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Is She Playing Hard to Get or Not Interested?


When you are trying to date a girl, it seems like you will never know for sure if she likes you back or not. You have heard that some ladies like to play hard to get, so you are not certain what her behavior actually means. Is she playing hard to get or not interested? The last thing that you want to do is hit on someone who is clearly not interested. The best case scenario is you get embarrassed. In the worst case scenario, you are facing a sexual harassment charge. How can you figure out if she is genuinely interested in you?

Before You Continue Reading

We will cover the ways you can tell if a girl is playing hard to get or if she is not interested in you. Before we dive in, here’s our professional opinion: leave her and forget about her.

Yes, you want to be with her, and you think that she is the one for you. If you are even asking this question, we can just about guarantee that she is not the right lady.

This is for two obvious reasons. Option 1: She is not interested. She is not going to be interested. You might as well move on because she is probably not going to change her mind.

Option 2: She is playing hard to get. Do you really want to be with someone who would manipulate you and play mind games like this? If she is playing hard to get, she is either immature or taking poor dating advice from someone. If she is immature, you have to wait for her to grow up before she could ever be relationship material—or even one-night-stand material. If she is taking bad dating advice, then she hasn’t learned how to think for herself. Whatever the reason for her playing hard to get, you can basically be certain that she is not the girl for you.

Are There Exceptions to This Rule?

There can be exceptions. The main exception is if you are misunderstanding what is going on. She might not be playing hard to get at all. You might be interpreting her shyness or awkwardness as playing hard to get or being not interested.

When someone has a major crush, it can be hard to talk to them. They are worried that talking too much or trying to text all the time will make them seem needy. There is a decent chance that the behavior you interpret as playing hard to get is just her shyness. She might be calling seldomly because she is afraid of seeming clingy or overly eager. She could even be afraid that you are not interested in him.

If this is the case, then you just have to give her time. Let her get more comfortable around you, but don’t be pushy. If you give her time, she will relax and start to show you her feelings.

Is She Playing Hard to Get or Not Interested?

Now that we have explained why you should generally just forget about this girl, we will cover the ways that you can figure out if she is playing hard to get or is just not interested in you.

1. She Has Trouble Holding Your Gaze

You have to be fairly observant to pick up on this sign. If she looks bashful whenever you catch her eye, then she is probably interested in you on some level. This is why she is shy about holding your gaze.

2. She Makes Sure You Notice Her Noticing You

When you walk by, she does not just subtly check you out without you realizing it. Instead, she makes sure to do a double glance so that you know that she noticed you. If she does this, then there is an excellent chance that she wants you to come over and talk to her.

3. She Likes Talking to You

If she likes talking to you, then you can guarantee that she is at least interested in you as a friend. If she just wanted you to go away, she would only politely respond with short answers or find an excuse to leave. If she is interested in you on some level, then she will be excited to talk to you and get a chance to know you better.

4. She Licks Her Lips

Much of our body language occurs subconsciously. Touching your arm, licking her lips or grooming herself are all automatic things that a girl will do when she likes you. She might adjust her hair or her clothes when she is nearby you.

5. She Laughs

If she is not interested, she is going to feel uncomfortable and just want you to go away. If she genuinely laughs at your jokes, then she likes to be around you on some level. The key is the genuineness of her laugh. If her laugh seems forced or awkward, then she might just want you to go away. If it is a genuine giggle or belly laugh, then there is an excellent chance that she likes you.

6. She Gets Uncomfortable If You Flirt With Other Girls

No girl wants to have someone else steal her crush away. If she likes you, she will dislike it when you flirt with someone else. You don’t even have to flirt with someone else for this behavior to come out. If an attractive lady starts to talk to you, you will notice that your crush watches the lady like a hawk or she might slink away. Whatever her reaction, her behavior will change when an attractive woman seems to be interested in you as well.

7. She Touches You

When someone has a crush, they want to be close to them. Without thinking about it, she might touch your shoulder or elbow casually. All of these subtle touches are a sign that she is interested. If she just wanted you to go away, she would avoid touching you completely.

8. She Seems Relaxed Around You

This is not a surefire sign that she is interested, but it is something to note if she shows some of the other signs on this list. If she just wants you to go away and is not interested, she would be uncomfortable to be around you and seem awkward. If she is relaxed, then she definitely likes having you around. She could also be uptight if she likes you and feels shy though, so this sign does not work every time.

What Should You Do?

Only you can decide what to do next. If she is just shy and gradually warming up to you, give her time and get to know her a bit better. If she is playing hard to get, then you have to decide if she is worth it. Deliberately playing hard to get is a sign of immaturity, so you should be wary. The best case scenario is that you are misinterpreting her shyness as playing hard to get. If you date someone who deliberately plays mind games, don’t be surprised when you get a relationship that is more trouble than it is worth.

If you are fairly certain that she is not interested in you, then forget about it and move on. In our society, girls are taught to be polite and kind. If her smiles are forced and she tries to speak to you as little as possible, then she is probably trying not to be a jerk about turning you down. In reality, she would just like you to go away. This is not your fault. Different people like different things, and it is no one’s fault if someone is just not a good match. There are other ladies out there, so move on and find the right person.


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