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How to Make Him Miss You After a Fight

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You had a fight, and you aren’t talking. If it was a bad enough fight, you may have even broken up or decided to take a break from the relationship. Now that you have had time to think about things, you realize that the argument did not really matter. You miss being with him, and you just wish that you could go back to the hour before the fight and keep it from happening.

For days, you have been depressed. It seems like he has completely gotten over you and moved on. He does not seem to care about the fight or the problem in your relationship nearly as much as you do. You want him to miss you as much as you miss him. Now, the question is how you will go about doing that.

Before you go to extreme measures, try to reach out and talk to him first. The best relationships are based on communication, and you may be able to get over the fight by talking through the problem. Be careful when you do this though. If you just reopen the same argument, it could make things worse. You both have to be willing to put your differences behind if you want to move on from the fight. If just talking to him won’t work, try the other ideas in this list.

1. Keep It Casual

You miss him greatly and just want to move on. Be careful though. If he realizes that you miss him too much, then he may take you for granted and feel like you will always come back to him. If you go overboard in trying to reach out to him, it can also come across as needy and clingy. While you want to know how he is doing since the fight, you don’t want to overdo it. He needs to think about whether he has made the right decision in moving on. If you bombard him with messages, he will not have time to realize his mistake and reconsider his decision.

2. Cut Off (Most) Communication

One of the biggest traps to watch out for is in communication. In MRI studies, the brain actually looks like it is mentally ill after a break up. Because of this, you are basically temporarily insane after a break up. This can lead you to do things you would never normally do like texting, calling and emailing your boyfriend constantly.

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Constant texts are a problem for many reasons. The first issue is that it will make you seem clingy and needy. It can drive him away from you by reminding him of everything that he does not want in a relationship. In addition, the first person to reach out after a fight often has the least power in solving the argument. It shows that you are willing to do anything to solve the problem, which can be an issue.

Obviously, you do want to be open to communication if you want to solve your problems and move on. At the same time, there is a careful balance. You do not want him to take you for granted or view you as someone who is always at his beck and call. If he reaches out, talk to him. Otherwise, give him a little space so that he actually has time to miss you. He can only miss you if you aren’t there. If you are bombarding with texts, he will never miss you and may start to wish that you would just go away.

3. Focus on Yourself

This argument could be an opportunity. You have a chance at this moment to learn more about yourself and what you want. When the relationship starts up again, you can be a better person. When you are single, you have a chance to explore interests that you never had time for before. You can reconnect to yourself, learn from your mistakes and be a more awesome version of you.

The good news about this approach is that it will keep you busy. You won’t be as focused on him, so it will make it easier to give him time to miss you. Plus, he will now be missing someone who is even more amazing. He will hear about your new hobbies or your after work language class and realize that you were too good for him. Each new talent or hobby that you pick up is a reminder of the relationship that he is missing out on.

4. Avoid Being Cold

When someone hurts you, your first response is to shut down. It is natural to want to prevent yourself from being hurt again. Unfortunately, this can make it even harder to get back together. You may feel bitter, hurt or depressed about the way the relationship ended. When you get in touch with him again, some of this hurt may make you sound cold.

In some cases, you may even try to sound intentionally cold. You do not want to seem too eager or excited to talk to him, so you unintentionally seem cold or bitter. You have to be extremely careful about how you talk to him. Treat him like you would a friend or co-worker. He is someone you want to talk to, but not someone that you sound eager or overly excited to hear from.



If you are unintentionally cold, it can drive him away from you. He will think that you no longer care and move on. Instead, you have to find the careful balance between not being too cold and not being too eager. Treat him like you would a friend and be slightly aloof. Get him talking and listen to what he says. He has a reason for getting in touch with you again, so give him a chance to make that move before you decide how to respond.

While you can learn how to make him miss you after a fight, it won’t always be easy. Sometimes, the relationship was just meant to end. You have to take care of your own heart and focus on yourself. If the relationship was meant to be, you will end up together again later on.

