In a Hollywood movie, two people find love and live happily ever after. In the typical romantic comedy, the couple are completely unsuitable. If you had to draw names out of a hat to find a couple, you would do better than the actors. Despite all of their differences and struggles, love is enough to bring them together.
This is a heart-warming tale, but it is unfortunately not true in real life. In real life, relationships are based on common interests. Differences help to keep things exciting, but your relationship has to include at least a few shared interests and commonalities. More importantly, the relationship is about the work you put into it. Love does not matter. This is an important thing to remember: love does not matter. Love is only the catalyst that started the relationship. For you to stay together forever, work and commitment are the things that actually matter.
Wait . . . What About Compatibility
Compatibility is important. There are successful relationships between couples of different personality types, religions, socioeconomic backgrounds and other differences. While differences can be worked out, compatibility in bed, in person and in your shared goals is extremely important. You don’t want to have 100 percent in common because that would be boring. You should have a significant number of things in common though so that it is easier for you to relate to each other, spend time together and understand each other.
What Is the One Factor in a Successful Relationship
When it comes to successful relationships, there are a number of things that determine whether the relationship will last or not. One major factor is commitment and work. You have to work at understanding each other, finding time for each other and being a good partner. People change, and you have to keep working at the relationship if you want to continue to have things in common.
Another factor in success? Seeing your marriage as the only option. We don’t mean that it is your only option in life or that you are stuck with it. The real goal is to see staying married as your only decision. When you treat your relationship as the only course of action, then you start to act like it. Instead of considering a divorce or wondering what life would be like if you were separated, you realize that you have to find a way to make things work. When staying married is the only option you consider, you find a way to make things work out.
Research studies have also shown that how you approach the relationship can determine its longevity. Happy, long-lasting partnerships were found to use terms like “we” or “us” more often. This basically reflects how the couple viewed their partnership. They were not an “I” who makes decisions, goes to dances or finds a new job. They became a “we” who takes on the world together.
Another factor? Your finances. Other than infidelity, financial problems are one of the leading causes of divorce. Being low on cash or high in debt naturally makes you stressed out. This stress can impact your relationship, your family and your ability to focus at work. One way to lower this stress is to spend less on your wedding and engagement ring. In research studies, couples who spent more on their wedding were 46 percent more likely to get divorced. A wedding is just an event. The happiness that happens on your wedding day is because of the person you are marrying. Skip the bill, and your relationship will thank you later.
Why Love Is Not Enough for a Relationship
You cannot solve problems in your relationship with love. Love might help you approach a problem with an open-mind, but it won’t do the dishes, fix your money issues or get your partner to start cleaning up after themselves. Love is never enough. If you expect all of your relationship problems to be solved by just being in love, you will be sorely disappointed. You need to have two partners who both want to work on finding a solution and work at building a stronger relationship. Without that level of commitment, your chances of having a long-term relationship are unlikely.
You need love to start a relationship, but you have to have other qualities to keep it going. Sooner or later, the infatuation of your early relationship ends. For the relationship to keep going, you have to have a friendship with each other to fall back on. You both have to want to be in the relationship and make it work. Otherwise, you may as well call it quits right now.
Hollywood rarely shows real relationships because they just do not sell well. No one wants to watch the little things that make a relationship great. Your partner washes the dishes because he know you worked late. You remember to save the last muffin because he loves them. These aren’t moments that look great on the silver screen, but they are the little things that show how much you care and how much you think about each other. A relationship starts with love, but it needs more than just that to survive.