Everyone wants to feel loved. Sometimes, though, the creeping feeling sneaks up on us: feeling unloved. This can be a terrible feeling and can cause people a lot of distress. After all, nobody wants to feel underappreciated and unloved. This can happen to anyone, but some body may find themselves feeling this more than usual.
It’s highly unlikely that someone goes through their whole life without being loved by someone, whether it be a family member, a friend or a partner. However, even if we’re surrounded by love, we can still feel like we’re unloved. If you find yourself going through your day to day feeling unloved, or wishing that you have someone to love you, there may be reasons that you’re feeling this way.
1. You have depression
Depression can affect how we see things and how we experience reality. Even if you’re surrounded by the most loving and devoted friends and family, depression can still make you feel like you’re entirely alone and unloved. If this feeling is persistent, along with feeling hopeless about everything, there’s a good chance that you’re suffering from depression. Being able to talk with a professional can help you deal with these feelings and make shaking that unloved feeling easier.
2. You have high expectations
Having expectations in love is a good thing. However, sometimes our expectations can be too high, and set everyone else around us up for failure. If you find yourself alone and feeling unloved, it may be that your expectations for the people around you are almost impossible for them to meet. High expectations can also mean that you’re hoping that other people loving you will help that unloved feeling dissipate. However, this might not always be the case. Love is a wonderful thing, but it doesn’t mean all of your problems will be solved.
3. You just had a break-up
The end of a relationship can be an extremely tumultuous time in anyone’s life. If you’re feeling particularly unloved, it may be because you’ve just ended a relationship. This is entirely normal. Many people feel a drop in their mood after the end of a relationship, especially if it was a long term or serious relationship. It may take you a few weeks to start feeling normal again. Just remember that this unloved feeling that you have now won’t last forever. While the love of friends and family can’t quite replace the love of an ex-partner, it’s important to remember that there are still people who love you for who you are.
4. You’re feeling lonely
If you’ve be single for a while, or moved away from home, you may be feeling a loneliness that doesn’t seem to have an end in sight. The desire for romantic love can be overwhelming and leave you feeling lonely. That loneliness can sometimes be mistaken for feeling unloved. The best thing to combat this is to spend time with people that you care about. If you’ve moved to a new city, you can try connecting with your coworkers, or join local organizations that you care about. Once you team up with some new people, you’ll find that the loneliness will start to disappear. And who knows, you may even find that romantic love you’ve been seeking.
5. Your friends are busy
It’s easy to feel unloved when your friends are all busy with their day to day lives. This can leave you feeling that same loneliness. It may feel like your friends just don’t have time for you anymore, especially if your life isn’t as busy or hectic. Try to set up times to get together with your friends so that you can be reminded that they like having you around, and that you’re very loved by them! Just because someone is too busy to see you all the time doesn’t mean that they aren’t invested in your friendship. You can also try to reach out and make new friends with coworkers or by simply going to nearby events and meeting new people. The best thing about friends is that you can never have too many.
6. You’re watching too many romance movies
Love is rarely like the movies, and if you’re feeling that desperate desire to be loved it could be because you’ve become too invested in fictional romances. Your life is rarely going to turn out like the romance movies. You may not accidentally meet your soulmate at a coffee shop. When you become too invested in fictional romances, you can start to forget your real life. This can leave you feeling as if you’re unloved. If you keep focusing on wishing that your life was like the movies, you’ll miss out on the life that’s all around you.
7. You don’t have close friends
Maybe you have one or two people that you enjoy hanging out with, but you may not have someone that you can tell all of your feelings to. An important component of feeling loved is having someone that you can connect with on a spiritual level. This doesn’t always have to be a romantic partner. In fact, it may be a family member or a very close friend. If you don’t have someone that you can share your deepest feelings and secrets with, then you’re going to feel as if there’s something missing. Feeling connected to another person is an important part of feeling loved, and something that all humans crave. If you’re missing that, you may often feel the desire to be loved.
8. You’re spending too much time around people who don’t really care
Perhaps you’ve filled your life with negative people who only want to hang out with you for selfish reasons. Even if you are getting the attention you crave, it may not be the good kind. If all of your energy is going into people who don’t care about you the same way that you do about them, you’re going to be left with that desire to connect. The best thing to do is to cut toxic people out of your life, and try to foster better relationships with people who have proven that they care about you. Once you surround yourself with the right kind of people, the love will come pouring in.
9. You’re jealous
Jealousy is a negative emotion that can eat up whatever positivity that you feel inside. Being jealous over the love that someone else feels is only going to amplify your own feelings of loneliness and the desire to be loved. It can also make it hard for you to see the love that you have all around you from friends and family. Try not to focus on what other people have or you’re going to miss out on all the love that the people around you want to give.
10. You don’t love yourself
This is one of the biggest reasons that people feel unloved. If you’re unable to love yourself, you’re not going to be able to properly receive the love that other people give you. When people don’t love themselves, they’re unable to accept that anyone else could love them either. You may want to do some self-reflection and be honest with yourself about how you feel towards yourself. If you find that you’re not giving your own self the proper love you deserve, you’ll find that you’re going to feel unloved until you do.
Feeling unloved can be a hard thing to deal with. Fortunately, there are reasons that you may feel this way that have nothing to do with actually being unloved. Focus on all the good and positive things in your life, and you’ll see that the people around you really do care more than you may realize. Accepting the love that we get on a day to day basis can sometimes be difficult, but once we learn how, it’ll be worth it.