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How to Make Him Miss You After a Fight

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You had a fight, and you aren’t talking. If it was a bad enough fight, you may have even broken up or decided to take a break from the relationship. Now that you have had time to think about things, you realize that the argument did not really matter. You miss being with him, and you just wish that you could go back to the hour before the fight and keep it from happening.

For days, you have been depressed. It seems like he has completely gotten over you and moved on. He does not seem to care about the fight or the problem in your relationship nearly as much as you do. You want him to miss you as much as you miss him. Now, the question is how you will go about doing that.

Before you go to extreme measures, try to reach out and talk to him first. The best relationships are based on communication, and you may be able to get over the fight by talking through the problem. Be careful when you do this though. If you just reopen the same argument, it could make things worse. You both have to be willing to put your differences behind if you want to move on from the fight. If just talking to him won’t work, try the other ideas in this list.

1. Keep It Casual

You miss him greatly and just want to move on. Be careful though. If he realizes that you miss him too much, then he may take you for granted and feel like you will always come back to him. If you go overboard in trying to reach out to him, it can also come across as needy and clingy. While you want to know how he is doing since the fight, you don’t want to overdo it. He needs to think about whether he has made the right decision in moving on. If you bombard him with messages, he will not have time to realize his mistake and reconsider his decision.

2. Cut Off (Most) Communication

One of the biggest traps to watch out for is in communication. In MRI studies, the brain actually looks like it is mentally ill after a break up. Because of this, you are basically temporarily insane after a break up. This can lead you to do things you would never normally do like texting, calling and emailing your boyfriend constantly.

Constant texts are a problem for many reasons. The first issue is that it will make you seem clingy and needy. It can drive him away from you by reminding him of everything that he does not want in a relationship. In addition, the first person to reach out after a fight often has the least power in solving the argument. It shows that you are willing to do anything to solve the problem, which can be an issue.

Obviously, you do want to be open to communication if you want to solve your problems and move on. At the same time, there is a careful balance. You do not want him to take you for granted or view you as someone who is always at his beck and call. If he reaches out, talk to him. Otherwise, give him a little space so that he actually has time to miss you. He can only miss you if you aren’t there. If you are bombarding with texts, he will never miss you and may start to wish that you would just go away.

3. Focus on Yourself

This argument could be an opportunity. You have a chance at this moment to learn more about yourself and what you want. When the relationship starts up again, you can be a better person. When you are single, you have a chance to explore interests that you never had time for before. You can reconnect to yourself, learn from your mistakes and be a more awesome version of you.

The good news about this approach is that it will keep you busy. You won’t be as focused on him, so it will make it easier to give him time to miss you. Plus, he will now be missing someone who is even more amazing. He will hear about your new hobbies or your after work language class and realize that you were too good for him. Each new talent or hobby that you pick up is a reminder of the relationship that he is missing out on.

4. Avoid Being Cold

When someone hurts you, your first response is to shut down. It is natural to want to prevent yourself from being hurt again. Unfortunately, this can make it even harder to get back together. You may feel bitter, hurt or depressed about the way the relationship ended. When you get in touch with him again, some of this hurt may make you sound cold.

In some cases, you may even try to sound intentionally cold. You do not want to seem too eager or excited to talk to him, so you unintentionally seem cold or bitter. You have to be extremely careful about how you talk to him. Treat him like you would a friend or co-worker. He is someone you want to talk to, but not someone that you sound eager or overly excited to hear from.

If you are unintentionally cold, it can drive him away from you. He will think that you no longer care and move on. Instead, you have to find the careful balance between not being too cold and not being too eager. Treat him like you would a friend and be slightly aloof. Get him talking and listen to what he says. He has a reason for getting in touch with you again, so give him a chance to make that move before you decide how to respond.

While you can learn how to make him miss you after a fight, it won’t always be easy. Sometimes, the relationship was just meant to end. You have to take care of your own heart and focus on yourself. If the relationship was meant to be, you will end up together again later on.

217 COMMENTS

  1. my boyfriend has problem with trust he has been hurt many times in the past maybe that’s why he can’t trust me yesterday he even told me he can’t love like the way he used to

    • He has informed you that he doesn’t trust or love you. This means that he is not interested in nourishing this relationship. Take this time to make a decision about what you want for the future. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well.

