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How to Make Him Miss You After a Fight

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You had a fight, and you aren’t talking. If it was a bad enough fight, you may have even broken up or decided to take a break from the relationship. Now that you have had time to think about things, you realize that the argument did not really matter. You miss being with him, and you just wish that you could go back to the hour before the fight and keep it from happening.

For days, you have been depressed. It seems like he has completely gotten over you and moved on. He does not seem to care about the fight or the problem in your relationship nearly as much as you do. You want him to miss you as much as you miss him. Now, the question is how you will go about doing that.

Before you go to extreme measures, try to reach out and talk to him first. The best relationships are based on communication, and you may be able to get over the fight by talking through the problem. Be careful when you do this though. If you just reopen the same argument, it could make things worse. You both have to be willing to put your differences behind if you want to move on from the fight. If just talking to him won’t work, try the other ideas in this list.

1. Keep It Casual

You miss him greatly and just want to move on. Be careful though. If he realizes that you miss him too much, then he may take you for granted and feel like you will always come back to him. If you go overboard in trying to reach out to him, it can also come across as needy and clingy. While you want to know how he is doing since the fight, you don’t want to overdo it. He needs to think about whether he has made the right decision in moving on. If you bombard him with messages, he will not have time to realize his mistake and reconsider his decision.

2. Cut Off (Most) Communication

One of the biggest traps to watch out for is in communication. In MRI studies, the brain actually looks like it is mentally ill after a break up. Because of this, you are basically temporarily insane after a break up. This can lead you to do things you would never normally do like texting, calling and emailing your boyfriend constantly.

Constant texts are a problem for many reasons. The first issue is that it will make you seem clingy and needy. It can drive him away from you by reminding him of everything that he does not want in a relationship. In addition, the first person to reach out after a fight often has the least power in solving the argument. It shows that you are willing to do anything to solve the problem, which can be an issue.

Obviously, you do want to be open to communication if you want to solve your problems and move on. At the same time, there is a careful balance. You do not want him to take you for granted or view you as someone who is always at his beck and call. If he reaches out, talk to him. Otherwise, give him a little space so that he actually has time to miss you. He can only miss you if you aren’t there. If you are bombarding with texts, he will never miss you and may start to wish that you would just go away.

3. Focus on Yourself

This argument could be an opportunity. You have a chance at this moment to learn more about yourself and what you want. When the relationship starts up again, you can be a better person. When you are single, you have a chance to explore interests that you never had time for before. You can reconnect to yourself, learn from your mistakes and be a more awesome version of you.

The good news about this approach is that it will keep you busy. You won’t be as focused on him, so it will make it easier to give him time to miss you. Plus, he will now be missing someone who is even more amazing. He will hear about your new hobbies or your after work language class and realize that you were too good for him. Each new talent or hobby that you pick up is a reminder of the relationship that he is missing out on.

4. Avoid Being Cold

When someone hurts you, your first response is to shut down. It is natural to want to prevent yourself from being hurt again. Unfortunately, this can make it even harder to get back together. You may feel bitter, hurt or depressed about the way the relationship ended. When you get in touch with him again, some of this hurt may make you sound cold.

In some cases, you may even try to sound intentionally cold. You do not want to seem too eager or excited to talk to him, so you unintentionally seem cold or bitter. You have to be extremely careful about how you talk to him. Treat him like you would a friend or co-worker. He is someone you want to talk to, but not someone that you sound eager or overly excited to hear from.

If you are unintentionally cold, it can drive him away from you. He will think that you no longer care and move on. Instead, you have to find the careful balance between not being too cold and not being too eager. Treat him like you would a friend and be slightly aloof. Get him talking and listen to what he says. He has a reason for getting in touch with you again, so give him a chance to make that move before you decide how to respond.

While you can learn how to make him miss you after a fight, it won’t always be easy. Sometimes, the relationship was just meant to end. You have to take care of your own heart and focus on yourself. If the relationship was meant to be, you will end up together again later on.

67 COMMENTS

  1. My boyfriend and I have not been reaching out,I tried calling him but he sounds cold and seems like he doesn’t want to hear from me. What should I do?

    • He may no longer be interested in maintaining a relationship. He may be busy or going through a stressful situation. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. If he is rude to you or ignores you, then you are aware of his feelings. Have a great day, Felix!

    • I sure you need never communicate with him. Man the one who have to contact his woman and if he feel woman can do it. He will just lost interest easy. Leave him start do your life’s by your own and what is for you will be back without any of your try. Just try stop think of him

      • Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. We always appreciate when members of our community share their insights and experiences. Please share more of your supportive comments in the future. Have a great day, Alsu!

