Did you ever read Memoirs of a Geisha? In the story, the geisha was able to get a man to stumble as he walked by just looking at him. Wouldn’t it be amazing if you could turn your crush’s head like that? While it might not be possible to literally make him fall for you, there are ways that you can learn how to charm a guy. This works best if he is already attracted to you on some level, although you can still use these tips if you are starting at zero.
Obviously, your goal is to be yourself as much as possible. Even if you get him to fall in love with a fake version of you, you will have to be yourself at some point. If he is not attracted to you for who you are, he will end up leaving you when you eventually have to reveal your entire self to him. At the same time, there are a few things you can use to brush up your best personality traits and win him over.
1. Use Your Body Language
If you want to learn how to charm a guy, you need to start with your body language. Your body language reveals if you are interested in someone or enjoy talking to them. Leaning in to the conversation and tilting your head slightly are easy ways to show that you are engaged. Gentle touches like touching his shoulder or elbow can also be a subtle way to flirt.
You should also make an effort to make eye contact. If you want to show that you are interested, make eye contact briefly when you see him. Then, look back at him. The second look shows that you are genuinely checking him out and interested. Add a smile to the look and you are definitely showing him your cards. You obviously don’t want to stare at him, but a few casual glances can go a long way toward showing your interest.
When you talk to him, make sure to face toward him. Facing away can make it seem like you have somewhere else to go or don’t want to be in the conversation. If you smile, make sure it is authentic. People can tell if you are giving a fake smile, and these smiles will see unnatural.
2. Make Him Feel Admired
People naturally like people who like them. If you make him feel like your hero, he will want to like you back. Show through your actions and words that you value his opinion and thoughts. If he knows that you think well of him, he will feel flattered and admired.
3. Be Confident
One of the biggest turn-ons is self-confidence. Even someone who is unattractive can seem immensely beautiful if they have self-confidence. Be proud of who you are and stand tall—you will turn more than a few heads.
4. Dress Well
Let’s face it: most people are initially attracted to a partner because of their looks. You don’t have to wear a belly-baring shirt and mini skirt to get his attention. Just dress so that you look good. Flatter your best qualities and play up your good looks.
5. Be Smart
Guys might be attracted to a woman for her looks, but looks will not keep him around. Other than a few exceptions, most guys do not want a trophy wife to dress up their tuxedo. If you want to be a one-night stand, you don’t have to worry about your intelligence or charm. If you want to find a long-term relationship, you have to be the type of woman that a guy would want a relationship with. Don’t be afraid to show off your intelligence, humor and wit. Your looks may have caught his eye, but it is your personality and intelligence that will keep him around.
6. Use Your Attitude
There is one thing that charming, charismatic people have in common. It is not their personality, jokes or intelligence. It is how they treat other people. When someone is truly charming, they are able to be genuinely interested in other people. People love when someone is interested in them. It makes them feel happy, admired and flattered. For a few moments, it feels like you are the only person in the world.
You probably want to start this new habit with someone who you are not deliberately trying to charm. When you are talking to a friend or a new acquaintance, start by trying to find something interesting about them. Focus on that interesting point as you talk to them because it will naturally make you seem interested in who they are. You can continue by learning about their life, interests and habits. Once you are confident that you know how to charm a guy with this method, try charming your crush.
Remember to do little things like remembering the guy’s name or important details. These little things show that you genuinely care and are interested in them. If you are not good at remembering names, repeat the name mentally after you hear it. You can also try to associate the name with something (for example, when you hear Doug, think of a duck with Doug’s face swimming around). This method of making a funny, cute or memorable image with the name or something that sounds like it is quite effective at helping you to remember names.
7. Make Your Memory Associated With Good Things
Once you get his attention, your next step is to keep it. You want your crush to associate you with only good things. People are naturally drawn to individuals who make them feel good about themselves. Create a happy environment with good food, nice smells and a positive attitude. If you are hanging out, try cooking together or doing an activity where you can have fun and joke around. If he associates you with positive, happy moments, he will be subconsciously drawn to spending more time with you.