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He Never Texts First But Always Replies. What Does It Mean?

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So, you meet this guy. He’s cute, funny and seems interested. You exchange phone numbers with him and end up texting a bit back and forth. Then, you notice something a little strange. YOU are the one who is always texting HIM.

He never initiates his texts, but he always replies when you text first. If you’re trying to figure out what that could possibly mean, you’re not the only one. This is a common enough problem that girls from all over are turning to the internet to figure out what solution. So what does that mean?

Well, there could be quite a few reasons. Men aren’t all that mysterious, so here’s some tips on what it could possibly mean when a guy answers your texts, but never takes the initiative to text first.

1. He’s just not interested

Let’s get the hard one out of the way first. If a guy doesn’t send you a text first, but always seems to be able to respond, it could possibly mean you’re not really crossing his thoughts until he see’s that text notification from you.

He’s probably happy to string you along and make him seem interested by always replying, but he most likely has something- or someone -else that has his attention more than you. If you stop texting him and he doesn’t reach back out to you, then he’s definitely not worth it.

In reality, he’s probably got a few girls that he’s got texting him and think the exact same thing as you. You’ll be better off finding someone who can’t wait to text you first.

2. He’s shy

When you send out that first text, do you feel that little flutter in your stomach, maybe feeling a little nervous? Guys totally get that too, no matter how much they want to pretend that they have a range of one-to-three emotions. Men get shy, too.



Sometimes, sending that first text is so daunting that he just doesn’t take the leap. He might feel like he doesn’t want to bother you, or that he’s annoying you if he texts first. You can try alleviating this by making sure he knows that you’re interested in him, and that you would love it if you two could get closer and spend more time together.

Once he knows that you’re interested and that he’s not actually annoying you, he might loosen up and start sending a few texts first.

3. He’s interested, but he’s playing hard to get

If this is the case, he’s doing it pretty poorly, or he just doesn’t know the fine and subtle art of playing hard to get. You can try sussing out if he’s really interested by refusing to text him a few days and see if he caves.

If he’s really interested and just seeing how hard you’ll chase him, he’ll probably break after the first day. Or, if you’re not into games, you can just make it clear you’re interested in him. If he’s really interested in you, too, he’ll probably give up his game.

If he doesn’t, then he just doesn’t know when it’s time to put games away, and you’ll probably be better off with a guy who’s straightforward with you about his feelings.

4. He’s a gentleman and wants to let you take the lead

Possibly, this guy isn’t sending you texts first because he wants to make sure you’re comfortable with the amount of conversation. Some guys can be really self aware, and this is totally a good thing.

He could be very interested in you, but doesn’t want to pressure you into anything and has decided that the best way to do that is to make sure you’re the one initiating contact.

Again, being able to openly communicate how you feel with him will make him more comfortable with texting you first a few times. This is the reason you want to hope for when trying to contemplate why he doesn’t text you first.



5. He’s just forgetful

Maybe he isn’t maliciously ignoring you, and maybe he isn’t playing a game. The reason for his lack of first texts could be as simple as this: he’s just forgetful! What type of job does he do? Does he work hard every day, consistently going over the 40 hour work week? Or maybe he works on his feet all day.

It can be hard to remember what your phone even looks like when you have a hundred different things going on around you all day. I’ve definitely meant to send several texts throughout the day and having them end up unsent due to a busy schedule.

So, try to cut him some slack. He’s probably super interested, but there’s a lot of things competing for his attention.

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114 COMMENTS

  1. I started talking to thugs guy via Pof. We messaged back and forth all day and night, then we started talking on the phone. We talk everyday for a week, and finally after a few weeks I asked him out. Well the day comes and he said he had to Change the date. That day comes and I dont hear from him. A few days later I confront him about it and he says that his best friend is going through a divorce and he wanted to be there for him, and he didn’t think I would believe him. So we text and I always initiate the convo and we have a lot in common and are able to keep a conversation. I haven’t heard from him in a few days and don’t know what to do.

    • He is busy. His friend is going through a divorce. He has shared his thoughts and reasons with you. Give him an opportunity to support his friend. Support him by sharing your kindness and compassion with him. You may attempt to spend time with him in person. This may reduce his stress at this time. Have a great day, Nicole!

  2. Hey again! I really need help. My crush never texts first but he replies whenever I text him first. But the thing is, he hardly knows any girls and he always waves first when we walk by each other in the hallway. (He does seem shy around me sometimes.) Before we had the best conversations but now, not anymore. Could it mean that he’s just shy about texting me first now?