  2. Okay my guy has ocd,and we end up fighting mostly on things like dirtying the house or leaving the house while a fight happens,soo I want help as to how I can make him realise that I am as impt as him in this relationship too

    • It seems that your partner treats you in an inappropriate manner. He may have a mental health issue that needs to be addressed. If he has not been diagnosed with any disorder, then he may be falsely using this as a reason to abuse you. Either help him realize he needs support, or consider what decision that you feel is appropriate for the future. If he doesn’t respect you, then you should end your relationship.

  3. We have been dating for 3 months. At first, he was so loving, caring and romantic. But recently he has changed so much, he snaps at every little thing, he sees my complaints as nagging. He’s unnecessarily rude to me and his manner of approach is totally wrong. He’s always in the mood to fight. This particular issues have caused the recent quarrels we have had. How do I make him realize his wrong attitude cause I have tried talking to him but to no avail. He feels he’s never wrong.
    I’m tired and I would break up for the second time if this persists.

    • There may be various reasons for his actions. There may be a serious issue that he feels needs to be addressed. It seems that you feel that his feelings are inappropriate, though he may feel the same way about you. Take this time to make a decision about what you want for your future. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings, and give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well.

  4. We have kids so it’s hardly as trivial as “just break up”. Lately we’ve both been on edge and neither of us have been dealing well with each others feelings. I’ve tried saying it directly but often words aren’t enough, or even trigger an unintended response. How do I show that I appreciate, understand and love him, without also compromising my opinion after a fight?

    Basically I want to undo the fight without undoing the resolution?

    • It is impossible to undo a fight. The only thing that you can do is change your behaviors. You may find that you are interested in becoming a better partner, but your partner may not have realized that he wants to make a change yet. In your future disagreements, it is best to not bring up the past. If possible, you should never address his past failings, and inform him that you would prefer that he refrained from doing so as well.

  5. I have a long distance relationship for more than 2 yrs now. He’s from a different country and everytime we plan to see each other it didn’t happen. Last night we had a fight because to be honest I’m still thinking that he might fuck around and he might like other girls. He’s planing about our future and so do I. And now we don’t talk us usual our relationship is quite cold now.

    • You are maintaining a long distance relationship with someone, but it is clear that you have concerns about his behaviors. Take this time to consider whether or not this relationship is viable. If you are interested in concluding this relationship, then inform him of your decision. If you want to nourish your connection, then you will need to attempt to spend time with him in person. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings, and give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well.

  6. Ive been only going out with a guy for a month. But I’ve realize that I’m quickly falling for him. However, he recently argued that he dislikes the way I show affection. It hurts because I’m not typically the one to put my guard down so soon. Though he does show some red flags with being quite defensive and overly assertive. He became upset/angry that during out our bickering I got frustrated and started crying. I apologized for overstepping his boundaries that led to the argument but he completely shut down and left. Is he worth reaching out to? Could this still be a favorable relationship even though we are already disagreeing?

    • It seems like you are aware of the red flags that are occurring in your relationship. His behaviors indicate that he is not interested in maintaining a respectful relationship at this time. However, you are aware of his behaviors in person. Take this time to make a decision about what you want for the future of this relationship. If you decide against pursuing this relationship, then do not reach out to him.

  7. I had a fight with my bf. I recently got diagnosed with PCOS and he knows nd my mood switches very fast. So it was a small issue but we ended up in a big fight. In rage of anger i said that its over now and i disconnected the call. Now its been 2 days since we have spoken. I want to continue the relationship but i dont want to take the first step. If he calls me i will apologise but i dont want to call him becoz that is what i always do and i think he thinks i m easy in these fights. He never understood my mental health and said that its nothing just don’t take any stress but its easier said than done. So idk what to do

    • You broke up with him. You should not expect him to call. You have stated that your mental health is a concern, so you should seek treatment. If you do not choose to seek treatment, then you should realize that it is your decision to not seek treatment that is damaging your relationships, not your partners’ reaction to your behaviors.

  8. My BF and I have been dating for 5 months and he never wants to take a photo with me , he says that his camera shy and I should wait till his more confident , which I respect but whenever it’s his friends or anyone else he doesn’t mind being in a video with them and taking a photo which makes me feel insecure , I’ve nagged to the point that he agrees to take one with me . I hate I had to ask so much and that we have had fights over this situation that I’m not even interested in taking any photos with him .

