If you like a girl, then it would make sense that you just ask her out, right? Well, not really. The problem is that like un-ringing a bell, once you make your move, if you are shot down, then it will not only embarrass you, it will decrease your chances of ever getting her to go out with you.
There are subtle ways to make a girl like you before you let on that you like her. Subtleties mixed with having an action plan will ensure that you never get turned down before you have even been given a chance. There are crucial things that you can do to make a girl like you without ever having to ask her out and ruining your overall chances.
The thing about girls is that they are all looking for someone who thinks they are special. If you are too nice, then you run the risk of being “just a friend” if you are a dick, then she will probably want to hang out with you, but never want to be one of your victims. Somewhere in between is the ideal to place to get her interested.
Being nice never hurts, being too nice, might. The perfect balance, it is all about watching your moves and actions, even if you aren’t sure you want to date her, anyway. If you have girls in your life who you find attractive but aren’t sure you want to date them, try not to become too close to them as a friend, or you might never be able to cross that friendship line into something else. That is why having a good plan is the best way to approach any attractive girl whether you know that you want to date her or not.
Don’t be slimy
Girls are smart and intuitive creatures, more so than guys know. We typically know when someone is playing us. If you are too charming or come off as too “smooth”, we know when we are being worked over. If you try to charm everyone in your vicinity that is anything but charming.
Before you decide to throw on the cute, make sure that you are selective. Throwing your debonair-self around will only leave every girl in the room feeling like they have just been worked over by a used car salesman. Being cute is okay, but don’t make it all you are. A good mix of compliments, sincere only, and humor, is the best way to make a lasting impression.
If you are out with a group of girls, the very worst thing you can do is to flirt with everything that moves. Showing that you have absolutely no discern when it comes to how you treat you like as opposed to those you don’t, will leave everyone with a disingenuous feel.
If you want to make a girl like you, then you have to make her feel special
The reason that you don’t want to charm every girl in the room is that one of the best tools that you have to make a girl attracted to you is to make her feel special. Girls want to be treated like they are the only one in the room that you have eyes for. Just showing them a little special attention, can make any girl like you, even if she wasn’t so inclined. When you make a girl feel special, it might peak her interest, even if she didn’t have any before.
One of the keys to making a girl feel special involves singling her out. That means that if you want to be charming and make her laugh or compliment her on her beautiful smile, it is best done in privacy. If you do it in a group or crowd, then it might feel more “for show” and be discounted. When one on one, giving her your full attention or taking the time to get to know her away from the noisy group, will show her that she means a little more to you than everyone else you are hanging out with. Mind you, getting her alone is not about schmoozing her or being cheesy; it is about showing interest and genuinely proving to her that she is someone worth taking the time to get to know.
Don’t come on too strong
The worst thing you can do if you want to get a girl to like you without asking her out is to come on too strong. You want to give the impression that she is something special, not that you can’t live without her. Remember, you want her to leave with a favorable impression and to question whether she is the right one for you. What you don’t want to leave her with is a clingy or obsessive feeling that gives her the creeps.
Try to keep the conversation light and don’t lavish her with compliments that will make her uncomfortable. A girl finds a guy attractive when they can hold their own, make her laugh, and not be too needy or pathetically too interested, especially if she isn’t sure she is attracted to you.
You want to make her think about whether you like her or not. And, if you two would be able to have something real. If you are too forward, you could end up turning her off. Just like you, a girl likes a challenge. So, playing hard to get might not be the key but being overly enthusiastic, pushy, or downright “octopusish” will send her running back to the safety of the crowd.
Keep is under wraps
If you want to make a girl like you without asking her out, then the idea is to keep your intentions to yourself until you have gotten her to like you. You want to make her attraction to you feel like her idea, not your persuasion. Don’t let her know how you feel about her by making comments that are too on your sleeve, keep it cool and mysterious. You don’t want to let the cat out of the bag and risk being scratched by rejection.
If you ask someone out before you are sure that they are interested, then you run the risk of missing your opportunity. You want the girl to think that she was the one who was attracted to you first, not that you were the one who came after her. If you make yourself out to be a catch who maybe can or maybe can’t be caught, you will be that much more desirable, if she actually is attracted to you.
Asking a girl out is never easy, especially if you aren’t sure that she is into you. If you have a plan in action and don’t come on too strong, you might just get her to go out with you without even having to ask. Being sneaky is all in degrees, being sleazy isn’t. If you are going to make a go for her heart, then make sure always to be sincere, to single her out instead of being indiscriminate about who you are charming, and make yourself appear to be a challenge.
Avoiding the friend zone while winning her heart takes a happy medium. It means being nice, but not too nice. Being interested, but not clingy, and, above all, making her think that she is pursuing you and not that you are aggressively pushing her. If she decides she likes you, then you already are as good as golden without having to work so hard to get her to go out with you, to begin with. Do the legwork, and you don’t ever have to fear rejection. Just be sincere but not too disclosed and you will find out quickly if you have an in or are way out.