  2. I’ve been the one doing all the calling and checking out on my boyfriend and it feels like though am dating myself,I feel so unloved.Should I stop contacting my boyfriend for this reason?

    • He may no longer be interested in maintaining a relationship. He may be busy or going through a stressful situation. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. If he is rude to you or ignores you, then you are aware of his feelings. Have a great day, Felix!

  3. I had a fight w/ my bf. We have been together for for 10 yrs, not married or engaged either. His excuse for a promise ring when I brought it up a few yrs back was, I did Not know what that was. Even if bought at ross, I would have accepted. And financial difficulties he blames on. Well fought re: Our plan for Saturday.I had agreed to clean investment property that he supposedly wants to sell and buy a home & marry me. The house was rented before & not up kept& I did alot of painting and cleaning. Some repairs were done and I needed time that day to get it nice snd clean to show to a man whom supposedly is interested. My bf was going down there to installa light fixture in the bathrm & I was going to mop all the floors & clean the bathrooms again. He has a history of leaving things for the last minute, I had to beg him the day prior to go and carry the shutters up in the garage & rid some trash from the garage. The moment I walked in the car I acted normal but I was trying to condense to less places to go before going to the vacant property he owns to spend the night cleaning, I ask him in the car what places and things do you need to get? He never planned or managed time, I try and help & then I am told I have the attitude, he even told me He could be doing other things, that I like to start a fight. I was even told that I came with an attitude snd fod not want to go clean it. Like I mention there was plenty to do in that house, I brought a change of clothes and condensed the places we went to, so we would have time to get the house ready for the following day. I was so mad with his attitude I said 10yrs no ring, you lied to me when I met you I expressed that within (4) yrs I wanted to be married and was looking for that type of relationship. You said you were about that. What do I get out of cleaning this you Asshole I called him, if in 20 yrs no ring. And you were not upfront with me, telling me I have high standards, I said. He claims he loves me and is always there for me anytime. Also he did not let me pay for anything that day. I did not like the way I was treated he even told me if I did not like then, like saying then go. I intended on cleaning yhe house I had my hair in a pony tail & wore big hoop earrings & had a pedicure done and even brought cute flip flop wedges (in a bag) and tried to look made up as possible. But his attitude was hurtful when he said that then go, I said yea, then guess what we are over. And thats when I brought up no ting & 10 yrs etc. and that I was not going to go there and clean and fix up the house for what so he can profit out of it and me 10 yrs no ring and he should have done something about that.
    He said its my decision not his to end that he wants to be with me, but also said that behaving like this Thats why I dont have a ring. Obviously he was driving so I had him drop me off and I stayed in my home. How long should I wait for him yo text back. I feel hurt, and I don’t want to break up but, I am usually the one to text 1st after an argument.
    Do you think he will text back or its over? Sorry for the lengthyness
    Also we have no issues w/ cheating. And financial issues have been caused by his mother passing away 3yrs ago & before that his father was very sick & req. surgeries now he is fine.

    • He may not have known what a promise ring is, as not everyone is aware of such things. He is interested in maintaining this relationship with you. He believes that you are attempting to end this relationship. If you want to nourish this relationship, then speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Attempt to spend additional time with him in person. Have a great day, Sonia!

  4. my boyfriend broke up with his ex..bt she keeps coming back nd begging him to date her while am still in a relationship with him…she forces her self more…she visits him almost everyday and its makes me jealous each time i confront him about it he keeps saying the just friends but the do visit in the dark..i dont knw what to do….should i end up or fight back?

    • His ex feels a strong emotional and social connection with your partner. He has chosen to continue to visit her. Determine what you want for your future. Decide if this relationship is viable and if you can trust your partner. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. After than conversation, you should take whatever action you believe is appropriate. Have a great day, Bernice!

  5. My boyfriend said he need time to calm down and think after our fight.I want to have a talk. He said he will call me when he is free . But he never did. What should I do ? Is this a break up ? How do I win him back?

    • He has shared his thoughts and feelings with you. He needs time to determine what he wants for the future of your relationship. You should do the same. Perhaps reach out to him in a few days to share your thoughts and feelings with him. Give him an opportunity to do the same. The two of you can determine what you want for your relationship at that time. Have a great day, Isobel!

      • He called. We agree to reconcile and move on. But he no longer acting the same. He is withdrawn , quiet, withholding affection and not as caring anymore. What should I do ? How to win him back without looking desperate ?

