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11 Lesbian Relationship Rules


Every relationship has its own set of rules, regardless of whether your sexual orientation. Naturally, if you’re not a lesbian you probably aren’t acquainted with the rules of being in a lesbian relationship. Whether you’re a lesbian or not, it’s always good to try to understand another point of view. Here are the 11 lesbian relationship rules that you should know about.

There aren’t any gender definitions

You probably think that if one woman looks more masculine than the other, then she is the “man” in the relationship. But this isn’t so. There aren’t any gender definitions in lesbian relationships. Just because you work in an office and your partner works from home, you’re not the man. Sure, there are roles that people can adopt, however, they’re not set roles and it really depends on the couple.

If you cheat, you cheat

There’s no difference for lesbians when it comes to cheating. Cheating is cheating in any relationship, regardless of who’s in it. Some people feel that it’s not cheating if a lesbian hooks up with another girl or guy, but it is. There’s no “oh, I’m a lesbian so I can hook up with other people” card. That person is just creating an excuse to cheat.

You do not have to have a butch/femme relationship

This is a common misconception with lesbian relationships. People assume that if you’re femme, you have to have a butch partner and vice versa. But that’s not the case. If you’re butch you can be with a butch or if you’re femme you can be with a femme. If the same for heterosexual relationships, if you’re an introvert, you’re not solely restricted to dating extroverts. You can be attracted to literally anyone you feel chemistry with, regardless of their background.

Lesbian relationships take work

Many people think that because it’s two women in a relationship, it goes much smoother because they understand each other and are more expressive. This isn’t true, in fact, lesbian relationships take just as much work as heterosexual relationships. Women don’t like to commit until they know that they trust their partner and feel that they know their partner. So, lesbian aren’t so quick to settle down without feeling secure.

Not every lesbian wants to have a threesome

Just because someone is a lesbian, it doesn’t automatically mean that they want to be in a threesome. Nor is it a requirement in lesbian relationships. Sure, some lesbians do enjoy engaging in threesomes but that doesn’t mean it applies to everyone. If you’re about to commit yourself to a relationship with another woman, don’t think that you have to engage in threesomes or orgies – it doesn’t work like that.

Sex isn’t an every night requirement

Many people assume that if you’re a lesbian you’re having sex a couple times a day, which is absurd. Sure, there are people who have higher sex drives, but lesbian relationships don’t require the couple to have sex every day. Lesbians aren’t different from any other woman who has sexual needs. Sometimes she’ll be tired, or she’ll have her period and there won’t be any sex- sex isn’t a #1 in lesbian relationships.

You don’t have to use sex toys

This is a common question: how do lesbians have sex? Many people answer that sex toys are often used, which is true but it’s not required. You can be in a healthy lesbian relationship and not use sex toys. The female body is so interesting in the way that it becomes turned on. There are so many options when it comes to turning on a woman, though sex toys are an option, they’re not a must.

Communication is key

Women are emotional and expressive, but this doesn’t mean we can read minds. I mean, we kind of can, but don’t assume that we’re all pros at it. That being said, an issue that commonly arises in lesbian relationships is the lack of communication. Someone doesn’t say how they feel, then they ignore their partner and this is when it becomes an issue. People think if two women are together in a relationship it’ll just go smoothly, but it’s easy to forget that your partner doesn’t always know how you feel.

Know that the lesbian community is small

You’re going to have to learn to be cordial around your exes and flings because the lesbian community isn’t as big as you think it is. This also means you’re probably going to run into your partner’s exes as well. Your partner may still be friends with their former flings and that’s something you’ll have to learn to be comfortable around.

Don’t get into a relationship unless you’re over your last one

Women have great intuition, so we all know when you’re over someone and when you’re not. It’s not in your best interest to be flip flopping around, using people as rebounds from your ex. Remember, the lesbian community is tight knit so, after a while, people are going to catch onto your scheme. You can date, you just have to be honest with who you’re dating. What are you looking for and what are your expectations or else you’ll be a heartbreaker and that’s not the title you need to have.

Have date nights

Like any relationship, it has its highs and lows. What you need to do is to remember to keep things interesting. Don’t wait for your partner to organize a fun date night, take it in your own hands. No matter if your partner is femme or butch, people love being surprised with fun adventures. So, get creative and take her somewhere she’ll love.
Whatever relationship you’re in, it takes work – lesbian relationships are no different other than the fact it’s two women. But the same issues in heterosexual relationships can arise in lesbian relationships as well. If you follow these rules, you’ll be well on your way to having a successful and happy relationship with your partner.