Horse puns and jokes are always a bit fun, even if they are hoarse at times. The following horse puns are perfect for that inner equestrian in you. You can use these for fun or as your post on Facebook. These horse puns can also help inspire you to make new jokes of your own.
1. How do you control a wild teenage horse? You just have to know how to rein them in.
2. Why did everyone love the new stable boy? He could put all the horses on carriages without a hitch.
3. When she started working in the horse stables, her new boss really gave her free rein. Rein is an easy word to use for horse puns.
4. The mother pony kept yelling at her little ponies. They wouldn’t stop horsing around.
5. Did you hear what the one horse said at the horse reunion? He could the other horse’s paces, but not their manes.
6. If you really want to buy a thoroughbred horse, you have to be ready to pony up the money. That’s certainly true.
7. It was easy to understand why the one horse was lame so early. He was out of the gait first.
8. Why did no one like the newest horse on the farm? He kept trying to stirrup trouble.
9. Why did the girl name her pony Storm? Because he could ride as fast as lightning in any weather.
10. Young horses need a stable environment if you want them to grow big and strong. True enough.
11. The farm hand had to get rid of his horses. They did nothing buy cause him woe.
12. As soon as the horse ate the entire stable of hay, he had a baleful look about him. I would, too.
13. A little pony wanted to sleep with his mom and dad. It was because he kept having night-mares.
14. Did you hear about the horse who fired the weather reported? She kept saying that the weather was stable every day.
15. How do you calm down an impatient jockey? You tell them to hold their horses.
16. Why did everyone love the local horse farm? They had amazing horse-pitality.
17. What did the doctor say when the horse walked into the hospital? Why the long face?
18. The kids loved watching the horse parade as it moved down Mane Street. Of course!
19. What is the only kind of fast food that race horses eat? Fast food.
20. Why did the horse leave the farm? He thought that the farmer was trying to harness all of his creativity.
21. Why was the horse kicked off of the basketball team? He would foal too much.
22. Why did the horse stop in the middle of the road? Someone yelled, “Hay!”
23. What did the mother horse tell her foal at night? “It is pasture bedtime.”
24. Why was the little pony taken out of class? He wouldn’t stop horsing around.
25. Which state do horses go to get their hair done? Mane. (Maine.)
26. What is a horses favorite sport? Stable tennis.
27. Do you know why horses can’t work at Best Buy? They love eating Apple computers.
28. Why shouldn’t you listen to gossip from a horse? They are real neigh-sayers.
29. Where do they take little ponies when they are sick? To the horse-pital.
30. Why do cowboys ride horses? Because their too heavy for cowboys to carry.
31. Why wasn’t the horse popular with her old friends anymore? Because they thought she mustang with the wrong crowd.
32. What do you give a pony for a sour throat? Just a little cough stirrup.
33. They say you can lead a horse to water, buy you can’t make it drink. How do you lead a horse to water best? With a lot of carrots.
34. Why wouldn’t the race horse wear underwear? It kept riding up on him.
35. Why did they have to keep the champion horse in the stable today? It had a serious case of hay fever.
36. Do you know what it means when you find a lucky horseshoe? Some poor pony is just walking around in socks.
37. What is true horse sense? The ability to say nay.
38. Who were the most famous horse thieves ever? Bonnie and Clydesdale.
39. Why was Teddy Roosevelt always so mean to horses? He was a rough rider.
40. What is the only thing that is as large as a horse, but weighs nothing? It’s shadow.
41. What happens when a horse accidentally swallows a dollar bill? It starts to buck.
42. How did they find out which animals the kids like on the farm? Take a gallop poll.
43. What is the fastest way to mail a horse to your friend? Use the Pony Express.
44. Why was the little girl standing behind the horse? She thought she might get a kick out of it.
45. What do you call a horse that has seen the entire world? A true globe trotter.
46. Where do newlywed horses get to stay? The bridle suite.
47. Why is the race horse the strongest animal in the world? Because it can take hundreds of people on a ride at once.
48. Why did the bronco have to leave the bar? Because he just had one buck.
49. What do an egg and a young horse have in common? You can’t use them until they are broken.
50. What do you call a scary female horse? A true nightmare.
51. Why did the man have to close the riding academy? Because business just kept falling off.
52. Why is it so hard to tell which horse it is from the back? Because they keep switching their tails.
53. Why do people always warm up to horses? Because you can’t hate them furlong once you get to know them.
54. Why are barge horses such great dancers? They really know how to tow the line.
55. What is the only thing that you can pun in the mouth of a quarter horse? Two bits.
56. The shy horse had to go behind the tree to change his jockeys. Clever, very clever.
57. What is a horse’s favorite movie? Fiddler on the Hoof.
58. What is the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse? The ground.
59. What do you call a race horse that can never lose a race? A sherbet.
60. Why do vampires go to horse races? They love when the finishes are neck and neck.
61. Why do horses make great pets for children? They are extremely stable animals.
62. How could a cowboy ride to town on Friday, stay four days and leave on Friday? His horse’s name was Friday!
63. What did they nickname the assistant stable cleaner? The co-pile-it.
64. What do horses eat their sandwiches on? Thorough-bread.
65. Why couldn’t the waiter take the horse’s order? Because it wasn’t his stable.
66. What type of story do you tell about a runaway horse? A tale of whoa!