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He Says He Just Wants To Be Friends, But His Actions Show Differently


Men send confusing signals all the time. Too bad we can’t all be mind readers, right? That would definitely make life so much easier for us, wouldn’t it? Unfortunately we can’t! It’s just not possible. Unless you’re a psychic of some sort of course. But what are the chances of that? Probably slim to none.

Instead of just expecting them to tell us what is going on in their very handsome skulls (because let’s face it, men are terrible at expressing their emotions… Well, most of them anyways) we have to put in some effort and do some digging. So that means that it’s very important to pay attention to not only what a guy is saying to us, but what his body language is telling us as well. We have to master the art of all language when it comes to men. But there can be a slight problem with that. He might be saying one thing, but his body might be saying something completely, and frustratingly, different.

He says he doesn't want a relationship but actions say otherwise

Sadly this happens all the time. Like when a guy says he just wants to be friends with you, but his actions say something entirely different.  His body is saying, “Hey, I kind of dig you.” While his words are saying, “I don’t think we should take this to the next level.”

Why!? Why would he put you through this torture and do this?

The answer is actually pretty simple. He doesn’t really know what he wants.

Let’s go over some of the reasons that he might be putting you through this mess. What on Earth could possibly make him act so cruel and confusing? Don’t worry, there’s an explanation for everything. Yes, even including this.

First you need to think about whether or not he is showing you actual signs of liking you or if you’re mistaking friendliness for flirtiness. How do you do that? Read these following signs to help you out.

Signs He Likes You As More Than Just A Friend


He Spends Time With Only You: This is the number one sign that a guy actually likes you as more than friends. He will not give his focus or attention to any other girls than you. So, if you catch him saying he wants to be friends, keep an eye out to see if he has other girl friends or not. Because if he doesn’t, he is probably harboring some strong feelings for you.

He Texts You In The Morning and At Night: Sure friends like to keep in contact with their friends, but when a friend of the opposite sex is talking to you almost constantly something is definitely up. He might be trying to hide his emotions by telling you he doesn’t like you, but if he is wishing you a good morning and a good night everyday then he probably likes you more than he is letting on.

He Surprises You: Now, you should be weary of this one, because this is something that friends do as well. However, if you notice he is consistently surprising you and thinking of you all the time then there might be a strong chance he is lying about the way he feels towards you.

He Gets Intimate With You: As in he isn’t just flirty or friendly, but he actually gets a little bit physical towards you. You might notice that he is always looking for every excuse to be as close to you as possible. He will sit right next to you and ensure that your legs are touching. He will touch your arm, elbow or knee while the two of you are talking. He might even go as far as to brush hair out of your face or play with your hair when you are near him. These are all strong signs that he likes you as more than a friend… Even if he is saying he doesn’t.

Next we’ll walk you through the reasons that he might be acting this strange way towards you.

Reasons He Says He Wants To Be Friends, But His Actions Show Differently

He Doesn’t Want To Ruin Your Friendship: He might tell you that he doesn’t want to be more than friends, but if his actions, words and body language are saying otherwise then there is a good chance he is just saying these things because he doesn’t want to ruin your friendship. When you two are such good friends he might be scared that if you take things to the next level you will ruin everything. You can’t blame him, because it is definitely a legitimate fear to have. Once you cross that line into more than friends it’s going to be extremely hard to come back ever again.

He’s Just A Flirty Guy: Or he might actually not be interested at all in you. Why? Because he’s just an overly flirty guy. The best thing to do in this situation is to tell him that he is confusing you with his outgoing personality. Tell him that he is coming off the wrong way and sending the wrong signals. Hopefully that gets his words and actions leveled out.

He’s Just Not Ready… Yet: The last reason we can think of as to why he might say he wants to stay friends, but he acts differently is that he likes you but he just isn’t ready to take things to the next level. Some people have severe fears of commitment. It might just take him a little longer to get there!


  1. Both of us our classmates and spend all our time together, from morning till late night you will find us together.
    We do everything together – study,eat,play. The only time we stay away from each other is when we go to sleep.