        • The two of you have decided to reconcile. His behaviors have changed. This change in his behaviors has made you feel insecure and uncertain. Determine what you want for your future, and decide how you want to feel in your relationship. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Ensure that he has a chance to share himself with you as well. This discussion will lead you toward an appropriate decision. Have a great day, Isobel!

          • Thanks a lot for your reply. I really appreciate it . I told him about my feelings . He said he was dissappointed in me as in the pqst , he has done a lot for me yet I still felt unloved. Thus caused our fight and now , he said he don’t know what to do anymore. But he wants to reconcile and wants to forgive and forget. I have tried to be extra nice and caring . Yet he still acting aloof . What should I do ?

  6. Anytime we argue and end up fighting even if he’s wrong am still the one who will call him to apologize.. if we fight, he can go three days without speaking to call or checking up on me and even when I call and apologize he’d still take long to accept my apology ..Don’t know if its pride bcoz after the fight and apologies we’d go back to normal

    • If he does not apologize to you, then he does not think that he has done anything wrong. If you feel that he owes you an apology, then determine what you want with this relationship. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Ensure that you do not allow your partner to verbally abuse you. Share your kindness and compassion with everyone in your life. Have a great day, Maria!

  7. Comment:my boyfriend can go days without talking to me after something so stupid,and I will call and message and still apologise even though he’s wrong..I asked him why he did not call me all day and he took it as a big deal and did not reply my messages anymore or call..Then I called him the next day and he was like I shouldn’t apologise to him,then I was expecting him to text me or something but he did not..Only for me to upload a status on Facebook,immediately he saw it was when he messaged,obviously, he remembered me because he saw a post from me..I decided not to reply
    is that the right thing?because my pride and self dignity is being trampled on by him,I need to get that back

    • He has decided that he is no longer interested in speaking with you. This behavior is an indication that he may not respect you. Do not apologize in the future if you have done nothing wrong. This will ensure that he continues to act in an inappropriate manner. Determine what you want for your future. If you want to nourish this relationship, then speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Janet!

  8. I met this guy 2weeks ago and now we are dating.. we already had sex,he’s so romantic but sucks in bed..I asked to send him money for some reasons.. he took it as an insult and now he won’t call or text back.. I’m scared he’ll go I really like him..

    • Give him some space. For some reason, he took it as an insult, but texting him or trying to talk to him a lot right now won’t help. Whatever is going on in his mind, he has to figure it out on his own. There is nothing wrong with giving a date money for something, so he should get over this if you give him space to realize it. If he doesn’t get over it though, then it might be a sign that he really wasn’t boyfriend material. Just give him some space and let him cool off on his own. Good luck, Vee!

  9. I’ve been dating with my bf for almost 2 weeks now.
    Last friday, I told him I was going on vacation the next friday for 10 days with my bestfriend.
    A couple of days later, he asked if I wanted to go on a weekend trip with him the following weekend.
    The problem is, That weekend I was on vacation with my bestfriend.
    He got mad cuz he wanted to go on that trip but I told him a couple of days before that I went on vacation…
    That same day, he was so cold.
    We didn’t talk like before and it hurt so much…
    I saw him the same day to talk about it.
    When we saw each other, he kissed me and after that, we sat down.
    There was a long and awkward silence…
    He asked me if i was going to talk and i said i would.
    He told me he couldn’t see me the next day but maybe the day after.
    I asked him if he was still mad about the trip.
    He told my he wasn’t but cuz of his work he’s tired and he wanted to go on a trip together just to have some for us two cuz he had the money of his work.
    I told him i really wanted to go but my mom already payed my vacation so i couldn’t cancel it…
    And i wouldn’t let my bestfriend down for a last-minute decided trip with him…
    Me and my bestfriend booked this vacation like 3 weeks before…
    Anyways, we talk a little and then he kissed me and we cuddled a little.
    He told me “i love you” before he had to go.
    But, i was scared it was the last time i got to see him cuz i knew he wasn’t happy about it…
    The same night, i bought him his birthday present online.
    The next day, i told him i ordered it.
    His answer was literally “i told you you didn’t have to”.
    And he was pretty cold.
    Did i buy this present for nothing?
    Btw he never told me i didn’t have to buy a present for him…
    I feel like he’s still mad i don’t know what’s going on.
    What i know is that i’m worried to lose him…
    Why is he suddenly mad for the smallest things?
    Why does he give me the feeling like i don’t mean much to him as much as he means to me?
    why do i feel like our relationship is destroyed?
    Doesn’t he love me as much as before?
    How do i get him to miss me after that fight?
    I really need advice for this, cuz i don’t know what to do anymore.
    Thanks already.

