When you see her, your heart skips a beat. It feels like her smile was created just to make you go weak in the knees as butterflies jump about within your stomach. While having a crush can be enjoyable, there are many reasons why a potential crush does not work out. She may have a boyfriend, or you may have found out that she does not like you as more than a friend. Whatever the case, you now need to move on in life and find someone else to focus on.
It is much easier to decide to move on than it is to actually move on. A part of you still likes her and finds her attractive. While this is understandable, you have to convince that part of you that you need to focus on something else and forget about her. If you keep dwelling on your old crush, you will never be able to find a new relationship and be happy in life.
One of the first steps is not always easy. If you work with your crush or go to school with her, you might not be able to avoid her entirely. Obviously, you don’t want to ignore her “hello’s” in class if she does see you. While this is understandable, you do need to avoid her as much as possible. If you are constantly around your crush, it will be impossible for you to move on. Each time you see her, it will bring up all of the reasons why you liked her and keep you from forgetting about her. There are situations where you can’t avoid her entirely, but you do need to limit your time around her as much as possible.
2. Remind Yourself of Why You Are Doing This
When you see her, her eyes light up and she gives you that smile that makes your heart melt. In that moment, it seems impossible to remember why you would ever want to get over her at all. Before you get put in this situation, write out the reasons why you need to move on. Does she have a boyfriend? Are in the friend zone? Do you know that she does not like you like that? Whatever the reason, right it down. Every time you start to daydream about her, stop your thoughts immediately and think about why you need to forget about her.
3. Stop Thinking About Her
This step goes along with the last one. If you are constantly thinking or daydreaming about your crush, then you may find it impossible to move on. Each thought of her cements her memory in your subconscious. Basically, she becomes a habit that becomes harder and harder to break. You have to consciously try to stop thinking about her if you want to get over her. Focus on something else and remind yourself about why you need to move on.
4. Stay Busy
If you have nothing to do all day, it can be difficult to stop thinking about her. When you have a lot of time on your hands, one of the only things that you can do is think. To stop this process, find something to do. Take on extra hours at work or throw yourself into your studies. Pick up a new hobby. Taking a language class or joining a hiking club will help you stay busy and stop thinking about her. In addition, it gives you extra opportunities to meet someone new that will be a better match for what you want out of a relationship.
5. Find Someone New
In the beginning, you probably want to hold off on dating someone else. While you never dated your crush, you did care about her a lot. This can make it hard to have a new relationship right away. If you try to date someone else, your mind will constantly revert to your crush. This isn’t fair for your new relationship or you. Once you are ready to start dating, find someone new. Play the field and figure out what type of personality works best with your personality. Before long, you will stop thinking about your crush and start focusing on your new crush or girlfriend.
6. Get Some Space
If you have had the same crush for years, it is going to be much harder to get over her. In addition to using the other ideas on this list, you may need to make a drastic change. Enroll in a seminar, move to a new area or find a vacation that takes you away from it all. You could also try a meditation retreat. At the retreat, you are able to watch your thoughts and rethink your entire life. It could be the perfect chance that you need to give your love life and the rest of your life a complete overhaul.
7. Ask Your Crush Out
Why do you really want to get over your crush? If you have been rejected, then that is completely understandable. If you have never asked your crush out, then it will be challenging to get over her. You don’t know if she could like you back, so a part of you will always wonder what could have happened. If you do not know how she feels, ask her out. You may get rejected, but it is the only way to find out for sure that you need to move on and forget about her.
8. You Could Get to Know Your Crush Better
Another option is to talk to your crush more often. If you do not know her very well, then she is just someone that you find attractive. You do not actually know if her personality, interests or beliefs are actually in line with yours. One easy way to find out is to talk to her. In many cases, you will find out within a short conversation that there is something about her that you dislike. If she has an unattractive personality or is a mean-spirited person, moving on will become amazingly easy.
9. Skip Out on Facebook
There are many research studies that show that people grow increasingly unhappy with the more time they spend on Facebook. Part of this is because of the way people post pictures and stories about their lives. People only post the good aspects of their life, so it makes it seem like you are the only person whoever goes through hard times. If you are constantly checking your crush’s Facebook page, it will seem like she is happy and surrounded by other guys to date. Do not do this to yourself. At the very least, checking her social media sites will make it impossible to move on. In the worst case scenario, you will torture yourself about who she likes or is potentially dating. If you have to, avoid social media sites entirely so that you do not waste time obsessing over your crush.
10. Stop Considering What Your Crush Likes
When you like someone, it is normal to wonder what they would think of a particular book or movie. You may have chosen your clothes because green was her favorite color or you knew that she liked guys in a buttoned-up shirt. You have to stop doing this. Instead of considering what your crush thinks of an outfit, pick what you want to wear. If you want to move on from your crush, you can’t dwell on all of the things that she likes or dislikes in guys. Her opinions no longer matter because you are in the process of moving on.
11. Stop Idealizing Your Crush
When you are in love, it seems like your crush is perfect. She could not possibly have bad qualities or negative attitudes. In reality, your crush was just as human as you are. She has her faults and dark days just like anyone else. If you idealize your crush, you are making it that much harder to find someone else. Your new girlfriend will have to live up to the idealized memory of your crush, and this idealized memory never actually existed.
Learning how to get over a crush is not easy, but it is possible. It takes time, but you will move on. Stay busy, try to avoid thoughts of her and focus on something else. Before long, she will become a distant memory as you get out there and enjoy your life.