Dating sucks and it sucks because so many men think that women are complicated, it’s not true. I’m not saying we’re easy though. This idea that we’re complicated actually makes things worse. But in reality, many men hit on us on a daily basis, it’s just the way it is, so you can imagine so desensitised to it we are. Can you imagine if a hundred people came up to you and said, hi? After a while, you stop even looking at them, they all end up looking the same to you. This is the problem with online dating. Both women and men encounter so many people on online dating sites that everyone loses their individuality. The ones that stand out are the ones that try a different approach and spark our curiosity. So, if you’re not getting the results you want or you’re new to online dating, you need to read our guide to make your online dating experience successful. Because, you do want success, right? I mean, you don’t have to be looking for marriage, but you do have to have some sort of goal when going into the dating field. So, let’s get this ball rolling, it’s time you learned the tricks of the trade.
Don’t be scared to be honest and self-deprecating
You don’t need to be Casanova with your words, but you need to be real. You probably thought that by being a douchebag you’d get girls, and you probably will. But honesty is actually a huge turn-on for women. Don’t be afraid to makes jokes on your account or tell them that you had a bad day at work. They need to see that you’re human, that you’re a genuine person because at they end of the day, they want to be around someone who they can relax around. Research also shows that men who say “sorry” or “awkward” in their online conversations have a higher success rate at getting a date. Now, don’t overdo it, but be real, be humble.
Ask them questions
This doesn’t mean you have to interview them, but when you’re talking online, you’re trying to see if this person is compatible with you on an intellectual level. So, don’t be afraid to ask her questions, women love being asked questions about themselves. If you just say a statement, she doesn’t have to answer. I mean, how would you reply to a statement? Probably just with a “haha” or “lol.” See? You need to keep the conversation going, so ask questions and let her ask you questions.
Find a common interest
Finding the common interest is the golden ticket for keeping a conversation rolling. If you have something in common with her, you need to use it to your advantage. This will hook her into the conversation and see that you’re worth spending her time on. Similar interests will keep the conversation going and you’ll notice her replies will be fast and more open-minded. If you two don’t have much in common and the conversation is dying fast, it’s okay to move onto someone else. You don’t have to try to knock down a brick wall with your fists, just let it go.
Give me smart compliments
When I mean this, you shouldn’t compliment her looks. Don’t do it, she knows she’s pretty. Plus, if you only comment on her appearance, you’re not showing her that you’re interested in her as a person. You can tell her that she’s “interesting” or “fascinating.” This goes beyond looks and shows her that you’re genuinely interested in her. If you say she’s sexy, cute or hot, well, you’re not much different from the other guys she encounters on a daily basis. So, what makes you think she’d take the time to spend with you?
Go with her flow
This may sound confusing, but it’s not. You should mirror her personality. Now, this doesn’t mean you become someone else. When you’re talking to her and if she’s funny, be funny. If she’s very direct, be direct. Why do this? Well, people like those who are similar to themselves, so, I’m not saying to be her, but mirror her.
Read her profile
You need to read her profile. Why? Because this is going to come in handy when you want to start a conversation with her. If you read her profile and talk about something specific from it, it shows her that you actually pay attention and are genuinely interested. Do not send the same message to every girl, trust me, we know the difference between a copy and paste and something you just wrote. If she’s into films, talk about that. If she loves animals, send her a photo of your dog. You don’t have to come up with some crazy opening line, you just have to use what she gives you – it’ll all be there in her profile.
If you can, make her laugh
This isn’t easy, especially when you actually don’t know her. But if you’re able to use her profile and come up with something funny, then do it. It’s a great way to make her curious. Making her laugh is one of the most successful ways to get a conversation going with a girl. Who wouldn’t want someone to make them laugh? Exactly. If you joke fails, well, just laugh about it and use the “oh, well, that joke failed” line. At least you’re honest which is what women like, so, all hope is not lost.
Use proper English
I don’t mean Old English, I just mean, speak normally. Don’t use “brb”, “gtg”, “lol”, “sup.” You’re not twelve and honestly, the way you write online shows your intelligence. And trust me, women like smart men. When we see a man who uses full words and punctuation, well, we get horny. It’s like seeing a unicorn, so rare. So, take the extra couple seconds and write your words out properly, you’ll see a huge difference in the number of responses you get. Plus, your phone has spell check, so you have no excuse not to write properly.
Don’t start with “hi” or “hey”
You can do better. I mean, some guys get away with saying hi or hello, but they’re lucky. You should always assume you’re not that lucky. Saying hi or hello is for people with no personalities. You have one, don’t be lazy. If you can’t think of anything to say or her profile is completely blank, then say, “Hi, how are you?” That’s much better than just “hi.” At least, it’s a question, so you have a higher chance of getting an actual response and a question back. Stay away from one-word openings, they’ll do you no justice. Remember what I said, read her profile before saying anything!
Don’t write her an essay
No one wants to read an essay, literally no one. When I see them, I avoid even opening the message. Who’s going to read that? When the conversation is rolling, you don’t need to write her paragraphs, keep them short and simple. Remember, nowadays people can’t even sit through a full-length movie, so what makes you think she’s going to read your rant? If you’re wondering how long is too long, well, I would suggest making each message no longer than a tweet – around 140-200 characters. It’s short, you get to the point, and she can easily read it without becoming overwhelmed. Remember, you’re not J.K. Rowling.