    • The discussion that the two of you had caused his feelings to change. There may be other reasons in his life that influenced this change. This may mean that your relationship may also be looking toward an alteration. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. If he ignores you to does not treat you well, then you are aware of his feelings regarding this relationship. Have a great day, Lili!

  10. In my own case, anytime I have an argument with my boyfriend, he always abuse me with my past and wouldn’t even think about my emotions. He always apologize but still repeat same thing another day and he will still compare me with his ex. What should I do

    • Your partner has chosen to abuse you. His continual reactions are signs of different problems that are his own. His thoughts about his ex are likely causing him to behave in this manner. He may still have an emotional connection with his ex. Determine what kind of relationship that you want to nourish. Decide what you want for your future. Speak with your partner about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Kee!

  11. I recently brought up an issue with my long distance relationship boyfriend about him not getting butterflies when he thinks of me and i though he is not in love like he says . This is after me asking if it true a guy can know you are the one after few minutes of dating a girl and he said he cant recall the last time he felt that way. I felt disappointed and told him that my version of love is to make a guy get butterflies and be afraid to loose me when he thinks of me. So if i dont make him feel that way then am not the one for him. He went silent since that. I kind of miss him and i dont what to do. Should i move on?

    • Each person has a different feeling of love. Not all people feel butterflies in their stomach. You told him that he did not love you based on your personal expectations of feelings of love. This likely caused him to feel as though you did not love him, as that would be a reasonable things to think. Your comment is an indication that you are no longer interested in nourishing a relationship with him. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Liz!

  12. Me and my bf recently had a fight over something minor but is a constant problem that arises. He tried to apologise, made me breakfast but I was so angry and didn’t let it go. Half the day went by and I was still ignoring him and moaning at him. Then he just snapped and screamed at me, told him to get out of his house and that he didn’t want to be around me. It’s now two days since the argument and he still hasn’t spoken to me or anything. He’s basically ignoring my existence. We’ve been together nearly 5 years, I live at his house and we were in talks of buying a house together. I’ve tried to get him to talk, apologised multiple times, bought him chocolate, all for him to chuck back in my face and say he didn’t want them or to be around me. What should I do? Are you going to break up?

    • The two of you seem to have numerous arguments and he has chosen to not speak with you. This relationship may no longer be viable. You have attempted to address this problem, and he chose to respond with anger. Determine what you want for your future, and decide what type of relationship you want to nourish. Have a great day, Jessica!

  13. I dated my x for 8months….in between d 8months he broke up with me claiming I was a nag even though I knew I hardly complained. After four months he came back beging I forgave him…. Claiming my x threatened him.last month he came around ..we stayed together then he left… After he left I called we spoke…. D next day I kept calling he never picked… On Monday he sent me a breakup text… Claiming my x is threatening him…. On hearing this… I wadsap my x and he said he haven’t even seen him over 3months that he was just recovering…. My x just lied… I moved on.. On the 5th of November… He was to resume a new job at ecowas… I sent him a prayer text… He read it and blocked me… What do I do?

    • He has blocked you. He has chosen to end your relationship. He is no longer wiling or able to nourish a relationship with you at this time. Determine what you you want for your future without him. Continue to share your kindness and compassion with everyone in your life. If he reaches out to you in the future, then share your thoughts and feelings with him at that time. Have a great day, Winifred!

  14. We were all lovey-dovey for the past 4 months. Then two weeks ago we had a pregnancy scare. (I am not prego!!) he freaked out and got insomnia. We talked and he told me he didn’t really feel a true connection with me. He was trying to be a great boyfriend and could not with me. I felt so blindsided cos he acknowledged we were in a relationship. He said also though that we could either move forward to find the connection or scale back. By the time of him saying that I was already so upset, and I said we shouldn’t contact each other. He agreed and we just left it there.
    Makes so sad… have not had any contact for a whole week. No one reached out to the other. I drafted an email not sure if I should send it. Shouldn’t he be the one reaching out first? He is the one who said those hurtful things and made me break up w him. Should I wait some more? Or just cut tie?

    • The two of you have made a decision to end this relationship. His realization caused him to understand that he could not maintain a relationship with you at this time. His behaviors informed you that he could not give you the stability that you need. Determine what you want for your future without him, and ensure that your share your positive energy with everyone who is in your life. Have a great day, Abby!

