Obsessing over anyone is very unhealthy. Even if the two of you are together, there is no need to be obsessive. But it’s even worse to be hooked on somebody that you are not even with. It is bad for any type of relationship, but what’s even more important to remind yourself of is that it is so bad for you mental health. No one is worth taking up one hundred percent of the space you have in your brain. You need to remember to take care of yourself.
But how do you get over your obsession? What can you do to get this person out of your mind? Read our guide below to help you stop obsessing over someone today.
Come To Terms With Your Obsession
So the first thing that you must do in this situation is come to terms with the fact that you have a problem and accept them. After that you can work from there! Skipping this step will only lead you in a giant circle. Without acceptance, there cannot be change in your behaviors.
Ask Yourself Why
The first thing that you should be doing when you find that you are obviously obsessing over someone is ask yourself why? Why do you choose to waste your time wallowing over someone who is most likely not wallowing over you? There is no reason to let yourself feel down over someone who doesn’t want you the way that you seem to want them. You cannot let someone else, who isn’t you, define your entire life, thought process and personality. It’s important to feel okay being by yourself. Being alone gives us power, confidence and raises our self esteem. Why? Because we learn to rely on ourselves rather than relying on someone else for our happiness.
Ask Yourself If It’s Worth It
We don’t think it’s worth your mental health and happiness to continue to obsess over somebody. However, you are the one that needs to sit down and have a internal talk with yourself. You should ask yourself if it’s worth it or not. Because when it comes down to it, you will know that the right answer is a simple ‘no’. You came to this page because you are obviously looking for help in getting this specific person off of your mind. Most likely because it is affecting your everyday life in one way or another. So, if that is the case, then no, it’s not worth it, is it?
You Deserve Better
Always remember to remind yourself that you deserve better than someone who takes you for granted and doesn’t appreciate the love you gear towards them. Try to convince yourself every minute of the day that you are more deserving of someone who actually wants to be with you. Someone who sees you for you and doesn’t overlook you. If you are obsessing over someone and they are not returning the behavior, you definitely should know that you deserve better.
Things To Help You Stop Obsessing:
Call Up Your Bestie
The one thing that will help you get through all of this, is the support of your closest friends or even just your best friends. They will be able to keep your mind distracted, while also simultaneously letting you know that you are worth more than this. They will have to serve as your rock and redirect your emotions for you. It may be a big task for them, depending on how far you obsession has gone, but if they are a real friend, or friends, they will not have a problem doing so for you.
Give Yourself Time To Move On
Another crucial thing to do in kicking an obsession over someone is giving yourself the time and space you need to help yourself move on. It’s okay to feel sad and lost without this person, but only for awhile. A good week or two is about the average time until you start getting over someone. Even if it trickles on after that, at least it won’t be as strong. Feel free to lock yourself away in your house for awhile or binge on your favorite junk foods! Just give yourself what you need to help you cope until you can get through it.
Cry, Scream, Have A Fit
While you are giving yourself time to move on, you can use this time to let all of your frustrations out. We know that you might be heartbroken. It’s extremely fine and healthy to cry when you are going through situations such as these. Get it all out! Trust us, you will feel so much better once you do.
Go Visit Your Family
There are more people in your life than just your friends. So if you feel like they aren’t sufficing, you can go and visit your family. Taking some time away from your life to spend it with the people that you care about the most is a great way to get over an obsession on someone. Your family will definitely raise your self esteem and make you feel better in the long run. Unless you have a crappy family, then maybe it is a good idea to just stick with hanging out with your closest friends. After all, friends can be family, too.
Go Out and Meet Someone New
Once you have taken the time you need and spent some time with the people that you are closest to, you can consider going out and starting to date again. We are not saying to jump into a serious relationship. However, they do so that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone new… If you know what we mean. Get your mind off of the person that you are obsessing over by letting someone else into your life. Even if it’s just for a little while it will still be a good distraction.
Go On Vacation
Not really feeling like sticking your toe in the dating pool just yet? That is totally okay and definitely normal for what you are going through at this time. Instead you can try to fill up your time with other things. Like taking a vacation. It might be hard to get your mind off of someone when you are doing the same routine as before. So try mixing it up by going on a vacation. When you are on vacation you won’t even have time to think about the person stealing your thoughts! You will be too busy having fun and meeting new people to care! A long vacation might give you the time you need to process the situation and ultimately move on.
Delete All Contact Information
This is definitely a must if you really want to get over someone. Deleting their number is crucial to helping you find peace. If you have their phone number in your phone staring you down everyday, you are always going to feel the urge to want to text or call them. Delete, delete, delete! There is no better way! And if you know their info by heart, try to teach yourself to forget. And, whatever you do, absolutely do not put it back in your phone.
Stay Off Of Social Media
This is especially good advice if you and the person you have an obsession with share a lot of mutual friends. Seeing pictures of them pop up on your feed is only going to make things worse for you. So avoid social media for awhile. At least until you know seeing their face or name won’t send you spiraling back out of control!
Get Rid Of All Of The Evidence
Deleting them out of your life digitally isn’t the only way to go. Collect every memento that reminds you of them in any way and take it all to the dumpster. It might hurt and it’s definitely not going to be easy, but we have faith that you can do it. Once it’s done, you will feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of you.
Find A New Hobby
Distract yourself by picking up a new hobby. Your old ones probably won’t cut it at this point and they may even trigger you to think about the person you are trying to avoid thinking of. There are a lot of different hobbies in the world. Keep trying new ones to keep yourself busy until all this emotion passes.
Try Doing Yoga or Exercising
Fitness is a great way to start feeling good about yourself. You might be feeling super down lately because the person you want doesn’t want you. So getting yourself into exercise or even something as gentle as yoga is a great way to start making you feel better. Fitness combats depression, keeps your mind busy and raises your confidence levels by a ton!
Give Meditation A Shot
One of the best ways to stop thinking about something you don’t want to think of is training your mind to not think at all. Meditation is a great way to do that. It will not only relax you, but it will teach you how to get negativity out of your mind with a simple exercise.
Give Volunteering A Go
Maybe you can’t really do much to help yourself at this time, but volunteering is a great way to help others and keep your mind occupied. You will start focusing on other things and people. That is exactly what you need to help you move on, isn’t it?
Make A List Of Cons Only!
There is no need to make a pros list in this situation. Instead, make a cons only list of the person that you’re obsessing over. This will help you to realize that they are not really worth all of the trouble after all.
Start Therapy If You Feel It Necessary
Lastly, if none of that stuff works for you to help you stop obsessing over someone, you can try going to therapy. Therapist specialize in helping to stop these types of unhealthy behaviors. In the end, they may be just what you need to get you through this terrible time in your life.