Home Love & Relationship He Never Texts First But Always Replies. What Does It Mean?

He Never Texts First But Always Replies. What Does It Mean?

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So, you meet this guy. He’s cute, funny and seems interested. You exchange phone numbers with him and end up texting a bit back and forth. Then, you notice something a little strange. YOU are the one who is always texting HIM.

He never initiates his texts, but he always replies when you text first. If you’re trying to figure out what that could possibly mean, you’re not the only one. This is a common enough problem that girls from all over are turning to the internet to figure out what solution. So what does that mean?

Well, there could be quite a few reasons. Men aren’t all that mysterious, so here’s some tips on what it could possibly mean when a guy answers your texts, but never takes the initiative to text first.

1. He’s just not interested

Let’s get the hard one out of the way first. If a guy doesn’t send you a text first, but always seems to be able to respond, it could possibly mean you’re not really crossing his thoughts until he see’s that text notification from you.

He’s probably happy to string you along and make him seem interested by always replying, but he most likely has something- or someone -else that has his attention more than you. If you stop texting him and he doesn’t reach back out to you, then he’s definitely not worth it.

In reality, he’s probably got a few girls that he’s got texting him and think the exact same thing as you. You’ll be better off finding someone who can’t wait to text you first.

2. He’s shy

When you send out that first text, do you feel that little flutter in your stomach, maybe feeling a little nervous? Guys totally get that too, no matter how much they want to pretend that they have a range of one-to-three emotions. Men get shy, too.

Sometimes, sending that first text is so daunting that he just doesn’t take the leap. He might feel like he doesn’t want to bother you, or that he’s annoying you if he texts first. You can try alleviating this by making sure he knows that you’re interested in him, and that you would love it if you two could get closer and spend more time together.

Once he knows that you’re interested and that he’s not actually annoying you, he might loosen up and start sending a few texts first.

3. He’s interested, but he’s playing hard to get

If this is the case, he’s doing it pretty poorly, or he just doesn’t know the fine and subtle art of playing hard to get. You can try sussing out if he’s really interested by refusing to text him a few days and see if he caves.

If he’s really interested and just seeing how hard you’ll chase him, he’ll probably break after the first day. Or, if you’re not into games, you can just make it clear you’re interested in him. If he’s really interested in you, too, he’ll probably give up his game.

If he doesn’t, then he just doesn’t know when it’s time to put games away, and you’ll probably be better off with a guy who’s straightforward with you about his feelings.

4. He’s a gentleman and wants to let you take the lead

Possibly, this guy isn’t sending you texts first because he wants to make sure you’re comfortable with the amount of conversation. Some guys can be really self aware, and this is totally a good thing.

He could be very interested in you, but doesn’t want to pressure you into anything and has decided that the best way to do that is to make sure you’re the one initiating contact.

Again, being able to openly communicate how you feel with him will make him more comfortable with texting you first a few times. This is the reason you want to hope for when trying to contemplate why he doesn’t text you first.

5. He’s just forgetful

Maybe he isn’t maliciously ignoring you, and maybe he isn’t playing a game. The reason for his lack of first texts could be as simple as this: he’s just forgetful! What type of job does he do? Does he work hard every day, consistently going over the 40 hour work week? Or maybe he works on his feet all day.

It can be hard to remember what your phone even looks like when you have a hundred different things going on around you all day. I’ve definitely meant to send several texts throughout the day and having them end up unsent due to a busy schedule.

So, try to cut him some slack. He’s probably super interested, but there’s a lot of things competing for his attention.

140 COMMENTS

  1. Hello there! I met this guy about 2 months ago my birthday weekend! We spotted eachother and couldn’t take our eyes off eachother. My friend then tells me that she knows him. He called her over to him and they spoke, he asked who I was and she told him and she told him I wanted to speak to him and we chatted and connected from there.

    He texted me, called me, and FT’d me a lot. At times I would play hard to get by not answering immediately.

    As time went by, we went on a date and it was wonderful! We were bonding quite nicely! After that, we had game night at my house! We would made it a point to see eachother atleast once or twice a week!

    He introduced me to his friends and they were sweet!

    After this, there was a communication mix up where I read his text message wrong and completely blew it out of proportion. I apologized to him and told him that my reaction stemed from a situation that happened in my past. He forgave me and we saw eachother from there and things actually got better from there.

    Now lately, he doesn’t text or call me anymore. I’ve been initiating. We did sleep together, which we said we would not do because we wanted more from eachother but, our attraction locked us in. He stated first out his mouth that he wanted more from us.

    He said he wants to be in a serious and real relationship and he wanted that with me. I then asked him why he wanted to be in a relationship, he said he did not know. I told him that’s a dangerous place to be in if he does not know why.

    He started texting and calling less to now nothing at all. I sent him a text saying if he’s talking to someone else or if I did something to cause him to not want to talk to me, tell me so I can move accordingly. We saw eachother that day and he said he’d respond to my message, still hasn’t until this day. I haven’t heard from him in 3 days. He told me 3 days ago he was busy with school, he graduates with this second degree in Dec, he plays football and travels every weekend with that, and has a son. Should I reach out or just leave him alone?

