Maybe you’ve never had a girlfriend or maybe you want to re-enter the dating scene. Whatever your reason is, you’re ready to have a girlfriend. This is great news but I can clearly see that you have no idea how to find a girlfriend. Now, I’m not judging, we’ve all been there, but, you’re fortunate enough to have the internet to help you out. When I was in this phase, I had my mother and my inexperienced friend, so, you’re already in a better position. Having a partner is exciting and it’s always better to be able to share experiences with someone you really like and enjoy being with. Now, it’s time we got down to business and really showed you the tools you need to use when finding a girlfriend.
Why do you want a girlfriend?
Before you go hunting for one, you need to ask yourself why you want one. Is this because all your friends have a girlfriend or is this because you feel that you’re really ready for a relationship. If it’s the latter, then that’s great because relationships take commitment, time and work. So, if you’re not ready to invest yourself into a relationship then perhaps you’re not ready yet. And listen, there’s no rush. If you prefer to hang out with your friends and do things on your own, maybe it’s just not the right time for you which is okay.
What kind of girl are you looking for?
You have to really think about what type of girl you’re looking for. This is different than the type of girl you want to have. Think about the type of girl you need to have. Sure, you could have a girl with fake hair and who listens to pop music all day – there’s nothing wrong with that. However, if you don’t actually like those attributes, then don’t go for someone who is into those things. You need to look at what you value and then look for a type of girl who values the same things as you do. Now, you won’t find a girl who likes everything you do, but that’s not the point. You’re trying to find someone who you’re compatible with and you’ll never find someone who is 100% like you.
Work on your confidence
This isn’t about how you look or what you wear, it’s about how you carry yourself. Many men think confidence is based on what they wear, but it’s not. It’s based on how you carry yourself and how you think of yourself. That is what women are actually attracted to. Now, when you’re looking for a girlfriend, you want to show your best self. That way, you pick someone who likes you for what you feel you are. This means you want to take care of yourself. Eat healthy, dress in a way that makes you feel comfortable and confident, pay attention to hygiene and look put together. If you do this, you’ll feel better about yourself which will show to others.
Where to look for a girlfriend
This is a huge problem for men. You guys all seem to think that they only place to look for a girlfriend is either at a bar or club. Now, I’m not saying you can’t find one there, but you’re really limiting your options if you’re only heading to these two places. There are plenty of girls that don’t go to bars or clubs – what about those girls? You’re leaving them completely out as an option. If you’re only at bars or clubs, you should know that we, women, know why you’re there. We don’t think you’re looking for a relationship while Beyonce is blasting in the background. This is the problem. So, you can still use the club and bar as an option, however, expand the horizons. Try meeting people at class – make sure it’s a class you actually want to take. Try volunteering for something you believe in, you’ll be able to meet so many people in those communities. Go to festivals, concerts, art openings – places where you’ll be able to have casual conversations with people without looking like you’re just trying to get laid.
Know how to flirt
If you meet a girl you like, I know you’re not looking to be her friend. It’s your responsibility to show her that. If you don’t want to be her friend, then flirt with her. Flirting is basically the building up of sexual tension between two people. You’re showing her that you’re interested and if she flirts back, she’s showing you that she’s also interested. To flirt with her, you don’t want to come on too aggressive. Make eye contact, compliment her, but, genuinely try to get to know her. You want her to feel as if she’s the only girl in the room that matters to you. Though, I know you want to get her number, do not make this your goal. If this is all you’re thinking about, you’ll come off as forceful and pushy – two things that will end you up with nothing. Just enjoy talking to her and see where it goes.
Ask her out on a date
If everything is going well, then why not ask her out on a date? Of course, if she gives you her number, you’re already one step closer. Regardless of where you met her, you need to ask her out. If you can do it in person, great. If not, then either call her or text her to ask her out. Make sure you know exactly what the date is, that way you show her you have it planned out, that you’re serious. So, for example, if you want to see her on Saturday, ask her “Would you like to go out on Saturday? There’s this place called ____ that makes amazing drinks.” This sounds much more put together than, “are you doing anything on Saturday?”
Now, if you don’t want to go on a real date, then just ask her out for a coffee or to go on a walk. This is much more casual and relaxed, so, if you’re nervous, this is a better option.
Don’t be someone else
I cannot express this enough. Do not try to pretend you’re someone else, you’re not him, you’re you. So, be yourself. If you’re trying to act like someone else, she’ll figure out who you really are, it’s not that hard. If you’re not good at telling jokes then don’t pretend to be a comedian, you get what I mean. If you and her click then great, if not, try again with another girl.
On the first date
Do not bring up topics such as religion, politics or your ex. This date wasn’t designed for her to listen to your sob story – this is about seeing if there’s a connection between you two, so leave your ex out of it. Also, make sure you listen. If you’re really interested in her, you want to listen to what she has to say. If you can’t seem to pay attention, well, maybe she’s not the right person for you.
After the date
When the date is over, call her and tell her that you had a good time. You could text, but honestly, if you’ve already been on one date, you can pick up the phone, it’s not that hard. You want to make it more personal between you two and texting isn’t bad, but it isn’t great. Plus, if you call her, she’ll be shocked since no one calls anyone anymore. On your follow-up call, tell her you had a great time and see if she’d like to see you again.
Stay away from game playing
Don’t play games if you want to have a genuine relationship. Games aren’t going to work in this case. If you really want a girlfriend you’re going to have to be open and genuine with her. So, don’t try to make her jealous or play hard to get, just be yourself. Games are so high school, so if you’re really serious about having a girlfriend, cut the act. Even if it doesn’t work out between you two, you don’t want to be known as an asshole. She doesn’t need that experience and honestly, you don’t either. Word spreads fast among women, so, just be a nice person.