    Recently I started having feelings for him but never told him about it as it could ruin our friendship

    But one day when we were just hanging around at a park late evening and He almost kissed me, our lips were brushing against each other but then he started pushing himself away from me, telling me to say him to “Stop it” but I told him I didn’t wanna stop.
    But he somehow managed to push me away.

    We later had the discussion about what was going on and he said He didn’t know why he did it and that it shouldn’t have happened.
    But I told him that I had feelings for him.

    The very next day we went to the same park late at evening and he Kissed me and we made out.

    After a day after this incident he texts me and tells me that he will never do it again and tells me that a girl shouldn’t be so close to guy. He told me that he considered me only as a friend and nothing more.

    I told him that he is confused and he said he wasn’t.

    I believe he has feelings for me but he had a very bad relationship previously that made him lose his trust on people.

    I don’t know what to do anymore,I don’t know whether he wants to be friends with me or he is just afraid of getting into a relationship.

    • He has shared his thoughts and feelings with you. He is no longer interested in nourishing a romantic relationship with you. His behaviors will likely alter. Determine what you want for your future. Focus your emotional energy elsewhere. Share your positive energy with everyone in your life. Have a great day, Alexa!

  2. If a man cares, is loving & generous, yet says he just wants to be friends I believe there is a fear. you have one of two choices, invest the time in him as a friend or leave & pursue another relationship if you are strong enough to do this,

    • Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. Nourish relationships with those who share their kindness and compassion. Please feel free to share your insights and experiences in the future. Have a great day, Wee!

  3. I’ve recently been in touch with my ex husband (we are both single). I bought a ticket to visit him in europe for 3.5 weeks.
    We were emailing each other non stop, he bought and sent me luggage among other gifts. He also paid for my ticket to be changed. When I arrived at his home he had roses waiting, along with a sign, my photos on his door and was obviously so happy to see me.
    It’s been 8 years of not a lot of communication, both being in other relationships, and timing was perfect.
    We always loved each other & he was always generous and loving.
    He has also booked 2 getaways for us, we talk sexually and he says I’m all he thinks of.
    Here’s my comment, and I’m hoping someone can shed light on this because I can’t sleep & am really confused.
    Yesterday we were invited to go for 2 days to Germany to visit my son & his fiancé. This guys answer was “no no you can go but I don’t want to” I was blindsded & shut down.
    This morning as I didn’t sleep all night & truly wondered wth was going on, he abruptly said to me, “did you actually think we were getting back together?” I said, um yes, that by the hundreds of emails and calls we had obviously there were feelings, but thought we would do it slowly. I’m in Canada now. He said no we were just friends & he wanted to treat me to a nice vacay with him but didn’t mean to lead me astray.
    Not gonna lie, I’ve been crying all day and beating myself over the head for thinking we were getting back together.
    If I told you he commented on “I wonder if we’ll cry when you go, I would like to meet you I’m tomsnia for your sons wedding, so many things were said that lead to future togetherness.
    My mind is blown & I don’t know how to handle this situation. Should I go home,
    go stay with my son, I have no idea.
    Wth I’d happening here???
    I have 3 weeks left with him here.
    Please shed some light for me. I’m really upset with no one to talk to, and I’ve k own this guy for so long I’m not getting his behaviour.

    • It sounds as though he is not interested in rekindling this relationship. He likely wants to continue to nourish your physical relationship. Focus your emotional energy on your son. If you want maintain your relationship as it is, then continue to do so. If this is emotionally taxing, then determine what you want for your future. Have a great day, Wee!

  4. Thank you for your reply & I think I want to keep him in my life as long as I’m able to handle it.
    He provides affection, will do anything for me, we share thoughts & friendship, have many memories and although I feel confused I can’t help but wonder if his feelings could change during our 3 weeks together, but getting emotionally hurt is what may happen but I’m willing to take that chance I think.
    Why would he send gifts to me in Canada, put a large sum of money in my bank, buy me clothes, workout gear, flowers, take me to introduce me to his friends & is completely in awe of me & being with me physically? He said he would not do any of this for anyone else.
    We share thoughts & spend every waking hour together.
    Today he agreed to see my son which is a 3 hour train ride to Germany but he’ll go with me.
    Tell me again if this is purely physical or is this someone who maybe doesn’t want to get hurt?
    I’m not dismissing your reply, maybe I just have to do this again to read your response.