45 COMMENTS

  1. My boyfriend and I have not been reaching out,I tried calling him but he sounds cold and seems like he doesn’t want to hear from me. What should I do?

    • He may no longer be interested in maintaining a relationship. He may be busy or going through a stressful situation. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. If he is rude to you or ignores you, then you are aware of his feelings. Have a great day, Felix!

  2. I’ve been the one doing all the calling and checking out on my boyfriend and it feels like though am dating myself,I feel so unloved.Should I stop contacting my boyfriend for this reason?

    • He may no longer be interested in maintaining a relationship. He may be busy or going through a stressful situation. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. If he is rude to you or ignores you, then you are aware of his feelings. Have a great day, Felix!

  3. I had a fight w/ my bf. We have been together for for 10 yrs, not married or engaged either. His excuse for a promise ring when I brought it up a few yrs back was, I did Not know what that was. Even if bought at ross, I would have accepted. And financial difficulties he blames on. Well fought re: Our plan for Saturday.I had agreed to clean investment property that he supposedly wants to sell and buy a home & marry me. The house was rented before & not up kept& I did alot of painting and cleaning. Some repairs were done and I needed time that day to get it nice snd clean to show to a man whom supposedly is interested. My bf was going down there to installa light fixture in the bathrm & I was going to mop all the floors & clean the bathrooms again. He has a history of leaving things for the last minute, I had to beg him the day prior to go and carry the shutters up in the garage & rid some trash from the garage. The moment I walked in the car I acted normal but I was trying to condense to less places to go before going to the vacant property he owns to spend the night cleaning, I ask him in the car what places and things do you need to get? He never planned or managed time, I try and help & then I am told I have the attitude, he even told me He could be doing other things, that I like to start a fight. I was even told that I came with an attitude snd fod not want to go clean it. Like I mention there was plenty to do in that house, I brought a change of clothes and condensed the places we went to, so we would have time to get the house ready for the following day. I was so mad with his attitude I said 10yrs no ring, you lied to me when I met you I expressed that within (4) yrs I wanted to be married and was looking for that type of relationship. You said you were about that. What do I get out of cleaning this you Asshole I called him, if in 20 yrs no ring. And you were not upfront with me, telling me I have high standards, I said. He claims he loves me and is always there for me anytime. Also he did not let me pay for anything that day. I did not like the way I was treated he even told me if I did not like then, like saying then go. I intended on cleaning yhe house I had my hair in a pony tail & wore big hoop earrings & had a pedicure done and even brought cute flip flop wedges (in a bag) and tried to look made up as possible. But his attitude was hurtful when he said that then go, I said yea, then guess what we are over. And thats when I brought up no ting & 10 yrs etc. and that I was not going to go there and clean and fix up the house for what so he can profit out of it and me 10 yrs no ring and he should have done something about that.
    He said its my decision not his to end that he wants to be with me, but also said that behaving like this Thats why I dont have a ring. Obviously he was driving so I had him drop me off and I stayed in my home. How long should I wait for him yo text back. I feel hurt, and I don’t want to break up but, I am usually the one to text 1st after an argument.
    Do you think he will text back or its over? Sorry for the lengthyness
    Also we have no issues w/ cheating. And financial issues have been caused by his mother passing away 3yrs ago & before that his father was very sick & req. surgeries now he is fine.

    • He may not have known what a promise ring is, as not everyone is aware of such things. He is interested in maintaining this relationship with you. He believes that you are attempting to end this relationship. If you want to nourish this relationship, then speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Attempt to spend additional time with him in person. Have a great day, Sonia!

  4. my boyfriend broke up with his ex..bt she keeps coming back nd begging him to date her while am still in a relationship with him…she forces her self more…she visits him almost everyday and its makes me jealous each time i confront him about it he keeps saying the just friends but the do visit in the dark..i dont knw what to do….should i end up or fight back?

