You know what totally sucks? Getting ignored or blown off by the super cute guy you like. Yeah, we’ve been there girl and we know just how crappy that feeling can be. And then after he keeps doing it, you start to find yourself wondering, ‘Is he ghosting me or is he just busy?’ It can absolutely be so difficult to tell the difference. Because he isn’t going to just outright say, “Yeah, I’m ghosting you, I’m out of here.” Guys don’t generally like the confrontation they might have to face by being straightforward like that. So they’ll resort to the ever so awesome art of ghosting the heck out of you. But how can you tell which one he is doing? What if he really is just busy and can’t hang out? It happens more often than we think. Unexpected stuff pops up and keeps us from going about our plans that day. Surely it has even happened to you! But how do you know whether or not he is telling the truth when he suddenly can’t make your date? Luckily, there are subtle things that let us know the difference between busy and disappearing. And we have them listed for you below!
Volume Of Conversation
How often were you talking before versus how often are you talking now? This is huge when it comes to figuring out whether or not you are being ghosted by a guy. You may have been talking a lot previously, never skipping a beat and always having something to say to each other. But now things are faltering. You can’t seem to get a decent conversation out of the guy anymore. This is a definite sign you might get ghosted pretty quick here. When someone likes you, they will make an effort to talk to you whenever they can! They will ensure that the conversation also stays interesting, because they won’t want you to lose interest in them as a person. But if things have slowed down and you’re suddenly receiving nothing but one worded texts or vague responses, this is a negative sign for sure.
Tone And Response Time
You know what is even more important in this situation than the length and volume of your conversations? It’s how the tone of the conversation seems to sway. Does he seem irritated when you ask him for more? Does he sound dull and uninterested when you are talking about yourself? If you said yes, we’re sorry honey, but he might be on his way out of your life for good. He’s slowing things down between the two of you and trying his best to be boring. He most likely thinks that you will start losing interest in him if he continues to act that way. This will make it easier to suddenly ghost you without you giving him any crap about it. Response time is another thing you should be thinking of when you are deciding whether he is ghosting you or just busy. How long was he taking to reply before? And how long is he taking now? Did it go from almost instantly to now taking hours or even a day? If so then yikes. This is a definite sign he is about to ghost the heck out of you. He probably saw your message, but he doesn’t really want to reply. So he’s going to leave it there for as long as he possibly can until he remembers it again.
Typical ghosting behavior.
The Excuses He Gives
Of course, if he has been blowing off your plans, that means that he is giving you some sort of excuse to back him up. What kinds of excuses does he give? Are they vague or complicated? Generally, the more complex the excuse, the more likely it is to be a lie. We love to throw in a lot of details to make things seem more convincing. However, it typically gives it away that we are not being truthful. Also think about when he finally told you he wouldn’t be able to make it to your date or hang out session. Was it right before or did he give you a few days time? It’s more likely that he is ghosting you if he suddenly has something crazy going on an hour before your date. However, if it’s a few days or a week before, he probably is just busy.
Does He Want To Reschedule Or Not?
Whether or not he wants to reschedule your plans is crucial in deciding whether you are being ghosted or not. If he makes no effort to plan for the future, after cancelling your plans, he is most likely trying to ghost you. He was looking for an escape and there’s no way he’s going to put himself in a position to have to escape again! But if he does try to reschedule, there’s a huge chance he really is just busy at the time and not blowing you off.