        • Thank you for sharing your insights and experiences. Please share more of your thoughts and feelings in the future. Have a great day, Abby!

          • still struggle with this.. want to reach out and tell my feelings. Part of me still wants to get back with him. I just heard him out w/o expressing my own thoughts in our last call… cos I was so shocked and hurt! I miss him so much? argh! it’s been 12 days of complete silence… I want closure 🙁 What to do?

          • He has not spoken to you in twelve days. This relationship has ended. You can determine what you want to do for your future. If you want to, then speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. However, you will find benefit in allowing thoughts of him to fade. Determine what you want for your future without him. Have a great day, Abby!

  15. Thank you this is really what I need to hear. I just Need to stick to my gun and knowing this is indeed over!! Bottom line is he hurts me and if he is not reaching out at all it just says that this is not meant to be. Reaching out to him will not help and only lose my dignity. Thanks again for your speedy response. you have no idea how much this helps me!

    • Thank you for sharing your supportive comment. Please share more of your insights and experiences in the future. It is certain that your comments will help other members of our community in the future. Have a great day, Abby!

  16. Thank you this is really what I need to hear. I just Need to stick to my gun and knowing this is indeed over!! Bottom line is he hurts me and if he is not reaching out at all it just says that this is not meant to be. Reaching out to him will not help and only lose my dignity. Thanks again for your speedy response. It helps me!

    • Thank you for sharing your supportive comment. Please share more of your insights and experiences in the future. It is certain that your comments will help other members of our community in the future. Have a great day, Abby!

      • I’m back, with an update. Well, on Thanksgiving he finally reached out after 3 weeks of complete silence. He texted me with a pic of him wearing something I bought for him, and wished me Happy Thanksgiving. Not sure what he was really thinking…if he wants to talk to me he needs to say more than that, right? I thought his text was pretty lame so I replied “Thanks, and the same to you”. That’s it. Nothing from him since then so I’m continuing my no contact and moving on.

        • He reached out to you. You responded with a short message. He likely took that as a sign to not continue the conversation. You have decided to move on from this relationship. That is a perfectly reasonable and acceptable decision. Allow thoughts of him to fade. Focus your emotional energy elsewhere. Have a great day, Abby!

  17. Hello, my case is so confusing I really don’t know what to do, we dated already for 10months and I left him not up to a month he texted me with a picture with a girl n himself and when I asked who she was he said she was the cousin and later on he called about a week later and told me the girl is his new girlfriend and he doesn’t need me in his life anymore,i was shocked the girl took the phone from him and started abusing me, he even asked me to return a phone he got me and since then I’ve not cried for this break up,i still ask myself why but my friends were just saying I’m still in shock, but what I don’t understand is how he could have changed suddenly,we both loved each other him in particular to the extent he fights for me and carried me like an egg, I never felt that genuine sweet love before he made me part of his life he introduced me to everything related to him including his mum, he loved me so much,i even helped him stop his taking of drug habits but now I heard he’s gone back, I really miss him, after we broke up I sent his mum a birthday cake and when he texted me to thank me I said welcome and he asked if we could just be cool I didn’t reply that he then asked when I was coming back I told him I’d hit him up once am back, and I included it would be best if we stop talking to each other and that was my anger talk, he only texts me now to ask when I’m coming back to school to return his phones, I don’t know what to do,i really really love him, and still not convinced he’s going to just cheat on me after because of a girl with bigger butt than mine 😒I don’t know what went wrong In my relationship,😥😥I really miss my love please help

    • Your relationship has ended. Your ex has shown you that he is not willing to treat you with respect. Allow this relationship to fade. Determine what you want for your future without him. He has asked you to return the phone, so decide what you feel is appropriate. You will certainly find benefit in blocking him and no longer speaking with him. Have a great day, Melly!

  18. well, I had a special someone, I dont know what we were , not a couple ofc and not a friend ofc( I think we both crush on each other like etc) So we were talkıng on phone everyday and sendıng memes. And we were there for each other on baddays and gooddays. We know each other for 2 years and we were close for 2 years. Sometimes friendly sometime flirty. But I always knew that I had a issue he will take care of me and laugh me. He accepted that he likes me but he ‘s kinda fuckboy but he’s always been nice and kind to me for 2 years. so that day he text me “you know I never have a relationship because I always get bored of girls but I never get bored of you since I knew you.Youre too special to me. and be mine bla bla. I shocked and told him that we have to talk these face to face he said okay and we met and he never mention that so do ı. and after that meeting he never called for 1 month. I missed him like crazy . seriously crazy. I couldnt spent any minute to not thinking about him. we never talked.. After that 1 month, I got really drunk and text him youre so son of a bitch bla bla I talked very rude and he called me we talked for last time.. and its been 5 days after that. I want him to call me. But I told him that Im deleting him on everywhere and I deleted him on snap and instagram. he did too. But Im missing him like crazy. Shoul I call him and say that Im sorry ? or hold myself more? I am really desperate. I miss him a lot. we were so closed and now we’re fall apart. Idk what he thinks or is he missing me? SHOULD I CALL HİM? or this would be a mistake?? he s so variant. and psycho as me.. but reckless.. he doesnt know that I have that much crush on him. please help me and save me from this overthinking and complexity.. thanks for now. :/