    • His ex feels a strong emotional and social connection with your partner. He has chosen to continue to visit her. Determine what you want for your future. Decide if this relationship is viable and if you can trust your partner. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. After than conversation, you should take whatever action you believe is appropriate. Have a great day, Bernice!

  5. My boyfriend said he need time to calm down and think after our fight.I want to have a talk. He said he will call me when he is free . But he never did. What should I do ? Is this a break up ? How do I win him back?

    • He has shared his thoughts and feelings with you. He needs time to determine what he wants for the future of your relationship. You should do the same. Perhaps reach out to him in a few days to share your thoughts and feelings with him. Give him an opportunity to do the same. The two of you can determine what you want for your relationship at that time. Have a great day, Isobel!

      • He called. We agree to reconcile and move on. But he no longer acting the same. He is withdrawn , quiet, withholding affection and not as caring anymore. What should I do ? How to win him back without looking desperate ?

        • The two of you have decided to reconcile. His behaviors have changed. This change in his behaviors has made you feel insecure and uncertain. Determine what you want for your future, and decide how you want to feel in your relationship. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Ensure that he has a chance to share himself with you as well. This discussion will lead you toward an appropriate decision. Have a great day, Isobel!

          • Thanks a lot for your reply. I really appreciate it . I told him about my feelings . He said he was dissappointed in me as in the pqst , he has done a lot for me yet I still felt unloved. Thus caused our fight and now , he said he don’t know what to do anymore. But he wants to reconcile and wants to forgive and forget. I have tried to be extra nice and caring . Yet he still acting aloof . What should I do ?

  6. Anytime we argue and end up fighting even if he’s wrong am still the one who will call him to apologize.. if we fight, he can go three days without speaking to call or checking up on me and even when I call and apologize he’d still take long to accept my apology ..Don’t know if its pride bcoz after the fight and apologies we’d go back to normal

    • If he does not apologize to you, then he does not think that he has done anything wrong. If you feel that he owes you an apology, then determine what you want with this relationship. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Ensure that you do not allow your partner to verbally abuse you. Share your kindness and compassion with everyone in your life. Have a great day, Maria!

  7. Comment:my boyfriend can go days without talking to me after something so stupid,and I will call and message and still apologise even though he’s wrong..I asked him why he did not call me all day and he took it as a big deal and did not reply my messages anymore or call..Then I called him the next day and he was like I shouldn’t apologise to him,then I was expecting him to text me or something but he did not..Only for me to upload a status on Facebook,immediately he saw it was when he messaged,obviously, he remembered me because he saw a post from me..I decided not to reply
    is that the right thing?because my pride and self dignity is being trampled on by him,I need to get that back

    • He has decided that he is no longer interested in speaking with you. This behavior is an indication that he may not respect you. Do not apologize in the future if you have done nothing wrong. This will ensure that he continues to act in an inappropriate manner. Determine what you want for your future. If you want to nourish this relationship, then speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Janet!

  8. I met this guy 2weeks ago and now we are dating.. we already had sex,he’s so romantic but sucks in bed..I asked to send him money for some reasons.. he took it as an insult and now he won’t call or text back.. I’m scared he’ll go I really like him..

    • Give him some space. For some reason, he took it as an insult, but texting him or trying to talk to him a lot right now won’t help. Whatever is going on in his mind, he has to figure it out on his own. There is nothing wrong with giving a date money for something, so he should get over this if you give him space to realize it. If he doesn’t get over it though, then it might be a sign that he really wasn’t boyfriend material. Just give him some space and let him cool off on his own. Good luck, Vee!