    • He is attempting to nourish a relationship with you and with your son. It is likely that he feels emotionally connection with you. He likely is interested in maintaining a physical relationship with you. Determine what you want for your future. You will find great benefit in spending additional time with him in person. Have a great day, Wee!

  5. my “friend” and i, we literally do everything together and i will sleep over for days at a time. i’m the only person he hangs out with, and he’s the only person i hang out with. he used to see another girl here and there but recently it’s only been me. i’m close with his family and he brings me literally everywhere but he refuses to admit we r anything more than friends. yet i have him acting like more than a boyfriend… what do i make of this situation?

    • The two of you have a strong emotional and social relationship. It is natural for the two of you to develop a relationship. Determine what you want for this relationship. You may want to speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. His family will likely support the development of this relationship. Have a great day, Sal!

  6. So I work with this guy who I am really attracted too he is younger than me. I never said anything to him due to the fact I still lived with my ex. So before incoukd get moved out he got a girlfriend so I never said anything. Then he adds me on social media sites after a week of non stop liking my stuff he send me a a direct message. We talk a little few days off and on for the first 2 weeks. Then he gives me his phone number I ask how his girlfriend will feel about it, (she don’t tell me what to do) so I test him at this point we are talking daily all day long before work at work after work weekends. He ask me if I’m going to be where he is we share the interest or how my weekend was , tells.me to cheer up, tries the weird things I drink or ear and will send me a picture of it, sometimes he will send me something that could be taken flirty. But after a months of talking he just mentioned his gf of 4 months lives with him the day after he told me he didn’t want to spend the weekend with her and he was going to the place we share in interest. I have no idea what is going on because i didn’t know they was that serious so now I feel very lost?!

    • He is in a relationship. He is attempting to develop a relationship while he has told someone else that he would be in a relationship with them. This is not the type of relationship that you want to develop. Allow thoughts of him to fade. Focus your emotional energy elsewhere. If he reaches out to you in the future, then share your thoughts and feelings with him. Have a great day, Kelsey!

  7. We have known each other for a month. The first date I was the one suggest sex and told him I don’t want pressures we did things and got on well He said he was really into me and wanted to meet again , I told him I don’t want a FWB or we should stop meeting if he wants to date me again I want a clean date, he said he d sleep on it and hit me up. The day after he said let’s go for a date without sex , but I was so dramatic on the 2 nd date bexseue I was drinking and a bit emotional , I feel like I like him more than FWB. But I don’t know why I can’t trust him so I told him don’t talk to me anymore blah blah. Then he was dumb becaming silent but finally we had a communication and things were sort out we met for the third time , we had sex and he wanted me to stay over and slept with him, but I told him I don’t feel like I want to sleep with him and I don’t want a a guy only want my body, then I back home. He was unhappy. And the next day I asked him he seem unhappy, he told he didn’t want me to leave but he has learnt he is standing out of my way when I want to do something, and then he became distant me I just can’t trust him always feel like he is meeting other girls ( actually he has many female friends) Whatever in the end he told me we fight and there are unnessarsy drama between us. We moved too fast and too quick he wants to remain friends Buy when he saw my status on moments. He asked me how I feel and how was my day like etc…… he said he wants a pumping for break. I agreed and said no problem nice meeting him etc …. he was a bit surprise and said glad that I wasn’t angry and want to remain friends. I didn’t responded him. The same night he sent me a msg : he is disappointed with a closed bar. I didn’t reply Then he sent a msg again asked me if I can go to join his drinking or meal. I still didn’t reply him. I don’t understand him. I don’t know if I have any chance we can develop or something…… so we only met three times and two times for sex.

