No one wants to have to reject someone. The thought of having to do it can be terrifying. You may not even be able to bring yourself to do it alone. Letting another person down and feeling their disappointment is one of the hardest things that you can do. It can be a sticky situation that causes stress for both you and him at the same time.
But here’s the good news: It’s not that difficult if you have the right steps to follow. Luckily for you we have compiled a list of the best things you can do when you are rejecting a guy and they all guarantee you will let him down in the kindest way you possibly can!
Don’t Wait To Let Him Know
The last thing that you want to do is avoid telling him how you feel. The longer that you wait to make your feelings clear, the harder he is going to take it. You may not care about this person that much, but try to remember that he still has feelings and he probably really liked you. You might think that you are protecting him by not answering him when he asks you out, but you are doing the opposite. You are going to make him feel anxious and even more heartbroken when you finally give him the news. When it comes to rejecting someone it’s best to treat the whole ordeal as you would treat a band aid- Rip it off quickly, it hurts much less that way.
Although you may be taken aback by his proposal, it’s important to remember what your mama taught you: Mind your manners. The last thing you want to do is react negatively and, not only destroy his self esteem, but destroy whatever friendship you had prior. You do not want to make him seem like he is being full on rejected. Instead you want to make him feel as if he is gently being let down. This ensures there will be no horrible memories of you being cruel to him and also leaves an opening for you two to remain friends in the future. This also makes sure there will be no resentment building up between you both.
In this situation honesty is the best policy. You may find that you have the urge to tell a tall tale about how you have some prince charming waiting for you and that’s why you are not interested in dating him. However, being straightforward is recommended. Lying always seems to come back to bite you in the bum.
Be honest. If you are not in a place in your life where you can date him, let him know.
If he isn’t your type, just let him know.
He might be a little hurt by it, but he will appreciate your honest answer. It will reflect well on your personality and make it appear as if you are the bigger person.
The only time that it would be okay to lie is if the guy who asked you out starts becoming too persistent or aggressive towards you. Then you might want to think about telling him that you have a big, bad boyfriend somewhere.
Of course he will be upset that you are doing this, but sometimes it’s necessary if you don’t want to lose the relationship you already have with someone.
Tell them something like, “You are such a sweet guy and I appreciate your interest in me, but I think we are just too good of friends to date.”
That way he hears from you that nothing’s wrong with him, but you just like the two of you better as friends.
You may want to keep in mind that this sometimes can be a tricky road.
He might think that staying friends gives him time to get you on board with the idea of being with him. So you may always be fending off his requests if you remain friends.
It’s up to you to decide if the relationship you have as friends is worth all that trouble.
Don’t Leave It Open Ended
You might feel obligated to say something along the lines of, “I’m just not in a good place to be with anyone right now.”
Leaving it open ended is a bad idea, because you are not actually rejecting him. You are making it seem as if he might have a chance in the future. He might assume you mean the near future. This will make it hard for him to let go of the idea of being with you. Trust us, he’ll try again someday! If you want to avoid getting asked by him a second time, do yourself a favor and make it apparent to him what you actually want… Or in this case, what you don’t want.
Don’t Do It In Person
Yes, this is one of those rare situations where it’s better to do this digitally than it would be face to face. He might take it a bit easier that way and it also eases a lot of stress for you.
This also helps ensure that he can’t cause a scene or make you feel bad for rejecting him in the first place.
Overreacting won’t get you anywhere in any case. Acting shocked or dramatic towards him for asking you out only makes you appear rude to him.
He may get upset at your refusal and may even go for revenge or try to hurt you in some way.
The best thing you can do is stay calm and collected no matter what he chooses to do.
You also don’t want to come off as a major brat and make him feel really bad for asking you.
Be Nice When You Say It
Let him down gently by saying something nice about him.
Instead of telling him he’s not a match for you say things like:
“You’re an awesome guy, but I just don’t see us as a match.”
“Thanks for buying dinner, but I’m not looking for a relationship.”
“You’re going to make someone really happy, but that person isn’t me! I’m pretty happy by myself.”
If you do end up remaining friends, it’s very important to set up boundaries from there on out. Let him know that you are dead serious about not getting romantically involved with him. You can tell him that if he continues to persist you will cut off contact with him. As much as you treasure your friendship, it’s not worth getting harassed. He needs to know that so that it doesn’t happen in the future. Be kind when you are setting boundaries with him. He will more than likely understand where you are coming from if you tell it nicely to him.
However, if you come off as rude, it might make him feel upset towards you.
Stop Doing Things One On One
You may think that you can continue to spend alone time with him after the rejection. We suggest not doing that at all. Only spend time with him when you are around other people. Doing things by yourselves might make him think that he still has an opportunity to change your mind. Going out to dinner, seeing movies, etc. These are all date like things and are probably what caused him to develop feelings for you in the first place. Continuing to do these types of activities might only hurt him in the long run, because he feels you two are close to being together, yet you won’t commit to him. Don’t give him any false ideas or get his hopes up after you reject him. It’s just not polite.
Ignore Him After
This only pertains to you if you decide to not remain friends after you reject him. It feels as if you are being mean to him by no longer responding to him, but the best thing that you can do for the both of you is end all communication between you. Although he might feel salty about it, he might end up feeling saltier if you tease him and lead him on.
Eventually he should get tired of trying to talk with you and he should stop bothering you. This isn’t always the case. Sometimes guys can be repetitive until they get a response. Don’t cave in. Refuse to reply to him. Otherwise he may never get the picture that you simply are not interested!
Once you have finally followed all these steps it is more than time to move on with your life. Stop worrying about this one guy and stop worry about rejecting him any longer. Once these suggestions are complete there is really not much more that you can do. If he continues to bother you and keeps asking you out, block his number and move on with your day. Don’t let him get you down!
Good luck, you have got this!