Don’t be too direct
If you’re just looking to hookup, you don’t have to tell her in the first opening line. You should tell her what you’re looking for eventually, but it’s best you give the conversation a chance and see if you two are compatible. What you want and what she wants isn’t static, feelings and emotions change minutely. So, don’t be so straightforward and say to her, “I want to fuck you.” Most likely, you won’t get a reply or if you do, it won’t be a nice one. She’s not a piece of meat, she’s a person, so respect her when you’re talking to her.
Stay away from anything sexual
If you’re opening line is “I would fuck the shit out of you,” it’s safe to say, even if she keeps talking to you, you probably won’t fuck her. I’m sorry to break it to you. Yes, her ego will be inflated and she’ll flirt with you, but she’ll never meet up with you. Now, some girls will, but there’s a high chance that she won’t. She knows you see hr as nothing more than a fuck buddy, so she’ll use this to tease you and then give you nothing, which you deserve. She’s not a piece of meat, she’s human! If you start off with a sexual line, you just look like a guy who wants to wet his dick. Which, I’m not saying is bad, especially if that’s the only thing you want to do, but, you’re not going to be successful. There’s honesty and then there’s brutal honesty, this is brutal honesty.
Don’t be pushy
You may think she’s the most beautiful girl in the world and you have to go on a date with her, but you don’t have to tell her that right away. You cannot be pushy. Talk to her first and get to know her. You can even hold off asking her out for a couple days – if the conversation is on a roll you can either let the conversation continue or in the middle of it ask her out. But if I were you, I wouldn’t rush into it so fast. Women like when a man takes charge but we don’t like to feel as if we’re being forced into something. If we’re still talking to you after a couple days, it’s safe to say we’re interested. So, then, feel free to ask her out. If you ask her out too soon and notice her pulling back, then back off. Give her some breathing room and ask again in a couple days. If she doesn’t seem interested, move on.
Don’t bombard her with messages
Dating is a two-way street, my friend. You already know this, but it’s important to remind you. Don’t constantly message her. Firstly, if you’re always messaging, her show her that you’ll do all the work, so she’ll expect you to always make the first move. You don’t want that, you want her to also be interested in talking to you. If you bombard her with messages before she even replies with the first one, she’ll feel like she’s being suffocated. This won’t land you a date, instead, for her, this is a huge red flag. So, if you write her and she doesn’t reply, give her a couple days before writing her again. Girls want a challenge, I hate to say it, we don’t like when things are handed to us, so if you give us everything right away, we’ll walk all over you. So, play it cool.
Move off of the dating site
Your goal is to get yourself chatting with her off of the dating site, preferably via text or Facebook. Now, don’t rush this, but after a while of chatting via the dating site, you could ask her for her Facebook or number. Facebook may be not so direct, so she may be more willing to give you this information. This can be done within the initial conversation, bu you want to wait for a little bit before asking her for this information.
Do you have mutual friends?
If you have mutual friends, then use that as a way to start the conversation. I mean, what else are friends for if not to help you hook up with girls? So, if you know that you two have mutual friends, ask her how she knows your friend. It’s a great way to start a conversation without looking like you want to get in her pants. It’s a non-threatening conversation, so she’ll be able to talk to you without having her guard up. Plus, there’s a higher chance of her meeting you in person since you two have a mutual connection. People trust their friends and their friend’s judgement in others. So, if you have mutual friends, use it to your advantage. You can also try to organise a group hang out, so that way she can meet you without feeling nervous.
Start with a game
Why not start the conversation off with a game? The game can be naughty or super clean, wit’s up to you what you feel will work. Start by asking her a Would You Rather or Fuck Marry Kill game. It’s interactive, gets her thinking and you two can have a good laugh over some of the answers. Plus, she’ll ask you questions and you both will get the conversation flowing through a game. Later on, you two can have a normal conversation, but for now, make the initial encounter light and fun, there shouldn’t be any pressure.
Send her a photo
No, it doesn’t have to be of yourself, naked. You can have your clothes on. Actually, it’s better if you keep your clothes on for now. You can send her a photo of what you’re eating, what you’re doing, where you’re going – or a selfie of you waving. It’s much better than saying hi, plus, maybe she’ll send you a photo back or comment on what you’re doing. See? Bam! Now you have a conversation started. You don’t have to be super creative with an opening line, sometimes, saying nothing is the best way. Let the picture do the talking for you.
Ask her about a current event
There are so many things going on, maybe something happened in your city, ask her about it. You don’t have to be limited to saying hi. Or maybe there’s a music festival coming up and you’re going – ask her if she’s going. See? It’s not that hard to start a conversation. It’s not a threatening opening line and plus, you’ll get to see where her interests lie.
See, you guys think it’s hard to start a conversation with a girl, but it’s not. It’s actually very easy, you just need to know what to do. Use what’s in front of you to start the conversation, whether it be what’s on her profile or what’s happening around you. Use the resources you have and just be yourself. The worst thing is when you try to be someone else, she’ll notice right away and honestly, it’s not a turn-on. So, take a deep breath and remember it’s just online dating, don’t take it so seriously. Instead, enjoy the experience, isn’t that why you’re on there?