Let’s face it- We’ve all been there. We have all had our moments where a crush becomes a full on obsession. Is it healthy? No, not necessarily, but it does happen at least once or twice to the best of us. So don’t feel ashamed at all. It’s going to be okay! Because we are going to help you figure out how to stop obsessing over the guy that’s been flooding your mind for some time now.
Obsession isn’t healthy by any means, but it does happen to us occasionally. We become so infatuated with someone that we might end up going a little over board. Sometimes obsessions can lead us to do totally crazy things. They might even be harmful to other relationships that we have or become harmful to our mental health. That’s why it’s important to watch out for when a subtle crush turns into a full on obsession and put an end to it as soon as you possibly can.
What’s A Crush Vs. What’s An Obsession?
A crush often times can feel like an obsession. We think about a person so much that we don’t have room to think about anything else. So it can be hard to figure out what is healthy and what simply isn’t.
A crush is… A crush is when you like someone. You have feelings for them. You might plan some accidental run ins in the hallway or go on their social media pages to see what they have been up to. These are normal things that we do when we like someone. Does it make you feel a little bit crazy? Sure. But does it mean that you are actually crazy? Not necessarily. It’s normal to be a tiny bit head over heels for the person that you like. Even if they do not know that you like them yet.
An obsession is…. An obsession is when you take things a little bit too far. The thing is that you don’t always realize when you cross the line of infatuation and step over into obsession. However, other people around you will notice. Yes, there is even a point where even your crush will catch on. It’s not easy to hide a full blown obsession from the world. Most of the time it’s pretty obvious, but you may not know it. If your friends or family are concerned, you should really take a step back and evaluate if you are taking things too far. Checking social media once in awhile is okay, but going all out and stalking it every minute of everyday is absolutely unhealthy. Planning accidental run ins in the hallway is one thing, but coordinating that you run into one another at every place (grocery store, gym, etc) is getting a little out of hand. Sabotaging their relationships or doing vindictive things is also a sign of an obsession.
Another thing to keep in mind when you are deciding whether you have a crush or obsession is whether or not your crush knows that you like them. You might just be obsessed if your crush has already come forward and told you that they do not reciprocate your feelings. When you get let down, you should know well enough to let yourself move on. However, if you continue to go after him even after you have been rejected, this might be because you are obsessed with the guy in question.
Why Is Obsessing So Bad?
Like we mentioned earlier in the article, at the beginning, obsession can be extremely bad for your mental health. Obsessing over anything doesn’t give you time to clear your mind or focus on other things that matter in your life. Some people let obsessions interfere with work, school or even their diets. This is not good at any level. Obsession is often aligned with the word addiction and with good reason. Addictions are bad for you, so why wouldn’t an obsession be? Obsessing might also lead you to become emotionally attached to someone, even if they do not feel the same towards you. And if they do feel the same way towards you, your obsession might drive them away. Having respect and love for someone is one thing, but focusing on them too much is more of a burden than it is a healthy thing. Mostly a burden for them in that case, but also a burden for you. You may not feel that way, but it is the plain and simple truth of the matter.
Obsessing, like we said, can also lead you to do crazy things. You might let it go far enough as to become suicidal or ruin your obsessions life! This is no good for anyone. Do not let it go this far! If so, we recommend you see a therapist to help you combat this before it gets worse.
Steps To Stop Obsessing
Now that you have some vital information, you can decide if you need to take the following steps or not.
Get Rid Of The Evidence
Whether you were an item, he was your crush or you were just friends, the first thing that you need to do to ditch this obsession is to get rid of all of the things that remind you of him. That means throwing out the hoodie you stole at the bonfire a few months ago. Or tossing out the cologne you bought because it smells just like him. Get rid of all of the evidence! The stuffed bear he won you at last year’s carnival? We know it might be cute, but it has to go. End of discussion. Cleansing your life of all reminders is one of the only ways to get over this guy. Trust us.
Avoid Social Media
The one thing you can’t do if you are constantly all over his social media? It’s obvious: You can’t get over him! Why is that? Because looking at his Facebook, Instagram or Snapchat constantly will only feed your obsession. Just like you should get rid of all of the physical evidence, it’s best to get rid of the digital evidence. That also means that you should delete any pictures that you have saved of the both of you, just him and also pressing delete on any digital texts or instant messages that you have been holding on to.
Meditation Can’t Hurt
There is one thing that can help you get back your focus and take control of your mind. What is it? Meditating. Meditation is good for you in general, but it’s especially get when you are trying to get your focus of off someone. Meditation helps you take control of your thought process and can help you to get mental discipline. This is a great way to help you combat an obsession that you may have on a guy!
Call Your Friends For Help
Enlisting your friends is a great way to help you get over a guy. What you need is some time spent with the people that you love the most. They will be there always to help you realize that what you are doing is not healthy at all. However, you have to be open to actually hearing what they have to say. Sometimes when we are uber focused on something, it can be hard to be open to listening to what others have to say about it. You must open your ears and keep an open mind. These are the people who want nothing but the best for you. Take what they say with a grain of salt. It might be just what you need to help you get out of this sticky situation.
Don’t Talk To The Person
Forgetting about someone includes not talking to them again. We know that is going to be one of the hardest parts for you. But you have to stay strong! You don’t want them to reel you back in by letting yourself become available to them again. Try to avoid being in the places that you know they will be. Or if you do end up in the same space, leave them alone and avoid having any conversation with them. This will ultimately help you forget about them. Talking to them will only fuel your problem in the end.
Delete Their Information ASAP
One thing that goes hand in hand with avoiding communication with the person that you are obsessed with is deleting all of their contact information. Delete them from your social media, your contacts, etc. Not seeing them pop up in everything that you do on your phone is a good way to slowly forget about them. This makes it difficult for you to stalk their profiles or send them a message. It’s for the best. We promise!
Find Someone Else To Focus On
No, that does not mean that you should trade your obsession of one guy out for another guy. We are definitely not telling you to do such a thing. But it does not hurt to spend time with other guys and test the dating waters. Don’t commit to anyone or let yourself get too infatuated with another guy. However, it’s okay to go out and get your mind off of the guy you have been obsessing over by spending time with other suitors. It might be just what you need to forget about the first guy!
Learn To Love Yourself
We hate to tell you this, but if you are obsessing hardcore over a guy, it might be because you don’t love yourself enough. Spend time alone, get to know who you really are and learn to love everything about yourself. This is a great way to realize that you do not need a man in your life to make you happy. Take yourself on dates and learn to be happy being alone. Love solitude!
Take Up New Activities
A wonderful way to keep your mind busy is to find something else to put your energy into. You can take up a new hobby. Or you can even pour yourself into a current hobby that you have. This is a great thing to do to get over a breakup or an obsession! Keep yourself busy. They do say that idle hands are the devil’s plaything, right? So keep your hands (and mind) occupied with other things.
Make A Cons List
The last step in trying to stop obsessing over a guy is to make a long list of all of the things that you don’t like about him. No one is perfect. He will definitely have a ton of flaws that you can put focus on to. Whatever you do, do not make a pros list. Only list his cons! This will remind you of why it’s okay that you didn’t end up with him in a relationship.