Contrary to popular belief, even men need to be reassured every once in awhile. Guys have all the same feelings that girls do, they just may need a little more help expressing those feelings. All the same, a guy can sometimes feel underappreciated and insecure. Men like to feel needed, and most men have a protective streak a mile wide. It’s been drilled into men that they need to be the breadwinners and the providers.
However, if their partners are fairly independent, this may make some men feel not as important. If you make your partner feel like they’re not important, it can be cause for some unhappy times ahead in the relationship, or even the cause to end it. Relationships are, above all, a partnership between two people. There are some good ways to make a guy feel special and needed without sacrificing any independence.
1. Let him know that you respect him
Everyone likes to feel respected, especially men. Letting your partner know that you respect his feelings and his opinions is a good way to make him feel special and appreciated. Even if he messes up sometimes, it’s important to let him know that you respect him for stepping up and trying. If you make him feel like he can’t do anything right, then the relationship will start to get rocky. After all, you don’t want to be with someone you don’t respect!
2. Appreciate the little things
Don’t take the things that he does for you for granted! Even if they’re things that he’s “expected” to do, like take out the garbage or fix the car. Even the smallest, nicest things that he does deserves a bit of appreciation – even if it’s just refilling a cup of water. Thank him for all the things he does that make your life easier, the same way he would thank you. He’ll feel happier and more appreciated.
3. Show him your love
Be demonstrative in your affection! This doesn’t always mean physical affection. It can be things like buying him a small gift, or cooking him dinner after a long day, or getting him tickets to his favorite sports team. Love is more than just about telling someone that you love them. Actions speak louder than words, so it’s always good to make sure that your guy know that you love him by showing him, also.
4. Don’t be afraid to ask him for help
Even if you’re fairly independent, it’s important to know that there’s nothing wrong with being vulnerable and asking for help. Especially when you ask your partner for help, he’ll feel more appreciated that you came to him in your time of need rather than trying to whether it alone. Relationships are all about partnerships. Once you show him that you know he’s on your side, he’ll feel special that you chose to him to show your more vulnerable side to.
5. Be a little possessive
Now, don’t go overboard! You’re not going to make him feel good about himself if you’re too clingy. However, even when you trust your partner completely, men sometimes like to feel wanted. Even once in awhile, give in to your possessive side. It’ll make him feel wanted and show him that you’re not interested in losing him. It can also be a good ego boost, and he’ll really enjoy it.
6. Learn to apologize
Arguments in relationships happen, and they can’t always be avoided. However, if you’re the type of person to always know exactly who started the fight and refuse to back down, it may be making your partner feel worn down. Learning to make up and let go can help your partner feel much more appreciated, because it’ll let him know that your relationship is more important than keeping score over who started the latest spat. You can hold your own opinions and stand your ground without making your partner feel under appreciated. Of course, this doesn’t mean to let your partner walk all over you. As always, there’s a healthy middle ground that will benefit you both!
7. Show him that you miss him
Even if you had a blast while he was away on business or visiting his family because you could finally sleep in the middle of the bed and sit around in your underwear – it’s important to let your partner know that you miss him. Send him a sappy text, or jump into his arms the minute he walks through the door. He’ll be so happy that you missed him that he’ll be smiling for days.
8. Let him know he’s a good boyfriend
Of course, if he isn’t, then you’ll want to skip this step, and maybe get an upgrade. However, if he’s a great boyfriend and the two of you get along and love each other, don’t forget to let him know. It’s easy to accidentally take the people that we love for granted, because we assume that they’re always going to be in our lives. However, this can make our loved ones feel under appreciated. To make sure your man is always feeling special, take the time to let him know what a great boyfriend he is.
9. Be affectionate
Demonstrate your love through affection. Hold his hand in the streets, or put your arm around him when you’re together. Sneak him kisses over dinner and curl up with him on the couch for a movie. Guys like to pretend that they don’t like all that mushy stuff, but really, everyone likes to have their partner demonstrate their affection. And yes, guys even love it when you play with their hair. So, the next time you’re watching TV, switch the roles and put his head in your lap and run your fingers through his hair. He may pretend to hate it, but deep down he’s glad that you’re demonstrating your affection.
10. Ask him for advice
It doesn’t have to be life changing. In fact, it can be something as simple as deciding what to do about a situation at work, or how to handle a conflict with a friend. When you ask for his advice, you’re showing him that you care about his thoughts and opinions, and letting him know that you appreciate what he has to say. Even if you don’t end up dating his advice, you’ll definitely make him feel good that you thought highly of him enough to ask. And, if you do end up taking his advice, he’ll be over the moon that he was able to help you resolve something.
11. Don’t reject his attempts to make you happy
Even if he’s a terrible cook and has no idea how to make you breakfast in bed, let him give it a try. If you point out that he’s not very good at it, that’s only going to make him feel both silly for trying and underappreciated. Rebuking his efforts at trying to be sweet will only ensure that he doesn’t keep trying in the future. So let him make you strange, slightly burnt pancakes. It’s the thought that counts, and you two will have good memories.
12. Thank him
Make sure you say “Thank you” as often as possible. It can be so easy to take things for granted when you’re in a relationship, so make sure you remember your manners. Saying things like, “Can you please…?” and “Thank you for…!” can show that you still appreciate all the things that he does for you, no matter how big or small. Simply appreciating what he does can go a long way, but remembering to thank him for those things can make the biggest difference.
13. Make important decisions together
Don’t forget to consult him on things, even if you feel like you shouldn’t have to. Relationships are partnerships, and if you run off and do something big and life changing without talking to him first, he may feel like you don’t really care that he’s in your life at all. Whether it’s quitting your job, changing career paths or picking up and moving to a new city, consulting your partner will make him feel appreciated and part of the process. Even if, ultimately, the decision is up to you.
14. Don’t be bossy
Confidence and independence are one thing, but if you become overbearing, he may feel suffocated. Relationships are a two way street, so if you start acting like you don’t need him in your life at all, he may start to think that you don’t actually want him there. There’s ways to maintain your independence without alienating your partner.
15. Tell him your secrets
When you trust your partner enough to share your innermost secrets, he’ll get a big boost of confidence. Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship, and when your man knows that you trust him, he’ll feel appreciated and special. After all, you don’t share your secrets with just anyone, or else then they wouldn’t be secrets!
Making a guy feel special and appreciated is easier than one might think. Demonstrating how you feel and expressing your emotions can go a long way to making your partner feel validated, special and important. Relationships are much happier when everyone feels more confident in themselves, and these tips will make sure that your man knows that you appreciate him and are in it for the long haul.