    • It sounds as though you do not want to develop a purely physical relationship at this time. He may have his physical and emotional aspects of his character more entwined than yours. He is attempting to learn about your thoughts and feelings. He wants to care for you. He likely does not have an issue with developing a physical relationship. Have a great day, Lee!

      • Hey thank you for the reply Yea he has no problem with physical but my self esteem told me I deserve a serious relationship. But he said: he doesn’t want drama every week. We had issues then sorted out have fun have awesome sex and back to fight again. He said we don’t really know each other and he will respect me not having sex now. he wants to be friends. And it is me didn’t reply his last msg when he asked me about. Is there a chance we can develop or what should I do now to make things better ?

        • You shared your thoughts and feelings with him and he found your desires to be acceptable. He is interested in being your friend. He is not interested in developing a sexual relationship with you. You will likely find that his attention may drift elsewhere. He may be interested in developing a romantic relationship. If you find that this occurs, then allow your emotions to be focused elsewhere. Have a great day, Lee!

          • I was the one asked the sex for the first time and I found out I didn’t onky want sex. So I was dramatic. He said he didn’t want drama every week. I said I just want to take time to see if a man only like my body face or like who I am so I wasn’t meaning to being dramatic. Finally he suggest being friends and asked me am I okay with it. I even told him I know my problem and I was going to solve and improve. But he still said friendship is better. And then I said no prob etc. he asked me out that same night. I ignored his msg. And the day after that night he sent me a msg again asked me if would go to a bar for dinner and drink indirect but I rejected and being cold. I just don’t understand him…… I’m so confused

          • It is clear that you are confused and uncertain about this relationship. He attempted to spend additional time with you. You rejected him. You have made your decision and he is aware of your feelings. You have made the decision to not nourish this relationship. It is likely that he has decided to make other plans. Your window of opportunity to develop a relationship with him is closing, so take appropriate action at this time. Perhaps allow thoughts of him to fade and focus your emotional energy elsewhere. Have a great day, Lee!

  8. Do you think if a guy says let’s being friends now, but still hangout is a chance to see if each other have compatibility to develop a serious relationship or he just doesn’t want a relationship in the future …..

    • It is possible that he is interested in developing a relationship with you in the future. He is interested in being friends with you. He wants to nourish this relationship and see what occurs. Determine what you want for your future. Decide what you believe is appropriate for your relationship. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Perhaps spend additional time with him in person. Have a great day, Kris!

      • Hi I’m Kris an senior guy suggest me that don’t responded him to him within three days. Even when he msgs me again first because I was the one a bit earger to rush in a relationship but he said we still don’t really know each other. Stay friends now Should I be a bit cold and let him to chase me back and do things earns it so he can value me ?

        • He is attempting to nourish a relationship with you. He clearly is interested in developing this relationship. Your friends may want to make sure that he cares for you and is not only interested in a physical relationship. Determine what you want for your future. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Kris!

          • Hello he msged me again yesterday but he didn’t talk that much. He said he is tired and working hard. How come work on Saturday lol. I m sure I want a serious relationship. He is a foreigner in my country he told me that he always wants to find someone to make him better not settled. Does a serious relationship means settled ? I’m confused ! I don’t know what to do even I know what I want ….

          • Many people work on Saturdays, especially people who are often busy with work. It is possible that you are coming into contact with cultural differences that may be causing your confusion. A long term relationship may lead to settling down. Perhaps he is interested in marriage and a family. Have a great day, Kris!

          • I feel like he just mercy me so send me msg on Saturday or when he feels bored. And he didn’t say much just like greetings. Then I told him: I don’t want to see your msg if you just think us is pity so that you send me msg ….. and he didn’t reply. It is been a week we didn’t meet as being friends. Although the he asked me out. Now I feel like things has fade because I have been a bit reject him I’m afraid if he is with other girls now. Should I send him msg first and ask him out. But I’m afraid he won’t cherish me if I ask him out first ?

          • You told him that you wanted him to develop a relationship with your or no longer speak to you. He told you that he wanted to develop a relationship. You rejected him. He has decided to not speak with you and is attempting to develop relationships with other women. Do not reach out to you. Learn from this lesson. Share your kindness and compassion with everyone in your life. Have a great day, Kris!

