trust. Tell him how you feel and listen to what he says. If you are not at that stage yet in the relationship, he might just be shy, so just be patient.


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