  9. I’ve been dating with my bf for almost 2 weeks now.
    Last friday, I told him I was going on vacation the next friday for 10 days with my bestfriend.
    A couple of days later, he asked if I wanted to go on a weekend trip with him the following weekend.
    The problem is, That weekend I was on vacation with my bestfriend.
    He got mad cuz he wanted to go on that trip but I told him a couple of days before that I went on vacation…
    That same day, he was so cold.
    We didn’t talk like before and it hurt so much…
    I saw him the same day to talk about it.
    When we saw each other, he kissed me and after that, we sat down.
    There was a long and awkward silence…
    He asked me if i was going to talk and i said i would.
    He told me he couldn’t see me the next day but maybe the day after.
    I asked him if he was still mad about the trip.
    He told my he wasn’t but cuz of his work he’s tired and he wanted to go on a trip together just to have some for us two cuz he had the money of his work.
    I told him i really wanted to go but my mom already payed my vacation so i couldn’t cancel it…
    And i wouldn’t let my bestfriend down for a last-minute decided trip with him…
    Me and my bestfriend booked this vacation like 3 weeks before…
    Anyways, we talk a little and then he kissed me and we cuddled a little.
    He told me “i love you” before he had to go.
    But, i was scared it was the last time i got to see him cuz i knew he wasn’t happy about it…
    The same night, i bought him his birthday present online.
    The next day, i told him i ordered it.
    His answer was literally “i told you you didn’t have to”.
    And he was pretty cold.
    Did i buy this present for nothing?
    Btw he never told me i didn’t have to buy a present for him…
    I feel like he’s still mad i don’t know what’s going on.
    What i know is that i’m worried to lose him…
    Why is he suddenly mad for the smallest things?
    Why does he give me the feeling like i don’t mean much to him as much as he means to me?
    why do i feel like our relationship is destroyed?
    Doesn’t he love me as much as before?
    How do i get him to miss me after that fight?
    I really need advice for this, cuz i don’t know what to do anymore.
    Thanks already.

    • The discussion that the two of you had caused his feelings to change. There may be other reasons in his life that influenced this change. This may mean that your relationship may also be looking toward an alteration. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. If he ignores you to does not treat you well, then you are aware of his feelings regarding this relationship. Have a great day, Lili!

  10. In my own case, anytime I have an argument with my boyfriend, he always abuse me with my past and wouldn’t even think about my emotions. He always apologize but still repeat same thing another day and he will still compare me with his ex. What should I do

    • Your partner has chosen to abuse you. His continual reactions are signs of different problems that are his own. His thoughts about his ex are likely causing him to behave in this manner. He may still have an emotional connection with his ex. Determine what kind of relationship that you want to nourish. Decide what you want for your future. Speak with your partner about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Kee!

  11. I recently brought up an issue with my long distance relationship boyfriend about him not getting butterflies when he thinks of me and i though he is not in love like he says . This is after me asking if it true a guy can know you are the one after few minutes of dating a girl and he said he cant recall the last time he felt that way. I felt disappointed and told him that my version of love is to make a guy get butterflies and be afraid to loose me when he thinks of me. So if i dont make him feel that way then am not the one for him. He went silent since that. I kind of miss him and i dont what to do. Should i move on?

    • Each person has a different feeling of love. Not all people feel butterflies in their stomach. You told him that he did not love you based on your personal expectations of feelings of love. This likely caused him to feel as though you did not love him, as that would be a reasonable things to think. Your comment is an indication that you are no longer interested in nourishing a relationship with him. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Liz!

  12. Me and my bf recently had a fight over something minor but is a constant problem that arises. He tried to apologise, made me breakfast but I was so angry and didn’t let it go. Half the day went by and I was still ignoring him and moaning at him. Then he just snapped and screamed at me, told him to get out of his house and that he didn’t want to be around me. It’s now two days since the argument and he still hasn’t spoken to me or anything. He’s basically ignoring my existence. We’ve been together nearly 5 years, I live at his house and we were in talks of buying a house together. I’ve tried to get him to talk, apologised multiple times, bought him chocolate, all for him to chuck back in my face and say he didn’t want them or to be around me. What should I do? Are you going to break up?

