When you fall in love, all you want to do is be around your girlfriend and make her happy. Unfortunately, it isn’t always easy finding out how to be a good boyfriend. Whether you are new to relationships or have had had bad relationships in the past, it is important to learn from your mistakes and figure out ways to become a better boyfriend.
1. Be Spontaneous
There are studies that show people are more likely to fall in love when they are in a new or mysterious situation. You can make use of this by being spontaneous. Surprise her by taking her out to a romantic dinner. You can also surprise her with a lunch. If she is working a lot, plan out a picnic for her. There are always parks around that you could take her to on her lunch break, and she will be floored that you put so much into the plan.
If lunch or dinner are not the right fit for you, you can plan out a scavenger hunt. If you play an instrument, try writing her a song and setting it to music. Whatever you do, you need to find a spontaneous way to show her that you care deeply for her.
You need to be spontaneous at some point in your relationship if you want your relationship to work out. Over months or years, you can end up getting stuck in a rut where you just do things based on your routines. Sometimes, you have to mix things up. Otherwise, she could end up becoming bored of you, the relationship or both.
2. Be Kind to Others
At some point, you have watched a movie where the characters went on an awful date. The guy or girl is rude to the waitstaff and overly demanding. You do not want to be that guy. Your girlfriend will judge you by how you treat other people. If you are kind and generous to the people around you, then you can make her fall in love with you. Try volunteering, donating blood or helping people out who are in need. She will fall in love with you all over again because of your loving, generous nature.
19. Be Kind and Generous to Others as Well
3. Start Learning
Intelligence is naturally attractive. In recent years, “Smart is the new sexy” has become popular. Learn from this phrase and work to boost your intelligence. There is actually an evolutionary basis for this desire. For offspring to have the best chance in the world, they have to have intelligent parents. Other than fulfilling an evolutionary need, you also want to be smart because it makes you interesting. If you never learn new things, you will never have anything to share. You can talk about your day or people at work, but that will get boring.
When you have the perfect girl, your goal is to be such a great boyfriend that she thinks that she is the one who lucked out. Reading books, learning new languages or picking up new hobbies can all impress her. Plus, you can make the relationship more interesting by doing some of these things with her. Take a language class or a cooking class with her. It will give you a chance to bond and learn together. Plus, all of your learning will give you intellectual fodder for the deep, interesting conversations that help with relationship building.
In addition to making you seem more intellectual, learning new things will make you more useful. Learning to cook means that you can surprise her with amazing dinners. Learning to speak another language means that you opened up a world of interesting friends and travel opportunities. Bring her along on your journey and you will become an irreplaceable part of her life.
4. Be Sweet
It is more important what you do than what you say in a relationship. By doing thoughtful things or trying to make her life easier, you can show her that you are a sweet and caring person. One important way to do this is to listen to her. Sometimes, she won’t want a solution to her problem. Instead, she wants to have the man she loves listen to her and take her seriously.
5. Do Her Chores
If you come home, turn on the TV and enjoy a beer while she cooks dinner, your relationship is not going to last. You have to pull your weight in the relationship and around the house. If you help her with chores, then she will love you for it. Chores might not be fun, but they are a way to show her that you really care. A romantic evening is fun and benefits you; chores are not fun. Which one do you think really shows how much you love her? You are judged for your ability to do the less enjoyable things in the relationship instead of just the fun things.
To show how much you love her, surprise her by doing the dishes or laundry. If she is doing household chores, join her. It will go faster with both of you doing it, and she will appreciate it. Plus, her friends and family members will hear about how helpful you are at home and tell her that you are a keeper. If her friends like you, then you are in!
6. Dress Well
While looks only matter to an extent, you should still make sure that you dress sharply. Appearance is one of the first things that attracts you to a partner and gets you to talk to them. If you dress sloppily or skip your showers, you will not look your best. You want to be someone that she feels lucky to “catch”. The way you look is an easy way to make her stay attracted to you and interested in you.
7. Be Her Hero
When she is sick, take care of her. Even if it is just a cold, bring her chicken noodle soup, her favorite movie and a box of tissues. This will make her feel like you care and like you will always be there to take care of her. If you were a one night stand, she wouldn’t care about this. When a girl looks for a boyfriend, she wants someone who can be there for her through thick and thin. To do this, you have to be there to support her when she has problems at work or feels sick. If you cannot be there for her when times are tough, she will not want you there when things are going well again. Your goal should be to make her feel comfortable, safe and confident whenever she is around you.
8. Take Control
Obviously, this tip can go overboard at times. She needs to make decisions with you instead of having them made by you. If you are too clingy or controlling in the relationship, she will leave you.
With that said, there is a nice balance between taking responsibility and being clingy. When it comes to taking control, you should focus on taking control of things outside of your relationship. Being confident and taking charge of your life are appealing to potential dates. Girls want to date someone who knows what they want out of life and go for it. By working toward and accomplishing your personal goals, you show her that you are someone who has the work ethic and the talent to get what you want out of life.
