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12 Funny Jokes to Tell Your Boyfriend

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Humor is one of the best ways to bring people together. A good joke at the right time can break the ice and tear down barriers. If you’re not sure how to deal with silence then learning a joke or two can be a good way to lighten the atmosphere.

Maybe you don’t think you’re a particularly funny person but trust us, if a guy likes you he’ll appreciate your attempt. Love makes every story more interesting and every joke funnier.

These jokes may not help you become a stand-up comedian, but they will get your man giggling.

1. Yahoo!

You: Knock knock
Him: Who’s there?
You: Ya.
Him: Ya who?
You: Aww, I love it when you’re this excited to see me!

2. By the book

Open up a dictionary in front of him and turn to the L section.

You: There’s something wrong with this dictionary.
Him: What is it?
You: They spelled L wrong. It should be L-U-V, because I know I can’t spell love without U!

(You can also use an online dictionary for this joke but it’s just not the same. Even if you have to go out and buy a physical dictionary just to tell this joke, it will be worth it. Seriously, go out and buy a dictionary right now. Do it.)



3. Asking for directions

If your phone has an assistant turn it on, look straight at your boyfriend, and say this to it.

You: Hey Siri/Alexa/Google Assistant/Cortana/Whoever, I need directions. I seem to be lost in my boyfriend’s eyes.

(I just tried this with my phone, and it gave me the address where I’m currently writing this from. So if you are actually lost this joke can also be pretty useful. Just remember to give it time to respond after you say you need directions. Or just say it all together and confuse the poor AI, whatever you feel like in the moment.)

4. Acronym fun

You: I thought up an acronym to describe you.
Him: What is it?
You: ABCDEFGHIJK.
Him: LOL, WTF does that stand for?
You: Amazing, bae, cool, dreamy, encouraging, great, fantasy hunk, intelligent.
Him: What about the JK.
You: Just kidding 😉

This one is a bit tricky. You need to be able to memorize eight words in a row, and your boyfriend needs to be sharp enough to notice you’ve left out the last two letters. Fortunately, if you mess up this joke, it will be just about as entertaining as getting the joke right.

It’s just he’ll be laughing at you rather than at your joke. Still, a laugh is a laugh. Also, this joke is customizable. If you want, you can change up the words to whatever you want as long as they fit the right letters.

 

5. Breakfast in bed

If he’s spending the night with him and you wake up early, you can get up early and start making breakfast. This alone will make him love you more, joke or no joke, but this isn’t going to be just any breakfast.

No, you’re going to cook bacon and eggs. Whether he wakes up to find you cooking or you have to bring it to him while he’s still sleeping there are a few short words you need to say to him when he realizes what you’ve done.



“Egg-scuse me, but you’ve bacon me crazy!”

(Yeah, it’s a long way to go for a silly pun, but this combination of silly and delicious should be appreciated by any man who truly loves you. )

6. Bad for your health

When you see a “no smoking sign” you need to stop and turn to him.

You: I don’t think we can go in here.
Him: Why not?
You: Look at that sign! *point to the no smoking sign* They won’t let you and your smoking hot bod in!

This joke works best if you tell it as you’re headed into a restaurant together for a date, but you can use it anywhere that no smoking signs are found.

To avoid confusion, don’t try and tell this joke to your boyfriend if he is currently smoking a cigarette. Besides, if he is, you shouldn’t make light of the health risks involved in smoking. Every year over 400 thousand people are killed by their smoking habit.

7. With olive my heart

You: Knock knock
Him: Who’s there?
You: Olive.
Him: Olive who?
You: I love you too!

(Remember, this is a play on the fact that “olive who” sounds like “I love you,” so when you say “I love you too” you should say it a bit like “olive you too.” Also, this is a joke you should probably save until after he says “I love you” for real, you don’t want to try and trick him into saying the L-word for the first time. Or maybe you do, we trust your judgment.)

8. Thief!

You: I just called 911!
Him: Why?
You: To report a robbery.
Him: OMG! What happened?
You: I told them you stole my heart.
Him: …
You: They told me that anyone using 911 to request emergency assistance when no actual emergency is occurring will be found guilty of a criminal misdemeanor and liable for a sentence of up to 1,000 dollars and/or a jail sentence of up to 90 days.

(OK, if you want to keep the joke easy to remember and more cute than clever you can leave out the last part. Also, if you really want to sell this joke wait until you see police lights on the road or hear sirens from your house. That will really crack him up!)

9. Your twilight years

You: Knock knock!
Him: Who’s there?
You: Ivant.
Him: Ivant who?
You: I vant to suck your blood!

*Lunge at him and start kissing his neck hard*

(If you can’t tell from writing, you’re supposed to say the last line with a Transylvanian accent, like a vampire from old movies and cartoons. The word Ivant sounds just like the name Ivan with a T at the end because “Ivan who suck your blood” is pretty awkward to say. Still, you can try the traditional approach if you don’t want to give the punchline away. Also, you can really bite his neck if he’s into that sort of thing.)

 

10. The language of love

You: I love you.
Him: I love you too.
You: Well I love you four! That’s twice as much!

(You should probably only tell this joke if you are confident that he’ll say “I love you too,” or else you might be setting yourself up for disappointment. You can also say “I love you three,” if you’re not sure if you actually love him four. I mean, that’s a lot of love.)

11. Breakfast again

If you ever get a chance to buy your boyfriend breakfast, make sure to get a donut. When you come back give it to him and say this:
You: This is my way of saying donut ever leave me.

(Consider making him promise not to leave you. If he doesn’t promise you can eat the donut yourself and show him what he gets for playing with your heart)

12. Kiss and tell

You: I think there’s something wrong with your lips.
Him: What is it?
You: They’re not kissing mine!

(If your man isn’t kissing you when you want him to just bust out this line. I thought we should end on a romantic note.)

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They say life is a roller coaster ride, so I’m here, trying my bit (virtually of course) to make your ride worthwhile. Ups and downs are inevitable, but how you perceive things is what matters.I’m just your next-door neighbor, ripe from experiences of life, here to tell you what it really means to “live”! Take your drink, kick back and relax, we’re just getting started!

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    • Thank you for sharing this. The error has been fixed. Feel free to share more of your thoughts and feelings in the future. Have a great day, Brianne!

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