It might be easier to assume that if she’s constantly busy when you want to hang out that she’s really blowing you off. Also known these days as something called “ghosting”. Ghosting is typically when someone that you’ve been seeing, or talking with, suddenly disappears. They become a total ghost. As in invisible or gone entirely. Which is probably what you are thinking is happening to you right this very minute, correct? Well, don’t get too far ahead of yourself buddy. There is a chance that she’s not ghosting you and that she is actually busy. Life can be full of things that jump out in front of us and utterly screw up our plans on a daily basis. This could be exactly what is happening to her.
However, it can be difficult to tell what’s really going on here. Which is why we thought it might be a good idea to type something up that helps you identify the difference between ghosting and just plain busy. Keep reading to get the clarification that you need!
How Much You Talk
Does she still take time out of the day to talk with you? If you answered yes, there is a good chance she is not ghosting you. Most of the time, ghosting involves not talking with the person you are ditching at all. You will go from talking consistently with each other, to not talking at all. Radio silence will appear on her end. And whoosh! Just like that she’s gone and never to be heard from again. However, if you still hear from her, even if it’s not as much, then it’s okay to assume she hasn’t ghosted you… Yet. If you notice conversations get shorter and topics get lighter, the ghosting might be coming soon. But, be thankful that it hasn’t yet! And there is still time to salvage whatever relationship you have with her.
The Tone Of Conversation
Figuring out the tone of the conversation is important when you decide whether you are being ghosted by her or not. Not only is tone important, but keeping an eye on the depth of the conversation and how fast she responds is also going to be vital. Have you conversations went from deep to suddenly shallow and boring? Does she hit you with the one word responses. And how long is she now taking to get back to you? Have you seen it shift from pretty quickly, to taking hours to reply? All of this indicates she is on her way out the door. She has lost interest and is letting the whole thing fizzle out. She will be vague with you, hoping that you start losing interest in her soon. That way she can make her exit peacefully and without any hard feelings on your end.
Obviously she has been giving you excuse after excuse, because now you have the deep suspicion that you are being ghosted by her. But just because she has something come up, does not mean that she has ghosted you. She might actually have things come up and just be busy. But how are you supposed to tell the difference? Where is the line drawn from believable to unbelievable? It can be a tough one to distinguish, that’s for sure. But we have discovered that the details are the important thing to pay attention to. How much detail is she giving you? Does every excuse come with an overly elaborate background story? We, as humans, tend to create pretty detailed stories when we lie. We think that it makes the stores more believable, but in reality, putting too much effort into it can often be because we are lying. There is a good chance that she is blowing you off when she gives you a too detailed excuse.
And be aware of when she tells you that she has to bail out on your plans. Was it days before? That’s good, that may mean she’s being honest. But if it was a couple hours before the date, that’s a bad sign. She suddenly has to do something overly complicated and she just found out a few hours before? Yeah, highly unlikely.
What really lets you know whether or not she is ghosting you vs. just being too busy is if she makes the effort to reschedule.
So she cancelled on you. That’s no big deal. Things happen that bring us to cancel our plans all of the time. But did she offer to go out a different time after cancelling? Even if it was a day or two later? No? Well, sorry pal but she may be ghosting you. If she was truly just busy, she would want to make a date for a future time. Not just ignore the fact that you had one planned in the first place.