9. Get Close to Her Family
If she is completely in love with you, her friends’ or family’s opinion of you may not matter. Before she falls in love with you though, she is going to listen to what they say. If one family member hates you, you may recover. If all of her friends say that you are bad news, she may break up with you before the relationship has even had time to succeed.
You need to get her friends and family members to think well of you. This helps you in several ways. First, it will show her that other people like you and that she is making the right choice by being with you. It also will give you resources if you mess up. If she blocks your texts after a big fight, you can get her sibling or best friend to reach out to her and help you apologize. While you will hopefully never need this type of help, it is a good option to keep open, just in case.
10. Dream Big
People admire people who are admired by others. They also respect people who have worked hard to attain a position of status or prestige. By getting that next promotion or becoming respected by your co-workers, you are showing her that you are ambitious, talented and have a strong future built for yourself. Talented people want to be with talented people. If your girlfriend is talented and ambitious, she will want to date someone who is equally ambitious. While she might be willing to play the field and date you for a while, she will only stick with you if you are both headed in the same direction in life.
11. Make Your Relationship More Romantic
Hollywood romance movies lie. It is unlikely a Prince Charming will ride in on a white steed and sweep your girlfriend off her feet. Unfortunately, all of these movies have served to create unrealistic expectations of romance and love. While she may logically realize that real romances are not like the movies, a part of her secretly wants that type of romance.
If you want to really make her fall in love with you, be romantic. Do charming things like whispering sweet compliments in her ear or leaving love notes on her pillow the next morning. Take her to the fair and try to win a stuffed animal at the carnival booths. Even if you only win a tiny stuff animal, she will still think it is sweet and cherish it. To really surprise her, buy or make an amazing dinner. Pack a folding table, two chairs, a table cloth and candles in the back of your car. Blindfold her and do not tell her where you are going. While she is still blindfolded, pull everything out to make a perfect candlelight dinner at some scenic spot near where you live.
12. Be Unique
What makes you different from any other boyfriend? If you are the same as everyone else, there is no reason to date you specifically. There has to be something unique about you that makes other people (primarily your girlfriend) like you. Round out your personality with new hobbies, interests and intellectual pursuits. If you are always interested in you, she will never become bored of you.
13. Give Her Space
If you are constantly texting her or trying to be around her, she will think that you are unbearably clingy and leave you. At the same time, if you give her too much space and never text you, she will think that you don’t really like her or are up to something. You have to find the perfect balance between giving her enough space while still being loving and attentive. After you have dated for a few weeks, you can even just ask her what she wants and if you are being attentive enough.
14. Remember to Focus on Yourself
When you are in a relationship, it is easy to become too caught up. You are in love, and the only thing that matters is her. While this is entirely natural, you have to be careful. You still need to invest in yourself and develop your own interests in life. If you only focus on your relationship, you will become a two-dimensional character of yourself. You need to have hobbies, goals and dreams for the future. Basically, you have to remember to focus on your own self-development and career so that you are an attractive boyfriend.
15. Plan Things Together
Being spontaneous is great, but there also needs to be things that you do together. Studies find that planning a vacation boosts your happiness for weeks before the vacation actually happens. It is not just what happens together, but planning it that can make your girlfriend happy. In addition to making her happier, she will enjoy making plans together because it will give her more time to spend with you and a feeling that she is a part of a team.
16. Know Your Girlfriend
All of the tips in the world will not help you out if you cannot learn to listen to your girlfriend and respect her. You have to know who she is before you can plan out a romantic dinner or buy her favorite treat. If you do not listen to her, you may as well break up now because your relationship does not have a future. You have to care for who she is, learn what she likes and listen to how she feels. If you can do this, then you can lay the foundation for a great relationship.
17. Be Understanding
When she has had a rough day, she needs someone to care and to listen to her. You can be the person that she turns to when things are difficult. By becoming the rock that she depends on, you become more than just a date; you become a partner in life.
18. Challenge Her
There is a wonderful quote by Rumi that says something along the lines of, “I love you not for who you are, but for who I am when I am with you.” This is a perfect illustration of how a good relationship works. When you are with the right person, you become a better person. Challenge your girlfriend to try new things, run a marathon with you or dream big things. She will love you for more than just who you are, but for everything that she becomes when she is with you.
19. Work Out
She was attracted to you initially, which is why she is with you. It never hurts to become even more attractive. In addition to making your muscles toned, it will also give you a boost of self-confidence. Confidence is unbelievably attractive—if you are so-so in looks, a boost of confidence can make you above average. Spend some time at the gym to boost your natural appearance and your self-confidence.
20. Be Passionate
Like you, your girlfriend wants to feel attractive. She wants to feel or know that she is the only girl for you and that you are immensely attracted to her. Tell her that she is beautiful, but go beyond what you say. It is easy to dismiss what someone says, but your actions speak volumes about how you feel. Look at her with passion in your eyes. Demonstrate how attracted you find her by how you act. As a side note though: make sure that you also act respectfully toward her when you are outside of the bedroom. Being too physical and passionate can backfire if she thinks that you don’t respect her. Like most things, you have to find the perfect balance.