    • The two of you seem to have numerous arguments and he has chosen to not speak with you. This relationship may no longer be viable. You have attempted to address this problem, and he chose to respond with anger. Determine what you want for your future, and decide what type of relationship you want to nourish. Have a great day, Jessica!

  13. I dated my x for 8months….in between d 8months he broke up with me claiming I was a nag even though I knew I hardly complained. After four months he came back beging I forgave him…. Claiming my x threatened him.last month he came around ..we stayed together then he left… After he left I called we spoke…. D next day I kept calling he never picked… On Monday he sent me a breakup text… Claiming my x is threatening him…. On hearing this… I wadsap my x and he said he haven’t even seen him over 3months that he was just recovering…. My x just lied… I moved on.. On the 5th of November… He was to resume a new job at ecowas… I sent him a prayer text… He read it and blocked me… What do I do?

    • He has blocked you. He has chosen to end your relationship. He is no longer wiling or able to nourish a relationship with you at this time. Determine what you you want for your future without him. Continue to share your kindness and compassion with everyone in your life. If he reaches out to you in the future, then share your thoughts and feelings with him at that time. Have a great day, Winifred!

  14. We were all lovey-dovey for the past 4 months. Then two weeks ago we had a pregnancy scare. (I am not prego!!) he freaked out and got insomnia. We talked and he told me he didn’t really feel a true connection with me. He was trying to be a great boyfriend and could not with me. I felt so blindsided cos he acknowledged we were in a relationship. He said also though that we could either move forward to find the connection or scale back. By the time of him saying that I was already so upset, and I said we shouldn’t contact each other. He agreed and we just left it there.
    Makes so sad… have not had any contact for a whole week. No one reached out to the other. I drafted an email not sure if I should send it. Shouldn’t he be the one reaching out first? He is the one who said those hurtful things and made me break up w him. Should I wait some more? Or just cut tie?

    • The two of you have made a decision to end this relationship. His realization caused him to understand that he could not maintain a relationship with you at this time. His behaviors informed you that he could not give you the stability that you need. Determine what you want for your future without him, and ensure that your share your positive energy with everyone who is in your life. Have a great day, Abby!

        • Thank you for sharing your insights and experiences. Please share more of your thoughts and feelings in the future. Have a great day, Abby!

          • still struggle with this.. want to reach out and tell my feelings. Part of me still wants to get back with him. I just heard him out w/o expressing my own thoughts in our last call… cos I was so shocked and hurt! I miss him so much? argh! it’s been 12 days of complete silence… I want closure 🙁 What to do?

          • He has not spoken to you in twelve days. This relationship has ended. You can determine what you want to do for your future. If you want to, then speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. However, you will find benefit in allowing thoughts of him to fade. Determine what you want for your future without him. Have a great day, Abby!

  15. Thank you this is really what I need to hear. I just Need to stick to my gun and knowing this is indeed over!! Bottom line is he hurts me and if he is not reaching out at all it just says that this is not meant to be. Reaching out to him will not help and only lose my dignity. Thanks again for your speedy response. you have no idea how much this helps me!

    • Thank you for sharing your supportive comment. Please share more of your insights and experiences in the future. It is certain that your comments will help other members of our community in the future. Have a great day, Abby!

  16. Thank you this is really what I need to hear. I just Need to stick to my gun and knowing this is indeed over!! Bottom line is he hurts me and if he is not reaching out at all it just says that this is not meant to be. Reaching out to him will not help and only lose my dignity. Thanks again for your speedy response. It helps me!

    • Thank you for sharing your supportive comment. Please share more of your insights and experiences in the future. It is certain that your comments will help other members of our community in the future. Have a great day, Abby!

      • I’m back, with an update. Well, on Thanksgiving he finally reached out after 3 weeks of complete silence. He texted me with a pic of him wearing something I bought for him, and wished me Happy Thanksgiving. Not sure what he was really thinking…if he wants to talk to me he needs to say more than that, right? I thought his text was pretty lame so I replied “Thanks, and the same to you”. That’s it. Nothing from him since then so I’m continuing my no contact and moving on.