    • It is possible that your relationship is developing and changing. It is possible this feelings for you are being influenced. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. You may find benefit in reaching out to him. It is likely that your relationship with strengthen if you spend additional time with him in person. Have a great day, Sunshine!

  3. So I like this guy, he is really good to me and stuff. I feel like he’s really interested in me but he won’t react to anything. If I text him within few minutes he texts back. Since the day I started to text on insta he kept coming online often and then I saw he had been liking all these quotes one of them was ‘there’s so much I want to say, but nah!’ he is me sending me all these signals and I’m really confused. And also he belongs to a different nationality. So is that the reason he’s backing out?

    • It is possible that he is interested in developing a relationship with you. Cultural differences may cause his actions to seem confusing. Determine what you want for this relationship. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. It would be best to speak with him in person. You will be able to communicate through cultural and national differences. Have a great day, Pumpkin!

  4. Hi there
    I met guy online we text back forth for 3 months then met and had sex on first date. Now he text me once I text him he makes future plans to see me again. Not sure what to do if I should keep texting him or stop coz he does not initiate convo the way he used to do. He is Taurus man bit stubborn at times. Please suggest what should I do

    • The two of you have decided to make plans. You feel a social and emotional connection with him. You are developing a romantic relationship with him. Share your thoughts and feelings, and give him an chance to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Elwa!

  5. Hey, so I tried reconnecting with an old friend from school. From the few conversations we’ve had, he has only instigated it once and that was on my birthday. We even kinda flirted. I’m honestly okay with just being friends or more than, if that’s what he wants, but I feel weird for always having to message him even though he replies enthusiastically. I’m not exactly sure what to do. He’s been busy, but told me to keep him to his promise of making it up to me since he couldn’t make my birthday dinner. My gut says he’s sincere but I’m not entirely sure. What do you think? Any advise would be helpful!

    • It is likely that he feels a social and emotional connection with you. He may be interested in maintaining a friendship or he may want to nourish a romantic relationship. He may be shy or he may not be certain about your feelings toward him. Determine what you want for your future and speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Sam!

  6. Hey, so I tried reconnecting with an old friend from school. From the few conversations we’ve had, he has only instigated it once and that was on my birthday. We even kinda flirted. I’m honestly okay with just being friends or more than, if that’s what he wants, but I feel weird for always having to message him even though he replies enthusiastically. I’m not exactly sure what to do. He’s been busy, but told me to keep him to his promise of making it up to me since he couldn’t make my birthday dinner. My gut says he’s sincere but I’m not entirely sure. What do you think? Any advise would be helpful!

    • It is likely that he feels a social and emotional connection with you. He may be interested in maintaining a friendship or he may want to nourish a romantic relationship. He may be shy or he may not be certain about your feelings toward him. Determine what you want for your future and speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Sam!

  7. In the last few months, I’ve reached out to an old friend from school. Back then, we kind of liked each other, but neither one of us acted on it. While it’s been a while, he replied and seemed to enjoy the conversation. Although the few times that we have texted, I’m usually the one always texting first. I know he’s been busy, he told me about this ridiculous accident he had gotten into where his car was completely totaled. I had invited him to a party, but he couldn’t make it because of work. That was the first time he instigated the conversation, and during it, we flirted a little. He told me he’d make it up to me… He said I needed to check out his new place, and that his promise of making it up to me was set in stone and that I should keep him to his promise. Now, I’m not sure what to do. Would it be wrong to actually keep him to his word since that’s what he told me to do? Or, should I just let it go? My past experience with him, while we were friends in school, tells me that he isn’t a keen texter so I shouldn’t feel bad about it. I don’t want to come off as too clingy or desperate. Speaking to him these last few times reminded me why I enjoyed his company. I don’t know what to do. Do you have any suggestions?

    • He shared his thoughts and feelings with you. He asked you to come to his house. He does not initiate conversations often. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. If you want to nourish a relationship with him, then you will likely need to reach out to him first. Perhaps attempt to spend time with him in person. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Anon!

      • Hi, so I took your advice (Thank you btw) and we ended up spending some time together. It was really nice: we talked, laughed, and he ended up buying dinner for me and driving me home. While we were together, he made it quite clear that he’s super bad at making plans and what not, but he’ll be direct if he doesn’t want to do something. Would it be wrong to be the one who texts first and make the plans? And, is there a time frame? Personally, I’ve always thought the “wait a three days before texting” a dumb thing… I just don’t want to appear too pushy. Thanks again!

