I think a guy’s biggest fear when it comes to kissing a girl for the first time is that they’re going to screw it all up and the girl won’t like them anymore. While this may be a common fear, it’s not one you should have right away. For the most part, girls are just as nervous as you are!
Most of us girls want to kiss you really bad but are also nervous we’ll mess it up. We don’t want to seem easy but we also don’t want to see inexperienced either. So really, you shouldn’t be as worried about kissing us as you might be. Being nervous is natural, but when it comes to kissing a girl for the first time, relaxing and just being yourself can sometimes be even better than going through an entire plan.
However, if you’re still overly concerned about screwing up your first kiss with a girl, we can help. There are a lot of things you can do to ensure that when you kiss a girl for the first time, you won’t screw it up. Here are the best things you can do to avoid messing up and making her not like you.
- Make sure she likes you, first.
Kissing girl without knowing whether or not she’s even into you is a huge no-no. You may be thinking she likes you when in reality, she’s only being polite. Many guys screw those two things up. In order to tell if she likes you, you have to spend time with her and allow her to get to know you. If she’s talking to you first and always asking you personal questions, she probably likes you.
- And that she wants to kiss you.
Now, just because a girl likes you doesn’t mean she wants to kiss you right away. There are definite signs that tell you a girl wants to kiss you and you can’t ignore them if you don’t want to screw it up. Firstly, if she’s standing really close to you and eyeing your lips, she probably wants to kiss you. This is a fairly obvious sign. Another is if she actually leans in to kiss you. A less obvious sign is if she talks about kissing in general.
- Take your time.
Don’t rush into the kiss. Don’t think you have to kiss her right away as soon as you can. You’re allowed to take your time and get to know someone before kissing them. And I know if you really like them it might be hard to put the brakes on your lips, but if you wait a little longer, it’ll make the kiss even better. Building tension with a kiss is sometimes the best way to not screw it up.
- Work up to the kiss by moving closer.
Don’t just throw yourself at a girl when you kiss her for the first time. You want to work your way closer to her. Start making her feel comfortable with your proximity before you try to kiss her. You may think this is silly, but it’s worth it. If she’s uncomfortable with you being really close to her, she won’t want you to kiss her anyways.
- Don’t talk about or ask to kiss her.
It may seem really polite to ask someone to kiss them, but it kind of ruins the moment. The best kisses are supposed to be a surprise. They’re supposed to happen naturally and if you ask her or tell her you’re about to do it, you’ll ruin the moment. Let the moment shine and skip over the talking before the kiss.
- Don’t ask her how it was.
And after you actually do kiss her, do NOT ask her if it was good. That will definitely screw it up even if the kiss itself was a good one. You should never ask a girl if you’re a good kisser – especially not after the first one. You’ll be able to tell if it was a good first kiss based on her reaction and if she wants to kiss you more.
- Keep it really simple.
Don’t try to make it some elaborate kiss unless you want to screw it up. Your first kisses are supposed to be simple and easy. You don’t have to make a big fuss or add a lot of tongue. Actually, that’s the worst idea. Never add tongue to a very first kiss. All you need to do to avoid screwing it up is to be gentle, soft, and sweet with your kiss. One kiss to start and if she leans in for more, give her another simple one.
- Make sure she knows you’re about to kiss her.
Without telling her out loud, make sure she knows you’re about to kiss her. You can easily do this just by leaning in closer, looking at her lips and then her eyes, and even tell her how much you like her. Usually after those things, it’s pretty clear whether or not someone wants to kiss you.
- Wait for her to kiss you again.
After you give her ONE simple kiss, wait for her to come in for more. You never want to just assume that she’ll want a lot more. By giving her just one kiss and waiting for her to lean in for more, you’re making sure she wants to kiss you. That will make her like the kiss even more and prevent you from screwing it up majorly.
- Don’t get ahead of yourself.
This is meant in the sense that you can’t be presumptuous. Don’t think that just because you got a kiss that she wants so much more from you. You can never just assume that a girl wants to take things further just because of a kiss. You start with the kiss and see how she feels. Then you get to know her more before continuing with more intimate things.
Mistakes to Avoid Making with Your First Kiss
I’m not going to lie, everyone makes mistakes when it comes to kissing someone new for the first time. That being said, we have a few steps to make it a little easier for you. These are the mistakes many people make that usually end up with a girl hating the kiss. Avoid these and you won’t screw it up.
- Rushing it.
You don’t have to kiss a girl on your first date. You don’t even have to kiss her on your second date. In fact, there’s not a specific time you should kiss a girl. You have to take your feelings and hers into account before you even kiss her. If you’re just trying to get some action and kiss her right away, that’ll obviously screw it up. However, if you take your time and get to know her first, the kiss will be much better.
- Doing too much too soon.
This is another thing a lot of guys do that cause them to completely screw up a first kiss. They go in for what should be a simple kiss and just start putting tongue into it and grabbing at the girl in all the wrong places. A first kiss needs to be sweet and simple. There is no reason for you to be trying to get a whole lot more into a kiss than she even wants. So don’t do too much too soon. That would be a huge mistake.
- Not making sure she wants it.
If you don’t take into account how the girl is feeling about wanting to kiss you, that’s a mistake you can’t make up for. She needs to be showing you all the signs that she wants the kiss just as much as you do. If you ignore the signs that she doesn’t want the kiss and you go for it anyway, you’ll ruin just about any chance you even had with her.
- Making it too long.
When it’s your first kiss, you have to slow things down. You can’t lean in and just keep your lips locked for a long time. This mistake is one that many guys make and they end up screwing things up. This is definitely related to doing too much too soon, too. Your first kiss shouldn’t be more than you pressing your lips to her gently. Then when you pull away you can determine if she wants another.
- Going in for more right away.
That being said, you have to gauge how much she wants another kiss. If she’s lingering there after the kiss, she might want more, but you can’t assume. In this situation, your best option is to wait until she leans in for a second kiss first. That will give tell you everything you need to know so you can move in for more kisses. If you just try kissing her a hundred times right away, that would be a mistake.
- Touching where she doesn’t like it.
For the most part, your hands shouldn’t wander around during your first kiss. They should be on her face or her waist. Nowhere else. If you get handsy and start groping her body in different places that she clearly doesn’t want to be touched, you’ve basically ruined your chances with her altogether. This is a giant mistake guys usually make that ends up screwing everything up with her.
- Kissing her when she doesn’t want it.
I’ve already made a point to tell you that you need to be aware of how she feels about the kiss. If she’s giving you all the signs that she wants to be kissed, great! But if you’re unsure if she wants to kiss you or not, then you should play it safe and avoid kissing her until you’re certain. There should be no room for uncertainty during a first kiss.
Your first kiss with a girl is supposed to be special and sweet. You can’t rush into things and assume she’ll like it. In order to kiss a girl for the first time and not screw it up, you should follow these tips.