    I don’t want to chase him but, I want to forget about him completely or block him for my peace of mind if he just used me. I don’t know what to think.

    • He is busy and has informed you of his thoughts and feelings. You do not need to block him, as you can simply choose to not communicate with him. He is not reaching out to you, so do not reach out to him. If he reaches out to you, then speak with him about your thoughts and feelings at this time. You will find great benefit in focusing your emotional energy elsewhere. Have a great day, Kay!

  2. Hello there!
    I’ve met this guy at a birthday gathering. He seemed kinda shy because he was mostly talking to his sister. I decided to approach him and start a conversation. We bonded over talking about our future plans and where we want to go. He was great at replying to me but only asked me one question after our conversation sort of died down.Anyway we followed each other on instagram that night.
    A few months later, I decided to start a conversation he was great at replying, giving pretty detailed answers but again only asked one question. He doesn’t reply right away but I don’t either (because I do not want to give the impression that I’m just waiting for his text 😂) after that I didn’t want to take a risk of being seen as annoying or clingy so I decided not to continue conversing.
    About a month later, he responded to a poll I had on Instagram saying that he’s coming to a music festival. I asked him who he was excited to see and he mentioned he didn’t know anyone and he’s just going because his friends asked him to go for it. So I offered to recommend some songs according to his preferred genre of music. I made him a playlist and he seemed to like it. He said he’s finally excited to go for the music festival and that the playlist is so soothing. Again he would reply to my messages, without any signs of losing interest but he wouldn’t ask me a question. Our conversation is sort of at a dead end where I said ‘thank you!! ” and he replied with a ” 👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼”.
    What do I do know, what does this mean? 😭Im so confused but I want this to work out.

    • It sounds as though the two of you are maintaining a strong social relationship. He may be interested in spending time with you in person to nourish your connection. Determine what you want for your future. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. You will find benefit in attempting to visit him in person. Have a great day, Alana!

  3. Hello there!
    I’ve met this guy at a birthday gathering. He seemed kinda shy because he was mostly talking to his sister. I decided to approach him and start a conversation. We bonded over talking about our future plans and where we want to go. He was great at replying to me but only asked me one question after our conversation sort of died down.Anyway we followed each other on instagram that night.
    A few months later, I decided to start a conversation he was great at replying, giving pretty detailed answers but again only asked one question. He doesn’t reply right away but I don’t either (because I do not want to give the impression that I’m just waiting for his text 😂) after that I didn’t want to take a risk of being seen as annoying or clingy so I decided not to continue conversing.
    About a month later, he responded to a poll I had on Instagram saying that he’s coming to a music festival. I asked him who he was excited to see and he mentioned he didn’t know anyone and he’s just going because his friends asked him to go for it. So I offered to recommend some songs according to his preferred genre of music. I made him a playlist and he seemed to like it. He said he’s finally excited to go for the music festival and that the playlist is so soothing. Again he would reply to my messages, without any signs of losing interest but he wouldn’t ask me a question. Our conversation is sort of at a dead end where I said ‘thank you!! ” and he replied with a ” 👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼”.
    What do I do know, what does this mean? 😭Im so confused but I want this to work out.

    • It sounds as though the two of you are maintaining a strong social relationship. He may be interested in spending time with you in person to nourish your connection. Determine what you want for your future. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. You will find benefit in attempting to visit him in person. Have a great day, Alana!

  4. hi, I met this guy at a event for singles. He and I come from different country. And we are different skin too.
    We exchanged numbers. He initiated first message to me. Thereafter, he did not initiated to text me. I initiated to text first after a few days. In 1 week, he initiated 2 times but I initiated for 3 times. He always replied slow but in long messages and very happy way. There was a time that i texted him in 3rd day. He said he is happy to hear from me. He always tell me in advance what he is busy during weekends. But he never initiate to ask me out.
    is he playing me or not interested in me? why he never initiate to text me first? I am so tired over this kind of mind game.
    thanks

    • He is not playing with you. He may be busy or he may be uncertain about his feelings. Some people initiate conversations, and some people do not. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Nourish this relationship by spending additional time with him in person. If you are concerned about games in relationships, then you will find benefit in sharing your kindness and compassion with everyone in your life. Have a great day, Twinky!

  5. Hey there, there’s this guy that I met a few months ago, and we became friendly and playful almost immediately. We used to text each other, but it was mostly him initiating a conversation. Eventually this stopped one time when I was initiating a conversation and was unsatisfied with the lack of a good reply. I stopped starting the conversation first to see if he would and he didn’t; only just recently (after almost 2 months) have I decided to initiate again, where we had a good conversation. He hasn’t said anything after that and I might be overreacting, but I just have a feeling that if I leave it then we’ll stop talking to each other at all.
    I should also mention that he did show signs of being interested back when we were both talking to each other, and had asked if I wanted to hang out one time. Do you think he may have lost interest, or is there still a chance if I strike up the conversation or ask to hang out first this time?

    • The two of you share a social relationship. Maintaining relationships over text messages can be difficult. Often times people feel that the conversation dies when it is only over the phone or computer. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Spend additional time with him in person, as this will nourish your relationship. Have a great day, Shay!

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