          • He didn’t tell me he wanted to develope a relationship. He said let someone be friends and he asked me out. But I rejected. He is being cold but we still talked last night like friends. I admit my fault and he said I’m sweet about it. . He said he has been have a a hard time spinning me down and figuring me out What does it mean? And he probably go to another city for work.

          • He asked you out. This means that he told you that he wanted to develop a relationship with you. You rejected him. He is being cold because you rejected him. He has forgiven you as he understands your position. He is aware that there is no future romantic relationship with. Share your kindness and compassion with him. Have a great day, Kris!

  9. When a guy says slow down let’s be friends things are too fast what should I do to it ? I just can’t accept he is seeing other women even having sex with one !

    • He is currently maintaining various relationships. It is possible that he wants to nourish a relationship with you. He likely wants to maintain a physical relationship. He may care for you and does not want to hurt you. Do not attempt to maintain a relationship with him if he is currently sexually active with other people. Share your thoughts and feelings with him if he reaches out to you in the future. Have a great day, Rae!

  10. I am very confused with this guys behavior. We know each other for 7 years. Worked together and from the first day I was attracted to him and so he was to me. We hooked up soon after we met. Since then till now I have done lots of stupid things, I was going out with his friend couple of times, and with other guys, I wanted to try with someone new. He always told me he wasn’t good in relationships and so we never actually dated. He is very outgoing and flirty but I realized it too late, it literally broke my heart and that’s why I started to act like him. We have been fighting and arguing a lot. But,it would always end up with sex and after that we would stop talking untill next fight.once he even made out with other girl knowing that I am watching and then came to me trying to kiss me.I mean,wtf.Recently,when we stopped working together, he told that he forgives me everything bad I did to him in the past, that he likes me as a person and wants it to be that way, that he is no saint either. I am now in a relationship in which I am not completely sure but I like this guy, not attracted to him physically, just love spending time with him.this guy doesn’t know about it. But he keeps calling me and wants to see me. He comes to my house, we have coffee in the afternoon, talk about stuff,he met me with his friends, and insists on hanging out with him more often than ever.We slept couple of times again before I started dating this other guy. In the past two weeks I am avoiding him, cause I really don’t know what he wants. He also said recently that there is a girl in his life, he doesn’t know how to get to her but he will try. After that I started avoiding him cause I really don’t know how to handle my jealousy, although we are just friends now…don’t know what should I do or what his behavior means.

    • You are in a relationship, so you will find great benefit in allowing thoughts of your previous partner to fade. Focus on your relationship at this time. Spend additional time with him, as this will strengthen your relationship. If your partner acts in a manner that is inappropriate or your find that you no longer want to nourish a relationship with him, then end your relationship. Do not cheat on him while you are in a relationship. Have a great day, Girl!

  11. Ive been talking to this guy for 6 months now, mostly in a friendly way as he told me that he thinks its important to be friends with someone first, he teases me and texts me constantly and asked me questions like hes trying to get to know me in a sincere guy who likes a girl kinda way. Recently, after I made a comment about how I was annoyed by another friend who wanted more than just friends, he told me hes not trying to hook up with me in that way and hopes im not taking his friendship for more than what it is. Then he said we were BFF now and is constantly asking me to movies or suppers, when weve only hung out once months ago, so we are not what I consider a BFF at all in reality. Im super confused, Im crazy about him, but i feel like im getting mixed signals.

    • You are interested in developing a relationship with him, and his behaviors are indications that he feels the same. Perhaps attempt to spend additional time with him in person. Do not allow him to push you to act in a manner that you do not feel is appropriate. Share your thoughts and feelings with him. Give him an chance to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Tina!