    • He shared his thoughts and feelings with you. You decided to tell him that you no longer want to maintain a relationship with him. You informed him that you were deleting him. He chose to do the same and delete you. Unfortunately, you likely seriously damaged this relationship. The only option for salvage this relationship is to speak with him and attempt to meet him in person to clear up your concerns. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship at this time. Have a great day, Paula!

  19. me and my bf had an argument and while i was texting angrily he waited silently seeing all my text and didnt say anything i was more pissed and went to sleep. most of the time he is soo rude.. he laughs at times when i cry, which is like tearing up my whole heart. and this time i am waiting till he text me back and ask me how i am doing..

    • You have said that he laughs when you cry. It is possible that he attempts to make you suffer. This is a sign of an abusive relationship. End this relationship at this time. His behaviors will likely increase and become more dangerous. Focus your emotional energy elsewhere. Strengthen your relationships with your family and friends. Have a great day, Samantha!

  20. Hi, I met a guy on an online dating site. We hit it off and immediately moved to chatting on WhatsApp and calls almost everyday. Due to time difference, I usually stat up late into the early hours of the morning talking to him. We struck chemistry and he was strongly considering flying to me. For almost 3weeks, it has been great. Suddenly in 48 hours everything came crumbling. A day after the last time we spoke, we had an 11pm phone date. I messaged him then, he didn’t respond, I concluded that perhaps he was tired from work but I felt something was off, because usually he’d respond and maybe have a short conversation then say he was tired and we’d talk the next day. When he didn’t respond but read the message, my fear deepened. The next day, by early evening, I sent a message saying that I hope he was ok, cos it was unlike him to read a message and not respond even in his bad days. He immediately responded that everything was ok, work has just been crazy. I sent a happy message “yaaay he’s alive, i was worried for a little bit”, he didn’t read it, even till past midnight, then I called, he didn’t pick. I messaged him, saying that I understood how work could be crazy at times and isolate people from coupled with the distance between us, but I just needed to know one thing and I’m good, if we were still working on a relationship. Then he responded saying that distance could be a problem, he was really sorry. I didn’t know if that was a break up or apology message, so I called him but he still didn’t pick. After two calls, he messaged that he was at his mum’s for dinner and we could talk later. He says it’s nothing serious, work has been crazy. I asked if he’d thought about me the last couple of days and his response was, it’s probably best that we remain friends cos he doesn’t think he’s always going to have time and long distance could be difficult. I reminded him that we talked about the challenges of distance when we first started and asked when he came to this conclusion. The next thing I know, he’s block me and deleted his account from the dating site. I’m still in shock at how and why things took that turn. I remember speaking about things that are a turn off for him, he says when a lady is calling and texting incessantly, but I only sent 2 text in two days. He also told me that he had previously had 2 relationships which didn’t work cos the women couldn’t deal with long distance. So, I’m wondering if he was upset about the fact that another lady is having issues or maybe he though I would want to leave to….I don’t know. Funny thing is, I see he is on imo but I don’t want to contact him yet. It’s been 2 days since this happened. What would be your advice?

    • He had explained to you that he was very busy. You continued to message him. He explained that the distance was going to be a problem, and you continued to question him. He explained his position and you did not accept what he was stating. Because of this, he decided to block you. This relationship has ended. Allow thoughts of him to fade. Determine what you want for your future without him. Have a great day, Pamela!

  21. My Bf and I Had a Fight On Monday night, I insulted saying he is been Stingy, the next Morning I tired to apologize to Him, He was acting Funny and he said we need a break. that no woman has ever insulted him before that I don’t have manners.
    what do I do to to make he love me back
    cause I don’t what loose him

    • You insulted him. He explained that he had not been insulted and his feelings regarding your lack of manners. He has informed you that the relationship has ended. Allow this experience to guide your future actions. Ensure that you apply this knowledge to your relationships. Focus your emotional energy elsewhere. Share your kindness and compassion with everyone in your life. Have a great day, Precious!

