Let’s face it: no one knows what they’re doing when it comes to kissing for the first time. And what’s worse, no one really seems to know how to give good advice when people are searching for an answer on how to kiss. A lot of people assume that they’ll just figure out how to kiss by practicing.
Except, two teenagers who have no idea what they’re doing tend to just mash their lips together and it’s a little terrible all around. And for those out there who didn’t get their first kiss until well after high school, it can be a little embarrassing to admit you have no idea what you’re doing. Don’t worry. A step by step guide to kissing for beginners is just what everyone needs in their lives – especially those who think they already know what they’re doing!
1. Pre Kiss
Before you start the kiss, you want to start by getting close enough to kiss. This pre-kiss stage is called “moving in”. This is generally how you can gauge whether or not the kiss is going to be well received, since everyone has the faint idea or knowledge that faces getting close together usually results in a kiss.
The pre-kiss stage starts with eye-contact, and lots of it. If the eye-contact is intense and neither of you seem able to look away, that’s when you know a kiss is going to be well-received. After establishing eye contact, you’ll want to lean closer. Keep your eyes open! You don’t want to accidentally knock heads.
Once you lean close enough for noses to brush, tilt your head to avoid a full-face collision. When you’re close enough that finding their lips will be easy without looking, you can close your eyes. Kisses are generally better with closed eyes, and you won’t look like you’re staring at your kissing partner.
2. The Kiss
When your lips finally meet, you’ll probably be a little nervous and not sure how to make the kiss good. The way a kiss is situated means that your bottom lip should be pressed between your partner’s upper and bottom lip, like a perfect puzzle piece. This is a beginner kiss, and quite chaste.
You can part your lips slightly for a more sensual kiss, or keep them gently pursed for a more chaste kiss. Either way, this is the actual act of the Kiss, though there’s much more to it than just pressing your lips together. For a quick, caste kiss, you can stop here. But for something a little more…
3. Lip Movement
There’s so many different ways to move your lips when you’re kissing someone. It all depends on what feels comfortable for you, and what your partner likes. The most common and basic lip movement when it comes to kissing involves puckering your lips as if you were going to give someone a quick peck on the check, but instead of drawing away, you want to continue to maintain the lip contact. Start slow by giving them a few short kisses on the lips, continuing to keep your lips close together between each one. The longer kisses you given them, the more sensual the kiss becomes.
Once you have the basics of kissing down, you can start to add a little flair. You kiss their bottom lip instead of both of their lips, or give the corner of their mouth a sweet kiss. You can also brush the tip of your tongue along their bottom lip for a little excitement. When kissing, you can always play with other sensations of the lips rather than just the kissing motion. Try brushing your lips along theirs without actually kissing them for a bit of a tease.
When kissing someone, you don’t have to stick to their lips, either. Other erogenous areas appreciate a good kiss. When you’re ready to move on from their lips to, say, their neck, trail a line of kisses from the corner of their mouth to their jaw, then to their throat. Some people also like having their earlobes kissed. Kissing is all about exploration with your partner and finding out what they like best.
4. Practice, Practice, Practice.
The best part about kissing is that most people really like to do it, and if you can find someone who likes to kiss you then there’s no reason not to practice your technique. When your figure out how to kiss best with one person, remember that it won’t be like that for every person you kiss. It’s good to have a base understanding, but be prepared to change your techniques depending on who it is you’re kissing. Some people like different types of kissing than others.
And there you have it! Kissing is a fun, intimate activity that almost everyone has done but no one seems to know how to do. Thankfully, most people are just faking it till that make it, anyway. Chances are, you’ll be learning to kiss with someone who is also a little self-conscious about the act. Go forth, and kiss!