Have you been having trouble sleeping lately? Staying up late, tossing and turning as you think about that man in your life? We’ve all gone through crushes, but that doesn’t mean we’ve all learned how to deal with them. Even the most experienced daters can find themselves at a loss when they feel butterflies in their stomach.
Dating is hard for everyone, but it can be especially tough as a woman. We’re told to just sit back and hope that the man of our dreams comes our way. Forget that! We’re here to tell you 15 proactive steps you can take to turn your crush into something more.
1. Put on makeup
You don’t have to do yourself up like a model to catch a man, but a little bit of makeup can go a long way. If you’re not confident with makeup, then talk to a friend who is skilled with cosmetics.
It can be intimidating at first, but with practice, you’ll be able to make drastic changes in just a matter of minutes. Think of it as highlighting your best assets so you can capture his attention.
2. Flex your fashion muscles
If you’ve never thought about how your clothes effect men, then now is the chance to start. Your crush is more likely to notice you if you are wearing stylish clothes that flatter your figure.
Many beautiful women hide their figures under baggy and unattractive clothes. That might be fine for watching Netflix on a lazy weekend, but if you want to land a top-shelf man you’ve got to put in some work.
Once again, if you don’t know how to pick the right clothes then try and find a friend who knows fashion. True fashionistas love a good makeover.
3. Walk his way
A man can’t notice you if you’re always out of sight. Just being in his presence dramatically increases your chances with him. Just remember that there’s a thin line between being proactive and being a stalker, make sure you aren’t just standing there staring at him.
If he is in a club or activity, see if you can join and then find your own space. When you find a way to enjoy yourself around him, then you’ll be able to have a good time even if he doesn’t end up making a move. Besides, if you look like you’re having a good time, then he’s more likely to be interested in you.
4. Make eye contact
Once you are around your crush, you need to start looking his way. This shows him that you are interested. Once again, there is a fine line that you have to walk.
You don’t want to just stare at him like a stalker, but you don’t want your glances to be so fleeting that he doesn’t know whether you’re looking at him or not.
Try and see if you can catch him looking at you, and when you do try and maintain eye contact. Remember to smile; it can make the difference between a positive and creepy experience.
5. Open up your body language
If you look closed off, then you are discouraging people from coming up to you. That might even be your intention most of the time. But when your crush is around you want to have the most inviting body language possible.
6. Get the conversation started
Hopefully, your crush approaches you, but if he doesn’t then, you don’t need to give up hope. It could be that he’s just as nervous as you are. Try and strike up a conversation and see how he reacts. After all, you can’t date a guy until you actually talk to him.
It doesn’t have to be complicated, just walk up and say hi. If you do feel like you need an excuse try and come up with an honest question to ask him. It could be as simple as asking for the time, just get the conversation started.
7. Reach out and touch him
Once again, real communication goes far beyond just words. A single hand on a man’s knees says more than a year’s worth of small talk. Start out as casually as possible, just brushing up against him as lightly as possible.
Look for natural openings. Give him high fives, pat him on the back for encouragement, sit close to him so your bodies touch. You don’t want to just start pawing away at him. Physical contact should be as natural as possible.
If it’s done right, it will move organically from light, incidental touching to hugging and holding hands. From there, well, you can let your imagination lead you the rest of the way.
8. Get him to talk about himself
People usually like to talk about themselves; it’s just some people take a little longer to get going. If your crush is shy, you might have to warm him up by sharing things about yourself.
Take things slow and steer things towards his interests. Once he’s talking about himself, you just have to pay attention and encourage him to keep going.
9. Find common ground
Once you’re talking with your crush, you need to find out what you share in common. They say opposites attract, but it’s hard to build a relationship on conflict. You don’t have to agree with him on everything or pretend to like what he likes.
If you try too hard, you’ll seem like you’re just a yes-girl. You want to find common interests you actually share and can build on. Once you know you enjoy similar activities, then ideas for dates will start to flow.
10. Be positive
Emotions are contagious. If you are positive around your crush, then he’s more likely to return those positive emotions. Smile, compliment him, and exude positivity. For some people, this is easier said than done.
If you’re naturally pessimistic don’t feel like you have to drastically alter your personality, just try and focus on the bright side when you’re around your crush. Don’t think of it as becoming someone else, think of it as becoming your best self.
11. Keep in contact
It’s important to keep in touch with him even after you need to part ways. Life is busy, and even if you make a good first impression, you might get lost in the shuffle once you’re out of sight and out of mind. See if he is on social media.
Friend him, follow him, do what you need to open up a line of communication that continue after you part ways for the day. And remember, don’t just wait for him to reach out to you. Send him a short message every once in awhile, to remind him of you.
12. Make friends with his friends
If a man’s friends approve of you, then they might put a good word in for you. Remember, his friends were there before you. If you can become a part of his social circle or at least gain their approval, then you’ll have a chance to grow on him.
13. Find some alone time
You can find out a lot about a guy in group situations, but there’s no substitute for private time with your crush. It’s tempting to try and meet in groups that will take some of the pressure off you, but groups also limit the connection you can build.
There’s a unique kind of chemistry that happens when you’re alone with someone, and that’s just what you need to turn a crush into something more.
14. Practice patience
Relationships can take time. Even if you move quickly physically, it doesn’t mean that you’ve built much of an emotional connection. You can’t rush these things, and a slow-moving relationship allows for tension to build.
Men want what they can’t have, if you make things too easy then he might lose interest. Still, there is a balancing act. You don’t want to make things too hard, or else he might think you’re not interested.
15. Make the first move
This is the 21st century, if a woman wants to make the first move she should be able to. Many men say they wish that women would be more assertive in relationships. Of course, you have to take a balanced approach.
Men don’t want a desperate woman, even if they think they do. You have to move confidently but slowly, so you can see how he reacts. If he pulls away, then give him some space. But if he moves closer to you then you can take a chance and plant a kiss on his lips.
16. Be True to yourself
Ok, full disclosure, this might not make your crush like you. But that’s OK! You have to be true to yourself above all else. True, you might be able to find out what sort of girl your crush likes and turn yourself into that girl. But even then, there’s no guarantee he’ll date you.
And if he does date you after you change yourself then you’ll never have peace. After all, will he like you or the fake person you created to impress him? There are plenty of guys out there who will love you for you. If your crush isn’t that sort of guy, then you are better off without him. Painful? Yes. But a little pain in the short run is better than a life of lies.
Searching for Cupid’s Arrows
For as long as humans have walked the face of this earth we have looked for ways to make others fall in love. The truth of the matter is that there is no magic spell you can cast to make a man like you.
Men are human beings just like you, as hard as that can be to believe sometimes. You can do things to make yourself more attractive to him but in the end, you can’t force a guy to like you.
So while you should definitely try the tips we’ve given you it’s important to be realistic. Even if your current crush doesn’t pan out you can be sure that someday the right man will come into your life, you just have to be prepared for when that day comes.