  22. My boyfriend is always getting angry I don’t no wat to to do to please him I love him so much he came to my house to take me to his house but my mom refused he just left without even saying goodbye n he didn’t answer me when I talked to him could he b angry ? am I at fault ?

    • You are definitely not at fault. If he is angry at anyone, it should be at your mom and not you. If he is actually angry at you for not going with him, he is clearly in the wrong because there was nothing you could do about it. If he normally gets angry about things like this that are not your fault at all, maybe he isn’t the best person to be in a relationship with at the moment. He might need to mature a bit more and gain more control of his emotions before he can really be a good partner. Good luck, Jenny!

  23. Hi, I started the fight with my boyfriend yesterday in the afternoon by message and he didn’t call me in the night as always. Is the first time we didn’t talk in the night and tonight I was waiting for his call and he didn’t call me. What should I do?

    Thanks

    • He did not call you, and this is likely because of the fight. He may have decided that he needed time to himself. Determine what you want for this relationship. You may want to reach out to him. This will give the two of you an opportunity to speak about your mutual thoughts and feelings. You may nourish this relationship by spending additional time with him in person. Have a great day, Vero!

  24. hi it been two months now me and my man fought,before our fight as never reached 24 before we settle.i just cover he is not me his time as before so i login his facebook and discovered he is dating like 15 girls in just last year december,i was suck and have sleepless night about,all his siblings n friends still us back .i dnt know what to do cause i still love and even wished me best of luck in my examination i started today

    • It sounds as though you are uncertain as to whether or not he is faithful to you. The two of you have gotten into an argument as well. You should take this time to determine what you want for your future. Decide what type of relationship you want to nourish. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Morennkg!

  25. I and my fiancée have been dating for 2yr plus he propose last year October before then I went to visit him in his country were he live because it’s a long distance relationship when I was with him and his family because his granny was celebrating her birthday a girl sent me series of messages on my Instagram dm insulting me that I should leave him alone that because she hasn’t come for me since the first time i visited that I feel I have gotten him and that he will never marry me,that was what the girl said.. I was very angry I asked him he said she might be a haters that just want to ruin our relationship after much argument we settled…so since then I was always going to the girls page to really know who she was. I find out that most of her video on Instagram I hear my fiancé voice but she don’t show her face or his face that was before she insulted me..so my fiancée ask me to block the girl which I did but at some point I unblocked her because I really want to know who she is.. after onblocking her I noticed she uploaded a video of her and my fiancé but my fiancé was telling her to stop the video both of them were arguing on the video dont up to 30min she deleted the video after seeing it I was mad I called my fiancé we quarrel thinking he was with her but he was on his way to my country to propose to me so I had to apologize because I found out he wanted to surprise me and the video was not a resent video so we settled after the engagement we went to see my parent and we are about fixing date for our wedding he traveled Back.. then I noticed she commented on my fiancé picture on Instagram saying my man and all sort of things so I told my fiancé that if people who knows we are engaged see such comment how will they feel or look at me so he blocked her.. recently I was on my fiancé Facebook when I saw a girl commented on his post saying baby so I asked him who she was he explained that the girl was a girl from his past but I did not accept the next thing he ended the call and block me from all his social media account leaving just whatapp then went ahead and unblocked that girl that insulted me on my dm… we quarreled then settle but he refused to unblock me he said he will when he want to but not now so last week friday I went to the girl that insulted me page and notice that my boyfriend commented on her recent picture.. I was very angry because I felt that he blocked me in other for him to unblock the girl so we had a heated quarrel which I told him I feel bad and heartbreaking and his reply was that if I continue snooping around I will always feel bad not even considering my feeling or looking for a common ground he told me bye and ended the conversation. It’s been a week now we have not spoken to each other and I’m here thinking of what I will tell my parent and my friends that are aware of our engagement I feel tempted to call him but I don’t want to because lately I have been the one apologizing after we have same issue about this particular girl .. please advice me on what to do.sorry for the long essay

    • The behaviors of your partner were entirely unacceptable. It is clear that he is not willing to treat you with respect. He has decided to block you, and he is continuing to speak with this other person. Do not attempt to nourish this relationship. Determine what you want for your future without him. Share your kindness and compassion with everyone in your life, as this will help draw positive people and energy into your life. Have a great day, Mary!