  12. I have this relationship with a guy for over 2 months now. I am falling in love with him as he is everything I look for in a guy. He lives in a different city to where I am, I met him once when I went there for a business trip. We got along really well and I went to stay the night at his place, we talked and kissed and that was it. We didn’t have sex but just being there for each other. He introduced me to all of his friends, some I didn’t know but they knew me, it was a nice feeling. I came back home and we talk to each other everyday on video, phone calls and text messages. Then I told me after I came back that I felt I had fallen in love with him and I wanted him to know that which he said we are just friends and there’s nothing more to it as he wants to study me and take things slow. I am really confused as we talk all the time and he doesn’t have any feelings for me but just as a good friend. Do I invest my time in this guy or do I just leave the relationship?

    • The two of you share a strong emotional connection. He is focused on his education and has shared that he is unable to focus on nourishing a relationship at this time. He likely wants to continue to remain friends with you. Continue to share your kindness and compassion with him. If you are looking for a romantic relationship, then you may want to look elsewhere at this time. It is likely that his feelings will grow for you as you spend additional time together. Have a great day, Lee!

  13. So I have an ex that I’ve known for 3 years, despite falling out we always seem to drift back to eachother, even after our breakup and 5 months of no communication we picked up where we left off and he kissed me and we made out. That same night he told me seeing me brought all his feelings back and that he still has feelings for me and might even still love me but he doesn’t want to freak me out by saying that. For the next week after that incident we texted non stop from 11am-4am. Constant communication for 17 hours, not healthy I know. But then he tells me he wants to only be friends because he would rather be just friends with me rather than try again and to lose me again but my problem is is that he constantly apologises for how shitty he acted in our relationship and how it was bad timing and we constantly flirt etc etc and he’s the one that starts the flirting. I’m just so confused and worst of all I would take him back in a heartbeat. Any advice?

    • The two of you have developed a strong emotional connection over the years. It is likely that he feels that he does not want to lose you as a friend. You will find great benefit in determining what you want for your future. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Ashley!

  14. There is this guy I have been talking to online for a few months. On messages, he has been very flirty (he is flirty with other people, but he would be extremely flirty with me). He would always tell me to go visit him and have meet ups and “hangouts”. We would talk on the phone for hours on end up until when we met up one day. He was very intimate and extremely comfortable very fast. However, I was shy but I wasn’t uncomfortable with his physical touch. The day ended and we went our own ways. The day after, he would message me and it would be a short greeting. Days after that, replies became more distant and slow. My friend asked if he was interested in me and he replied with a “she’s cool and she’s a good friend” but my friend I feel that he’s not telling the truth because his actions were contradictory to his words with her.

    • His behaviors were indications that he was interested in developing a physical relationship with you. He likely is interested in nourishing this relationship while the two of you are together. He may be apprehensive to develop a relationship that is online. Determine what you want for this relationship, and speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Jourdann!

  15. I know him from online and it almost a year already. To be honest, until now I didn’t know his name, face, age, country and many things, it’s because we always chat almost everyday start with “Good morning, Have a fantastic day” from him and ended a day with “Goodnight, Sweet dreams, Sleep well, Take care and stay safe” and also from him. I was wonder why he always act like he cares for me and treat me like I’m his someone special but whenever I asked him either he likes me, he’ll just answer me with a sticker of vomit or blur sticker or Idk sticker and it’s really makes me confuse. And whenever he’ll leave me for so long (-offline for so long for study), he’ll say “Don’t forget to eat well, sleep well, and keep smiles.. Take care and stay safe.” He also once sent me the pictures with coloured hair and asked me to choose one colour because he wants to colour his hair. Other than that, he also once asked my opinion for the pictures he wanted to set as home picture and also his status. I once asked him if he likes someone, what will he do and he said he’ll go to the girl and said “I like you” but he never did it to me so I was assuming that he maybe just likes me as a friend. Is it correct? Is he just like as a friend and nothing more than that?

    • His behaviors are indications of his confusion, uncertainty, or shyness. It is clear that he cares for you and you are on his mind. His unfortunate choice of stickers are likely his way of protecting himself from rejection. He may view himself as your friend. He may be interested in developing a relationship with you. If your relationship is entirely online, then he may be aware of the difficulty of maintaining a long distance relationship. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Beauty!

