So you have been ghosted, huh? Dang, we really feel for you girl. That is legit probably one of the worst things to endure when it comes to the dating game. You really liked him, you thought things were going great, the texts were on point… And then WHAM! BAM! Ghosted. And he’s seemingly gone for good. Or so you thought…
Normally when you get ghosted, communication comes to an abrupt end. You don’t hear a peep from him again. Even though you’ve sent him a few texts. Suddenly your messages don’t seem to be going through and you’ve been blocked from all of his social media. Devastating, we know. The best thing you can do in that situation? Forget him and move on.
But what happens if he decides to make a second appearance in your life. You were ghosted, but just as quickly as he disappeared, he reappears as if nothing happens. You get that, “Hey, what’s up?” Text out of nowhere. That sure can be a conundrum. So what are you to do? How do you go about handling this situation? What is the protocol for when a guy who ghosted you texts you again? Well, luckily for you, we know just what to do! Take a peek below.
Read Heavily Into The Message
Which means take your darn time! We know your heart might be beating fast and all you can think about right now is that he’s blessing you with a second chance. But before your fingers start a’typing, take a deep breathe and WAIT! Waiting is good. It’s going to give you time to think logically here. The first step in how to handle a ghosting and reappearing situation is to take time evaluating the message that he sent you.
What did the message say?
If it was a simple, “Hey” or “Hello”, you might want to blow it off for now. Give them time to make more of an effort in what they have to say to you. After all, they did ghost you without notice or reason. Allowing them back into your life without more effort can allow them to think it’s okay to ghost you again in the future and reappear whenever they choose. Because they know that ultimately they will get your forgiveness by easily saying hello again.
Nope. Not how that should work.
Remember The Way You Felt
Remember when they just up and left your life and you were suddenly crying in your pjs watching Bridget Jones whilst eating chocolate bars for three days? Yeah, remember that feeling? Hold onto that. Because when you get ghosted you obviously don’t feel too great about it. Maybe you didn’t go to the extreme as described above. However, you probably didn’t take it too well either. Now consider that feeling and think about whether or not it’s worth it to risk going through it a second time. Instead of just moving on and trying with a new guy that actually didn’t make you feel like poop about yourself.
Just ensure, before moving forward, that you are okay with the fact he might abruptly ditch you again. If you wouldn’t care that much, then we say go for it.
Get An Apology First
This is important. You will want him to acknowledge the fact that he ghosted you. If you decide to respond to his initial message, make sure you tell him how you feel. Even if you risk him not responding. That way you can get an apology out of him.
Don’t you want answers? We would if we were given a chance to talk to our ghosters again! Getting him to tell you why he ghosted you might seem awkward, but it’s the least that he can do after everything that he put you through. And especially if he is asking for a second shot with you.
After he has given you the answers you seek and said his apology, it’s up to you if you thought they were both good enough for you to give him a chance.
Was his excuse weak? Then ditch him. He should have a really good reason for dropping you from his contacts.
Was his apology flat? Demand one that sounds meaningful, so you know he isn’t full of crap!
Make Sure You’re Aware Of The Risk
So you’ve taken time to think of his first message, gotten an apology and a reason. Now what? Well, we say go ahead and schedule a time to hang out with him. BUT first, you want to really, truly make sure that you are prepared for him to ghost you all over again. He will always be labeled as a flight risk, since he has done it once already. These types of people are often either using you or scared of commitment and that doesn’t typically change very quickly. So think carefully about whether you are ready to take this risk. If you are, go ahead and start scheduling! If not, move on, there are plenty of other fish in the sea!