  26. My boyfriend’s brother died about a month ago. Because of this he’s really been moody which is understandable so whenever we get into small arguments I let it go because I know he is in mourning. Last night we were having drinks and I he said some horrible things to me while he was drunk. It felt like he was trying to make me upset on purpose and trying to start a fight. We fought some more in the uber ride home because he ended up giving directions to the uber guy when he had told me that I was supposed to do it. When we get to his house he’s now yelling about the fact that I’m not considering his pain and thinking that my feelings are more important. Pretty much he’s all over the place and I don’t even understand why he’s angry besides that he’s drunk and mourning his brother. I decide to call an uber to go home because the fight has me in tears and he’s getting annoyed by my tears. When he realised I’m going home he told me to pack up all my stuff and take it home with me. My heart broke even more and on my way home I sent him a text of how heart broken I was and what he did so that the next day he would know in case he was too drunk to remember. He never replied my text and we haven’t talked in a full day. Should I let him reach out to me first? Or because he is mourning his brother and was drunk do I reach out

    • He has decided to treat you poorly. He may be in pain, but his behavior is not appropriate. It is possible that he felt that his mourning period was a time to release his anger on those he cared about most. You may attempt to reach out to him again, but you might receive no response or a response written in anger. Determine what you want for your future. Make a decision about which behaviors are appropriate in your relationship. Have a great day, Ashley!

  27. I’m torn between living here with my boyfriend or moving 12 hours away with my family.

    I love him, and I think he loves me. We have been together for three years, almost four, but it hasn’t been easy. We still don’t live together because he doesn’t trust in me financially so until I can ‘prove’ to be responsible with money, I am stuck living with another dude as a housemate and he lives an hour away with his brother.

    We met at work so we used to spend countless hours together, which was nice. Now we barely see each other after a week – which I feel is unfair after three years. My parents left in December 2017, I decided to stay and give me and him a chance of living together but that fell through when he apparently realised how financially unstable I am. I get it, I’m not responsible enough, but I just finished studying full time, got my degree and have been working part-time waitressing, standard of living isn’t cheap in London. I am not acquiring him to pay my rent, but maybe give me a hand for the first month? Am I really selfish to ask that from a boyfriend? He has thousands in his savings, so I don’t know how he can be so stingy to someone he loves? I don’t ask him for expensive presents or expensive meals.

    I recently caught pictures of him webcamming a naked girl a year before we met and after all the stuff we had been through this was definitely one of the worse. He never cheated on me, which I still hope to believe, but he likes to look a lot on Instagram. Sometimes even compare me to them… Since i found those pictures, I feel completely different.

    Should I really be staying here, although it’s my home of 15 years, I have no family here, all I know are some friends who don’t have the time for me, happily in their own relationships, and him. My cat recently passed away and I lost my job on Friday, too.

    Is the universe just giving me all the signs to leave him? It’s so difficult because I genuinely love him.. 🙁

    • Let’s do a quick thought experiment. Imagine that he isn’t a part of your life right now and you live in some parallel universe. Now, would you still live in London? Is this where you want to be or would you move home? See how you feel about the decision without even thinking of him as a part of it. Then, add him back into the equation. As far as your boyfriend goes, I think your expectations are pretty fair. You should definitely pay your own way, but having a helping hand for the first month seems like a pretty fair thing for a boyfriend of three+ years to do. I can’t tell you what is going on with the Instagram pictures, but the living situation definitely seems odd. If you lived together, he would definitely save money on rent on all of the months you do pay. Also, you’ve been together for three years and he hasn’t tried to make it that you live closer than an hour away? Despite the fact that you stayed with him after your family moved far away? It doesn’t sound like he has really committed to the relationship or really plans on it being a forever thing–if he does plan on staying with you over the long run, he should start acting like it by seeing you more and at least reconsidering the idea of living together. What you do next is entirely up to you. If you have absolutely no other reason why you want to keep living there, then it might be time to start planning your next move.

  28. Hii
    I am akansha i was in relationship with a guy but due to our family fights we broke up but we are still friends everytime he say that we will stay friends till our marriage but he is not sure about marriage he said that we have so many complications in a our relationship if it is keep on going like this then we will end up this relationship I don’t know what to do now i love him so much i can’t live without but i also want him to miss me call me every day and feel insecure about losing me please help me

    • The two of you broke up and are no longer maintaining a romantic relationship. Determine what is viable and appropriate for the future of this relationship. You may decide to speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Speak with your family about your thoughts and feelings as well, as they will be able to give you insights into their needs and desires. Have a great day, Akansha!

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