  16. I got introduced to a guy a few months ago (a divorcee of a year), we really hit it off. We have been physical and have talked to each other every day non-stop for two/three months until I got a bit frustrated with where this was going… we would message each other in the morning, get home from work to either talk on the phone or message each other until we both were sleep. One thing I noticed was that it was rather difficult to meet up with him more frequently. I had to call him out on it. He told me that he can only see us as being friends. When he told me this, I replied back that I had friends – I don’t need anymore. I don’t want us to talk anymore. He didn’t want to stop talking, he wanted to keep in contact with me. I told him that he is confused and I cannot be involved in this confusion – he nearly cried.

    I decided that I cannot invest time in this anymore and went cold turkey. Since then, he has been trying to reach out to me to check in on me and to see how I am. He asks our friends how I am doing, he talks about me quite frequently to his friends about his behaviours and how he treated me in the past. He told his friends that he felt that he wasn’t very nice towards me.

    I am getting rather confused as friends who knows him said he only wants to keep in contact with me for validation, yet some other friends told me that he hasn’t been able to connect with someone like me in a long time. A friend also told me that he was really hurt when I said “I have friends, I don’t need anymore”. Others are saying he clearly likes me but I shouldn’t go for it because he’s confused.

    I am getting so confused by all of these mixed messages. I don’t know what he wants, I really want to have something deeper with him but I cannot decipher what he wants from me.

    • Some people in your life are telling you that he is unable or unwilling to maintain a relationship with you, while other people are saying that you should give this relationship a chance. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. Decide if you believe that this relationship is viable. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Confused!

  17. I had a guy friend who told me he had a girlfriend. Along the line we became very close to each other so I started developing Feelings for him. After 6months of being friends with out any emotional attachment, I asked Him of his intention towards me n he told me he want us to be good friends n he is praying to God to give me a better husband. I thank him. His attitude all this while has drove alot of interested guys away thinking we are dating. Am so hurt n can’t just be friends with him anymore n I don’t know how to handle this. Please I sincerely need your advice.

    • The two of you share a strong social and emotional relationship. This likely influences your prospective partners to believe that there may be something between you. He is in a relationship and is unable to maintain a romantic relationship with you. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Decide what you believe is appropriate. Have a great day, Precise!

  18. Men are confusing, ive been seeing someone recently but known each other for years we go out ,get intimate text everyday ,then last week he text saying lets just be friends its better that way .yet he still been texting everyday or calling gets flirty big time still and still wants to meet up.i just dont get it .he also got really annoyed with me when i said he was a player .told me i was being nasty as he not like that..dont get whats going on but im starting to have feelings for him

    • It sounds as though he is interested in maintaining a physical relationship with you, but he may be uncertain about his feelings regarding a serious, emotional relationship. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Decide what you believe is appropriate or acceptable. Take appropriate action at this time. Have a great day, Sonia!

  19. So I met this guy last fall through a friends boyfriend and we hit it off. He asked me on dates and it’s been nice from there. I wasn’t quite ready for a relationship and as far as I could tell he wasn’t either, he never pushed for anything other than us hanging out and being intimate. During this time I went on other dates and saw other people until a few months ago he requested we be exclusive to each other. We’ve met each other’s friends and everything. Then, a few weeks ago he had invited me to meet his parents during a family outing. I couldn’t make the date and he understood and it was ok. But him doing this made me think he was wanting something more serious. I invited him to meet my parents but it was unfortunate timing and he couldn’t make it either but it was ok with me. So finally I bring up to him that things seemed to be more serious and basically asked him what was going on and what he wanted. He blindsided me and said that maybe we should stop seeing each other and that he thought our time together had been just “ok” but we didn’t have much of anything in common and that he saw it going nowhere. This happened a few days ago. I’m so incredibly confused and I asked him why he was going to bring me to his parents and he didn’t really have a straightforward answer and said it wasn’t a big deal to him. I was also confused because we always seemed to have a great time, we made each other laugh and we have strong common interests making conversations easy. I feel like I was dumped without actually seeing anyone and I’m not sure how to move forward. I’m just extemely frustrated because I hadn’t been looking for anything and I wouldn’t not have allowed my feelings to flow if he hadn’t brought up his parents.