    • It seems that his behaviors are unusual. There may be another reason for why he won’t take your picture. If his behaviors are suspicious, then he may have a reason to keep your relationship secret. It is reasonable to take photos with your partner. This is a serious issue, as it is clear that he is not photo shy. Speak directly with him about your concerns, as this issue may be based on more serious problems.

  9. We have been dating for about 7 years but he has anger and pride issue,
    I hurt him before when I never understood his kind of person because he always says he is right always, he refuses to admit to mistakes , if he talks rudely and I complain he will say I don’t like to hear the truth, but if i talk the same way he will pick offense and ignore me for days, but he still do everything for me, he buy me gifts pay most of my bills even when he is ignoring me, I don’t understand what is going on, if he actually he loves me as he said, or I don’t know what am into, am just confused and frustrated now , he wants to marry me, does he have any mental issues

    • You are aware of his behaviors and you know that his neglect and abuse may become more apparent in the future. He may not have mental health issues, but it is clear that he isn’t considerate of your feelings. Consider what type of life that you want to live in the future. If you are interested in pursuing this relationship, then you need to speak with him about your concerns regarding his behaviors before you make a serious commitment with him.

  10. My bf and I have been dating for over a year,he claims to love me but never practicalise it .he begs me any time I tell him I want a break up(tho i wasn’t too real about it cus I love him so much).He neither keeps my pic on his gallery nor post it but he has numerous pics of a particular girl.i confronted him many times but he claims he has nothing to do with her..I got frustrated at a point ND begged to Kno y he has been maltreating me( I don’t mean beating ).he said he was only trying to see if I’m real with him due to his past experience with other ladies.Now, I broke up with him but I still don’t want to loose him,I just want him to realize his mistakes

    • You are aware that his behaviors were inappropriate. This lead you to end your relationship. Instead of worrying about him, you should allow your thoughts of him to fade. Allow your experiences to guide your future choices when it comes to your relationships. You will draw positive people and energy into your life by sharing your kindness and compassion at all times.

  11. My fiancée and I had a huge argument that escalated into yelling at each other. This was so hurtful as we never thought we would arrive to this point. He is very resentful and I am as well. He told me that he doesn’t want that kind of drama near his kids. And that he regrets getting engaged with me. I am devastated because I’m at his guest house in a different country than mine and I don’t want to loose him. He has been stressed because of his job and because he can loose his car. + his kids are going through a rough time because their step mother is taking away their little brother to live in another state. I don’t know what it’s my place in his life and he told me that right now his priority is to put order in his life as it’s falling apart. We got engaged only 2 months after we met. And we communicated great before. But with this virus and the stress that this brings we became total strangers. What can I do to win him back? Should I leave and let him solve his problems? Should I stay one more week so at least we go back to normal and then leave? Or should I simply give up? I feel so much pain and I miss him so much…

    • It seems that he has made his feelings clear. He informed you that he regrets getting engaged to you. You should not get married to him if he feels this way, and especially if this argument has had a drastic negative impact on your relationship. If the two of you end your relationship, then you should reconsider becoming engaged to someone after only knowing them for a short period of time. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings, and give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well.

  12. Have been in a close relationship with my hubby for over 7 months, he has been caring, loving and respectful. Bt all in all of recently he had started acting weird, he couldn’t communicate like he used to, takes long to call, takes long to reply my texts. I had told him to give me his mum’s number I check on her and ignored, 3 days back his sister gave me the number and I called, on him realising that he is all mad and annoyed of me. He doesn’t pick up my calls. What can I do for him?

    • You seem to not be aware of the reason for why your husband is upset at you. This indicates that he has not shared his feelings with you, which may mean that the issue is his alone. You may want to speak with him about your thoughts and feelings, and give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. This will help the two of you figure out what issue it is that needs to be resolved.

  13. In a relationship, when I tell my partner to stop playing rough with me, and I tell him the reasons he acts differently, I feel he doesn’t understand me especially when I say no to something

    • You are being clear with him about your feelings. Because of this, there is no reason why he shouldn’t respect your concerns. If his behaviors continue, then it is clear that he isn’t interested in maintaining a mature relationship with you. Consider what you want for your future and take appropriate action.

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