        • He reached out to you. You responded with a short message. He likely took that as a sign to not continue the conversation. You have decided to move on from this relationship. That is a perfectly reasonable and acceptable decision. Allow thoughts of him to fade. Focus your emotional energy elsewhere. Have a great day, Abby!

  17. Hello, my case is so confusing I really don’t know what to do, we dated already for 10months and I left him not up to a month he texted me with a picture with a girl n himself and when I asked who she was he said she was the cousin and later on he called about a week later and told me the girl is his new girlfriend and he doesn’t need me in his life anymore,i was shocked the girl took the phone from him and started abusing me, he even asked me to return a phone he got me and since then I’ve not cried for this break up,i still ask myself why but my friends were just saying I’m still in shock, but what I don’t understand is how he could have changed suddenly,we both loved each other him in particular to the extent he fights for me and carried me like an egg, I never felt that genuine sweet love before he made me part of his life he introduced me to everything related to him including his mum, he loved me so much,i even helped him stop his taking of drug habits but now I heard he’s gone back, I really miss him, after we broke up I sent his mum a birthday cake and when he texted me to thank me I said welcome and he asked if we could just be cool I didn’t reply that he then asked when I was coming back I told him I’d hit him up once am back, and I included it would be best if we stop talking to each other and that was my anger talk, he only texts me now to ask when I’m coming back to school to return his phones, I don’t know what to do,i really really love him, and still not convinced he’s going to just cheat on me after because of a girl with bigger butt than mine 😒I don’t know what went wrong In my relationship,😥😥I really miss my love please help

    • Your relationship has ended. Your ex has shown you that he is not willing to treat you with respect. Allow this relationship to fade. Determine what you want for your future without him. He has asked you to return the phone, so decide what you feel is appropriate. You will certainly find benefit in blocking him and no longer speaking with him. Have a great day, Melly!

  18. well, I had a special someone, I dont know what we were , not a couple ofc and not a friend ofc( I think we both crush on each other like etc) So we were talkıng on phone everyday and sendıng memes. And we were there for each other on baddays and gooddays. We know each other for 2 years and we were close for 2 years. Sometimes friendly sometime flirty. But I always knew that I had a issue he will take care of me and laugh me. He accepted that he likes me but he ‘s kinda fuckboy but he’s always been nice and kind to me for 2 years. so that day he text me “you know I never have a relationship because I always get bored of girls but I never get bored of you since I knew you.Youre too special to me. and be mine bla bla. I shocked and told him that we have to talk these face to face he said okay and we met and he never mention that so do ı. and after that meeting he never called for 1 month. I missed him like crazy . seriously crazy. I couldnt spent any minute to not thinking about him. we never talked.. After that 1 month, I got really drunk and text him youre so son of a bitch bla bla I talked very rude and he called me we talked for last time.. and its been 5 days after that. I want him to call me. But I told him that Im deleting him on everywhere and I deleted him on snap and instagram. he did too. But Im missing him like crazy. Shoul I call him and say that Im sorry ? or hold myself more? I am really desperate. I miss him a lot. we were so closed and now we’re fall apart. Idk what he thinks or is he missing me? SHOULD I CALL HİM? or this would be a mistake?? he s so variant. and psycho as me.. but reckless.. he doesnt know that I have that much crush on him. please help me and save me from this overthinking and complexity.. thanks for now. :/

    • He shared his thoughts and feelings with you. You decided to tell him that you no longer want to maintain a relationship with him. You informed him that you were deleting him. He chose to do the same and delete you. Unfortunately, you likely seriously damaged this relationship. The only option for salvage this relationship is to speak with him and attempt to meet him in person to clear up your concerns. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship at this time. Have a great day, Paula!

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