It’s never an ideal situation when you and someone else like the same person. It’s an even worse feeling and situation when that someone is your very best friend. Fighting over guys is one of the main reasons girls stop being friends with one another. It happens more often than you think. So, just know that you are not alone in this situation! It might definitely feel like your world is shattering.
‘How could she do this to me?’
Wait a minute, though.
Have you considered that your friend might not know that you like this guy?
Or have you considered that she may not even like him at all?
It’s important to go over all the information before jumping to conclusions.
If you have a feeling your best friend likes your crush, you should first confirm this as true.
How do you do that?
Pay very close attention to your best friend for the next couple of days. Especially when she is around your crush. Have you noticed that she often gravitates towards him when he arrives? When you have a crush on someone you tend to want to be as close to them as possible whenever they are around. She will spend a lot of time next to him when he’s in the same room as her. If she doesn’t like him, she won’t pay attention every time he comes into sight.
Also be on the lookout for any physical interaction between your friend and your crush. Does she subtly touch him? Brush his arm or touch his knee? Brush hair out of his eye? Physical contact is a telltale sign that you like someone. Body language is everything when trying to woo someone. She will not only make contact with him, but she will also exhibit signs of her own body language when talking to him or around him.
Have you seen her twirl her hair flirtatiously when speaking with him? Does she bite her lip during conversation? Drop her knee to the side so that it’s touching him when they are sitting by each other? These are giveaways that she is trying to initiate contact and let him know of her desire for him. When you don’t like someone, you don’t go to extreme lengths to be close with them. You will maintain distance and refrain from doing anything flirty with your body.
Do you notice that your friend is trying to plan a lot of alone time with your crush? If she doesn’t like him, she will not try to spend a lot of alone time with him. The opposite is true if she is crushing on him. She will jump at every opportunity to get him alone.
After you pay attention to see if she does any of the above things mentioned you can decide if she really likes him or not.
What if she does like him for sure?
Then you move on to the next step.
Talk to your best friend. The best route to go here is being totally honest with her. Let her know that you have feelings for this mutual crush. You can tell her that you don’t appreciate her making efforts, especially if she knew that you liked him already!
You don’t want your relationship with your friendship to fail over a guy, do you? Then talk. Talk a lot. Come to a solution with her. Get an idea of how she feels in this situation.
You will both need to decide what to do from there on. Do you want to let one of you continue to pursue him? Or do you both want to call it quits out of respect for your relationship?
There is going to be some jealousy between you for the time being until you resolve the issue. It’s important to clarify to your best friend that you do not want to let this jealousy turn into resentment and ruin your bond.
How long have the two of you been friends vs. how long have you both liked this guy?
If you can not decide who should get the guy, let him go. There will be plenty of other guys for both of you in the future!
But what if you really, really like him? Maybe he’s the one!
Highly unlikely, but you never know.
If that’s the case, you might have to understand that your relationship with your bestie will be rocky from here on out or might altogether fall apart. That’s the chance you take when you move forward knowing she is not happy with you continuing the pursuit.
This might even lead to an all out war and race between you! So be prepared to fight for what you want.
Although it’s not the ideal way to end a situation like this, you should always follow your heart and do what you feel is right!