When you have a crush on someone, it can seem like they are all that you think about. You fall asleep dreaming about his smile and wake up wondering if you will see him again that day. This type of experience is normal and is generally not something that you have to worry about.
Sometimes, you do have to get over a crush. Your crush may be a bad influence on your life, or you may think that you are starting to obsess about him too much. If you are obsessing over whether he likes you, you may feel miserable and unable to do anything else in life. In some cases, you know that your crush does not like you back. Whatever the reason, you may want to stop caring about your crush and move on. While it is fun to have a crush, getting over a crush is not always easy.
Honestly, the advice for getting over a crush is the same for guys and girls. Despite what you see in the media and on advertisements, people actually tend to have the same emotions about a crush and about a break up. The only difference is how people are raised to act on those feelings. This type of advice works whether you are a guy or a girl, and it also works whether your crush is a girl or a girl. You have the same feelings to get over regardless, so your first step is determining what to do about them.
Are You Actually Ready for This?
Before you can actually get over your crush, you have to decide if you are ready to let him go. You have liked him for a long time, so it won’t be easy to get over him. If you are not actually ready, then everything you do won’t make a difference. A part of you will still want to hold on to him. You have to convince that part of you that it is time to move on, or you will not be able to get over your crush.
1. Stay Busy
Getting over a crush as a girl is a lot like getting over a break up. Your mind wants to dwell on your crush and think about him constantly. For you to forget about him, you need to find something else to focus on. The easiest way to do that is to stay busy. Get a new hobby, read books or hang out with your friends. Try to keep your day filled with activities so that you pass out at night and don’t have to think about your crush. If you are lucky, you will be tired enough that he won’t appear in your dreams as well.
2. Like Someone Else
An easy way to move on from your crush is to focus on someone else. Most crushes develop because you are attracted to someone’s looks, mannerisms or personality. If you can find someone else that is attractive, you will be able to overcome your crush.
3. Stop Liking His Personality or Mannerisms
When you have a crush on someone, it is easy to overlook their faults. Everyone has faults though, so your crush is probably just as human as everyone else. One of the things that you can do is to remind yourself of his faults. You can also think of the ways that your relationship would fail if you were to date. You have a reason for getting over your crush, so keep reminding yourself of why you need to move on and forget about him.
4. Stop Thinking About Him
This is actually one of the hardest things that you can do. Your mind automatically wants to think about the things that you are trying to forget. Whenever you do think about your crush, tell yourself “stop” and focus your attention on something else immediately. While this is not easy, it will gradually start to help. This same technique is used in cognitive behavioral therapy to change the way patients think. If you keep doing it, your mind will automatically get used to ending thoughts about him before you think about them too much.
5. Ask Your Crush Out
You may want to stop thinking about your crush because you think that there is no hope to the relationship. A part of you still wonders though if you could date some day. You need to convince that part of you that nothing is ever going to happen with your crush. While getting rejected is hard to handle, it will help to remove that last doubt in your mind so that you can truly move on.
6. Talk About Your Crush
In the early stages of getting over your crush, it may help to actually talk about him. Alcoholics go to meetings to discuss their addiction and work through their feelings. In many ways, having a crush and falling in love is like an addiction. The same types of endorphins are produced in the brain and stimulate the reward system. Sometimes, expressing these feelings will help you to work through them and help them to go away. If you can’t talk about your crush with your friends, try starting a journal so that you can work through your feelings alone and actually get over your crush.
7. Stop Caring About Your Crush
Again, this can be really hard to do. You have to stop thinking about your crush and what he thinks. Before, you wondered if that new dress would make you attractive to your crush. You would wear his favorite scent in the hopes that he would notice you. If you ever want to move on, you have to stop doing this. You need to make decisions about what you like instead of revolving all of your choices around what your crush will think.
8. Get Off of Social Media
Whether you are getting over a crush or going through a break up, the best thing that you can do is get off of social media. It is far too easy to spend hours on your crush’s Facebook page as you stare at his pictures and his posts. Each post feels like it is speaking directly to you, but there is a decent chance that he wasn’t thinking about anyone particular when he made that post. If you keep looking at his social media sites, you will only continue your obsession and never get over your crush. If you have to, get off of social media entirely so that you can actually move on in life.
9. Make a Pros and Cons List
Sometimes, a dose of reality is needed to wake yourself up. While you have an attraction to your crush, there are probably just as many reasons not to date him. Otherwise, you would not be trying so hard to get over your crush. You may need a reminder of why you have to move on. Make a basic T-chart and list the pros and cons of being with your crush. Include the things you like and dislike about him. Make sure to be completely honest. When you are done, look at how the charts stack up. If there are a lot of dislikes, keep the chart to remind you of why you do not want to be with him. If there is just one con on the list like he doesn’t like you back, you may still want to keep this chart as a reminder of why you have to just move on.
10. Consider Other Options
If you are open to new relationships, falling in love can be incredibly easy. There are probably many guys around who would be interested in dating you. They probably avoided making a move though because they knew that you were completely wrapped up in your crush. Once you start to move on from your crush, you will be able to see that there are other options out there. Your crush was just one of the options available. Go on dates, play the field and explore the different relationships that are now open to you. While it may have seemed like you could only ever be happy with your crush, this is probably not the case. There are many, many other options out there that are better suited to you and what you want out of a relationship.