    • There may be a variety of potential reasons for his actions. Your mutual inability to see each other may have caused him to feel confused or uncertain. You shared enjoyable times together, but his feelings caused him to end this relationship. Allow thoughts of him to fade at this time. Focus your emotional energy elsewhere. Ensure that you share your positive energy with everyone in your life. Have a great day, Lilly!

  20. So my ex broke up with me after a few months of dating and a few years of him having feelings for me because he realized through our physical interactions that he just didn’t like me in a romantic way and liked me only as a friend. I asked if I had done anything wrong and he said “Not at all you’re just not someone I’m attracted to in that way.”
    It’s been a month since we’ve broken up and we still see each other around and hang out in group and club settings. However when we are together with others he still interacts with me as if we were still dating I feel? I might be over analyzing all this but when we’re standing or sitting around, he always chooses to position himself next to me rather than next to other friends and talk primarily in my direction, as well as being so close to me that I can either almost feel his arm or I can actually feel his arm touching mine for example. It might just be his way of being friendly, but he shows the same kindness and consideration to me as when we were dating rather than before when we weren’t. It might just be nothing but it certainly doesn’t help my process of getting over him when I still have thoughts like “Maybe he still has feelings for me.”

    • He feels a strong emotional connection with you. It is possible that he is unable to develop a physical relationship at this time. Continue to share your kindness and compassion with him. Attempt to spend additional time with him in person. This will cause him to feel more attracted to you and will strengthen your relationship. Have a great day, Jenn!

  21. I’ve been seeing this guy for about 2 and 1/2 years. I developed feelings for him but never told him. One night he calls me and just pour out his feelings to me , saying that he love me, and that he was in love with me, and wanted me to be his girlfriend. Words I was waiting to hear, because it made it a lot easier to express my feelings to him. In the middle of all this, he was going through a divorce, and couldn’t wait for it to be over so he can move on with his life. Well, the divorce is finally over! Long story short, NOW he doesn’t want to be in a relationship and be tied down. I’m so confused! My feelings hasn’t changed that I have for him. If he doesn’t want this , then why am I still getting calls from him, day and night?? He still wants to hang out, and he still wants sex. He said that I should date other people because he feel like he’s holding me back from meeting someone who may want more. So I put him to the test. I sent him a text message asking him if he really meant what he said about me dating other people. Never answered , but said he would call me later. He called, and NEVER mentioned the question about dating. And we talked almost everyday after, and he still never brought it up. Why?? Should I just leave him alone all together, even though the feelings are still there?

    • He has shared his thoughts and feelings with you. His behaviors are indications that he is no longer interested in maintaining a relationship with you. He likely is concerned about developing a strong emotional relationship at this time. He is under emotional stress at this time. There is no reason for you to wait for him to be ready to establish a relationship with you. Have a great day, Nicole!

  22. How do I say this. Well this past week since Monday he has been graving me and hugging me by the waist. He used the excuse that we were going to practice flute. We have always been alone in the room where we “practiced” in since Monday. Then just this Wednesday we went in the practice room just like the other days. And out of nowhere he starts getting close to me. Like our noses were touching each other. Then I stood up and he followed me then he started to hug me again. Then he tells me to shut up and I tell him and he can’t make me. Then he tells me he can and kisses me on the lips with tongue. He try to kiss me a couple of other times and asks me if I want to be with him. I tell him I don’t know. Then he says that we can travel work it out. Then today I talk to him about it and I ask him why he kissed me . And he says I don’t know. That’s what confuses me. How sinuous kiss a girl and then have no explanation for it? Any ways we decided to stay friends and to get to know each other more and see how it goes from there. Is this a good sign?

    • His behaviors are obvious indications of his feelings for you. He kissed you, which means he is attracted to you. He has no explanation for his attraction. However, he should explain why he felt his behaviors were appropriate. Decide if you believe his actions were acceptable. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Elisa!


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