        • He has shared his lack of ability to make plans with you. It would be beneficial for your relationship if you were to reach out to him. Reach out to him at this time. If he does not communicate right away, it may because of various influences in his life. You may find benefit in attempting to ask him if he wants to see you at that time. He will likely want to spend time with you in person. Thank you for sharing your experiences and supportive comment. Have a great day, Anon!

  8. Hi theirs a guy I really like and we always talk but he never texts first , but always replies first. We have deep and meaningful conversations and I can’t really tell if he likes me at he always says to other girls that he never has time to date. But he alaways tells me things about his family etc what should I do if he says he hardly has time to date

    • There are many types of people. Some people do not like initiating conversations. Some people are more open in person and more private when apart. The two of you share a strong intellectual and emotional connection. He has shared that he does not have time to nourish a relationship. Continue to share your kindness and compassion with him. Your relationship will strengthen as you spend additional time with him in person. Have a great day, Confused!

  9. I worked with this guy for months. We decided to start dating and after a few weeks in he had knee surgery. At first he would text me first and we would text back and forth all day, every day. We would meet up after work a few times a week to see each other. After his surgery, I would text him every day to check on him. After a little over a month of dating and after being asked about being his girlfriend, he got tired of asking and told me I was his girlfriend, which I didn’t object. We talked about our expectations and decided we would see where the relationship took us. Well, since his surgery (the beginning of April), I initiate all contact. If I don’t, we don’t speak. I questioned what was going on and he said the surgery has been mentally draining. However, it’s been over a month since the surgery and it seems like our text conversations are getting shorter to nonexistent and we rarely see each other(I’ve seen him 4 times since the surgery, me telling him I’m coming to see him). Now, he always have something to do or he’s tired. Should I just back off and give him space and let him focus on his recovery or is there another another reason why he is distant?

    • It is possible that he is emotionally drained. He may not want to nourish a relationship at this time. It is possible that he is confused or uncertain about his future. Other people may be helping and influencing him at this time. Speak with him in person. Share your thoughts and feelings with him. Have a great day, Caprice!

  10. Hopefully this is not a repost. I have been seeing this guy for a little over 2 months. We worked together for months and decided to date. He would text me every day and we would meet a few times each week when we first started talking. He’s invited me to his game, I’ve met a few friends, business partners, and his brother. He has also met my best friend and my sister. 3 weeks into dating, he had knee surgery. 5 weeks into dating, (2 1/2 weeks) post-surgery, he “told” me that I was his girlfriend, which I didn’t object to. This was after asking a few times and me not giving him an answer. We sat down and had a conversation about expectations, do’s and don’ts, and decided to see where the relationship would take us. However, since the surgery, he has not initiated contact. I contacted him everyday since the day of his surgery until recently (I skip a few days every now and then now). It seems that he has become distant and am not a focus of his. I also think it’s weird because he told me about being in a relationship with me after his surgery. I try to go a few days without contacting him just to see if he contacts me first and he doesn’t. One day I asked what was wrong and he said that the surgery has been really mentally draining. I know he has physical therapy during the week and exercises he has to do a home. He is a fighter and wants to be back fighting before the fall, so he is really pushing himself to recover quickly. I’m not sure if I should back off and let him focus on his recovery or should I still initiate contact to show that I care and support him. I don’t want to seem like a nag or too pushy, but I don’t want to seem like i don’t care either. What should I do?

    • There are many types of people. Some people do not like initiating conversations. Some people are more open in person and more private when apart. The two of you share a strong intellectual and emotional connection. He has shared that he does not have time to nourish a relationship. Continue to share your kindness and compassion with him. Your relationship will strengthen as you spend additional time with him in person. Have a great day, Confused!

  11. I text him first, We text alot for 3 days but after I said I have a feeling for you and he said he might have a feeling for me too, but he didn’t text me for 3 days. I don’t know if he’s still interest in me or no

    • It is possible that he is not the type of person who messages first. He may not have felt certain about your feelings toward him, and that might have caused him to not reach out to you. The two of you shared your feelings with each other. Attempt to spend additional time with him in person, as this will strengthen your relationship. Have a great day, Nina!

  12. Comment:hey,I met this guy in campus ,he was the first to text me for a while but now I’m the one texting first.we can go for weeks without texting but when i text him,he replys instantly.in class he gives me all this signals. Is he playing with my head?

    • It is possible that he is interested in developing a relationship with you. He may be the kind of person who does not initiate conversation. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Attempt to spend additional time with him in person. Have a great day, Samantha!

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